I need to get over this?

Question

If there is anyone in this forum who has gone thru therapy to overcome childhood abuse, please tell me what methods you have learned. I have good health ins. which will pay for 80 %, but at this time can't afford to pay the other 20 %. I was terribly abused verbally by my mother, who criticized me everyday, would give me the silent treatment for days at a time, would sit and glare at me for hours, ridicule me to relatives and friends, who would in turn add to the insults. My brother tells me that when I was 3 and he was 6, she would scream at us to get out of bed on Saturday mornings and tell us to iron the clothes and clean the house because we were lazy no good children, then she would storm out of the house to shop at the thrift stores. If I accidently broke something of hers while cooking or cleaning, I would beg my brother to kill me so that I wouldn't have to face her rage. I have grown up to be a terrified, depressed adult, but now want to have a good life.

I am a Christian. I love the Lord with all of my heart. I've prayed for healing from this for years and years. Please don't tell me now that I haven't been healed because I don't have enough faith.

Answer 1

I thought we grew up in the same family until you said you had one brother. LOL I understand how you feel..my situation was similar. I have had lots of therapy and the one I found most helpful is called "cognitive" therapy. You dont need a therapist to work on issues. There are books which direct a change in "thinking". This change in thought process leads to healthy self esteem which opens many doors for a good life as an adult. We learn to see that our fears, while adaptive at one time, no longer serve us and actually interfer with our ability to live well. Good luck. Please know that healing from the past is a PROCESS which takes time and occurs in layers. You can do it!!!!!!!

Answer 2

These things are sadly happening more and more in this day-and-age. But that doesn't negate the hurt, and suffering you've been put through. Your question touched my heart, as well as those who have already replied. I felt the concern in the tone of their replies. Listen to Debara A and Depoetic, they are on the right track. I read a book once by Joyce Myer called "the Battlefield of the Mind". It was a god-sent help. Also, get into a real God loving church. Find some REAL Christians that will help you in your time of emotional healing. Keep an active and healthy prayer life going. THAT above all is your life line! I don't know you, but will add you to my prayer list, God bless!

Answer 3

I'm sorry Daisy, but I'm not a fan of any type of Psycho Therapy.
Oh I know that these folks have years and years of training but
I have chosen to make Jesus the Lord of my Life and with His
Word (the Bible) I believe I can and will overcome anything that
comes across my life. Anything. Anger, Rage, Hate, Fear, are
things I've had to deal with in this life and I don't think I'm any better than any one else. I trust Him to get me through. And
I'm not going to go see some one else about it. I sincerely wish you well in whatever path you choose to follow. You know best what is good for you. God Bless You Always.
I Cr 13;8a

Answer 4

I grew up in a physically, mentally and verbally abusive home.

I did many years of counseling - and would suggest you look for those therapists who operate their pay scales on a sliding scale basis.

The difference in MY life - and ultimately the lives of all family members involved - was I had Jesus Christ in my life. The strength I derive - and the healing that only He could provide has been miraculous and astounding. Even my father has turned his life around.

Dear one - I know what it is like to be beaten with belts - and other things, to have my father's hands at my throat as he beat my head against a cement floor, and to have a gun in my face. I know the fear of their rage - and how no amount of hiding when the "storm" is brewing can stop it.

I also know the pain of being constantly told how worthless I am. I also know - Jesus says I *AM* worthy... that I'm even someone so valuable, that I was worth dying for - and defeating that death.

So are you.

I now have the strength given me by my God, my Christian Counselors, and my healthy relationships forged in my church. I know the miracle of having a loving father who has begun to learn HOW to love. I have seen my abused and abusive sisters turn to lives of service for the less fortunate. I have seen the move of God - which is bigger than my own capacity to imagine.

If I could beg you to do anything - I would beg you - for the sake of saving your future life, your sanity, your health and the lives of your family - seek Jesus, and never give up seeking him. Please dear one.

Those signs have tremendous meaning and truth for me - and for you. You know the ones:

"Jesus Saves!"

Peace.

Answer 5

Ill expand on Barbara A's answer because I agree with what she said and suggest an author who is very good at identifying and rationally challenging self defeating beliefs.

Psychologist, Albert Ellis has written several books on this subject and I would recommend 'A Guide To Rational Living', 'Anger: How To Live With And Without It' as well as 'How To Stubbornly Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Anything- Yes Anything!'

He challenges the psychoanalytic view that in order to overcome our issues we must thoroughly go over and analyze the past. Rather than focus on the past, Ellis sees the problem lying in how we PRESENTLY THINK about past occurances.

Answer 6

Your mother sounds like she had some mental problems. You need to forgive yourself, and love yourself. I know it is hard, but if you can forgive her, and move on with your life. It would help you out so much. Can you talk to a Christian counselor? God said all we need is the faith of a mustard seed. It is very small. You have that. Find a group that you can sit down and talk with them on this. Satan wants us depressed and terrified. God said that He never gave us the spirit of fear. Satan is doing this to you, and if he can keep you down he will. You need to keep reading God's Word. Start doing Bible studies. Lean on Jesus, and He will carry you through. Life is hard, but God is good. God bless you as you keep searching for the truth.