Financially. I have a friend who is looking for a man who can support her to her standard. Not because she cannot support herself but for the occasion when/if she could not.
Is this wrong? I am on the fence with this one. I think you should take care of yourself. But I also think that if the occasion should arise you should gladly take care of your spouse and vice versa. But is this a trait that should be a diciding factor when starting a relationship?
2007-12-28 04:14:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Just to be clear......
She DOES NOT need to be supported. She is very financially secure. But she wants to have that option should it be needed.
2007-12-28 04:25:23 · update #1
If that's ALL they are after then YES it's wrong.
There is nothing wrong with a man supporting a woman, or the other way round, but the basis for a true relationship has to be there first.
PS: Where the hell ya been?
2007-12-28 04:21:51 · answer #1 · answered by Weatherman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife is a stable employable person. She has a good work ethic. This is part of who she is. I didn't marry her because she had a good job, but I could never see myself falling for a lazy bum either. I don't think it should be about how much money the person can earn, but I see nothing wrong with wanting a decent person who is willing to pull their own weight. Anyone who tells you finances don't matter has never been married. Financial pressure probably causes more marriages to break up than any other single factor. Your friend may just be level headed and on a path for a secure future for herself, her mate and her children. On the other hand she could be a money grubbing gold digger. If you know her, you know which is the truth. What everyone else thinks doesn't matter.
2007-12-28 12:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by YahooGuru2u 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she is not JUST looking for a man who is financially secure. That is probably just one of the important factors in selecting a mate. It is only natural to seek someone who you may be able to feel financially secure with. However, this shouldn't be the main factor in choosing a mate. If she wants to be a homemaker or a stay-at-home mom, she will no doubt need some means of financial support. Talk to her about if and discuss how you feel.
2007-12-28 12:25:08 · answer #3 · answered by Taste the Rainbow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to each his, or her own.
If a man wants to "Support" a woman, that is his prerogative. If a woman wants to be "supported," that is hers. I don't believe that there is any right or wrong way to seek out your mate.
I personally prefer a woman that does not need a man. That way there is not a dependency factor in a relationship. That is unhealthy in my opinion for those involved, in addition I have seen what that "dependency" can do to a woman in the even that the man leaves or something like that. I surely would not want my little girl depending solely on a man. Men are people and as such, can be Undependable at times.
2007-12-28 12:20:25 · answer #4 · answered by Birdogsego 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always hear that you should look for a spouse that is not in a lot of debt, which sounds kind of cruel, but you have to think- most marriages end because of financial strain. On the other hand, I was raised to be independent and to not depend on anyone to take care of me, financially. So, I guess it's not a bad idea to look for someone that is financially stable, but to look for someone that can completely support you, to me, that's a recipe for disaster.
2007-12-28 12:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by regina falange 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i learned a valuable lesson with my 1st marriage. he did not want me to work so i didn't until after the kids were in school. then i went to work part time.
we got a divorce, i had no money and no way to support myself. (we got married right after high school)
through a friend, i found out about a place that was hiring. the pay wasn't great, but i could manage and it had excellent health care.
i met someone there and he too said i didn't have to work. i kept working. it will be nice when he retires and we have 2 pension checks instead of just his.
2007-12-28 12:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by frostbite2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always said I married for love the first time....the next time it's going to be for money!!! I don't really know, guess it depends on if both parties agree to the arrangement. I can't see myself totally dependent on a man though.
2007-12-28 12:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by stoutunicorn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as she is upfront about this with potential prospects, I don;t see a problem with it. But if she is hiding this thought, and then expects her husband to take care of her like that, it could cause a lot of marital problems.
2007-12-28 12:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by SpaceMonkey67 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's gonna be one screwed up relationship that was started for all the wrong reasons.
2007-12-28 12:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, i don't think it's wrong. i am the same way. i know my place is to be a wife and take care of the house and kids so, he needs to take care of the finances.
2007-12-28 12:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by GOLDENFAIRY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋