*****
Dream packages C.O.D. on U.P.S.
No goodies, unless they gets paid for
The bent brown box from a straight brown truck
My Buck knife slips down the taped edges
The flaps unfold, exploding foam
Underneath, another package I see
This one is wrapped in golden paper
To you from me, it says on the label
I lift out the package, spilling peanuts
The ribbon and bow had a rough trip in the truck
But my box looks no worse for wear
I loose the bindings from my bundle
Delicately tearing away the tape
I like to save the paper, I don’t know why
Under the golden sheet is another layer
A cornucopia printed on the box
I raise it up high and shake it around
I have no idea what is inside
It is very light…
*****
I warned you!
Ta Dah!
2007-12-28 06:50:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
The concept that is this poem's skeleton is well and good. The language, the muscle and sinew of the poem, though, does not cohere to this well-constructed thought stream. It is hard to follow and, in places, monotonous to read (which is not what you are trying to accomplish at all).
It is a brilliant last line, but it hasn't been earned. Which is a tragedy for the poem and a serious poetic crime for you to attempt to get away with.
2007-12-28 09:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by Nathan D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel a certain amount of guilt when after the 47th daily query of "Do You Like My Poem" I eschew the mouseclick. With my luck, it was probably a zinger too.
2007-12-28 08:19:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By Zeus!
you fed,
my thoughts.
A plenty.
Light as,
air they float.
Suckled by.
That Goat Horn.
Of Plenty.
2007-12-28 10:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, in my case it was a fluffy polar bear and a hamster. It's unfair too coz i'm scared of hamsters~~~!
2007-12-28 11:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by Dark Dickinsonian 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to read it three times, it was so light...
2007-12-28 07:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by neonman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now I'm curious. I wish you had opened it.
2007-12-28 11:19:35 · answer #6 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give the damd thing to Bomb Scaud....they know the answer...
I shure as hell don't...and on't want to know.....!
ELYSABETH
2007-12-28 11:28:35 · answer #7 · answered by Elysabeth 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, come on! What is it??? The suspense is killing me!
2007-12-28 07:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Reenie: Mom of Marine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋