*****
The time has come
For me to gather
Up my goods
And move along
We’ve traded thoughts
And some mementoes
Made new friends
And sang a song
Don not forget
To call the tinker
When your heart
It needs a mend
I am here
Along the pathway
In the house
Round the bend
*****
2007-12-28 08:17:08 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
You must be going round the bend!
One breath for all that?
Come on take a grip....
You've yet to earn the last four lines.
2007-12-28 10:07:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it sounds a bit sad, as if you're retiring from active duty, so to speak, but that you'll be there if people come to you. In a bad, sad, mood today? Tired from all the questions, answers, cooking, and holiday celebrations? I hope this is just a passing fancy and that your youthful joy will soon return.
2007-12-28 19:11:02 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. And no.
However, there is a pseudo-resonance in the last stanza, well-mimicked from mature poets. If it had something substantial to tie to it...perhaps it would fit.
Try reading some Hayden Carruth or some W.S. Merwyn. Those two guys read like that stanza wants to be read.
Pay attention to the detail and the voice they use.
Soon, you'll earn that last stanza, but you haven't done that yet.
That's the true mark of success as a poet: earning that last stanza.
2007-12-28 16:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Nathan D 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sorry it makes no sense ! Try It was on the Murrumbidgee on the banks of the old bar-coo ! my brother ran a brothel and a bloody good one too ! said the harlot to the squire with a Mitty shout ! you took your time to get it in now you can pull the basted out ! Or My hart is broke ! My soul is Gray ! A young woman says Hi ! But no word,s can i say ! I look in her eyes so deep and blue ! I wont to jump in and have a life too ! I fight for a smile ! My soul is now pink ! She offer,s me her hart ! And all her love too ! Now we have children ! And every thing,s great ! I teach them of life and how not to hate.
2007-12-28 17:13:17 · answer #4 · answered by david f 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I loved your poem but it's rather sad as it sounds like your going somewhere,I hope it's just the poem that;s saying so long and not you. you always write the best poems T.D.
2007-12-28 16:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's good, i don't know what the situation is of why ur leaving, but, i sometimes write poems like that, they don't sound old, i don't know what mementoes are, but the whole thing sounds like a keeper.
2007-12-28 17:11:52 · answer #6 · answered by ang 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kind of sounds like you are saying goodbye, but can be taken as you are retiring or being put out to pasture, so to speak.
2007-12-28 16:22:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like a poem as if you were leaving it to say goodbye like death or leaving someone. i like it though. You're really good
2007-12-28 17:14:53 · answer #8 · answered by mrs polaha 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like it a lot...it has a nice flow to it.
I agree with Squirrel...it does sound like you are saying goodbye...
2007-12-28 17:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually think that's pretty good well done you,
For me I can relate but it's in a very personal way.
Thank you :)
Keep up the good work.
2007-12-28 16:29:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋