im involve with my lovely bf for more than 3 years.. and yes, we've plan for marriage when in 21 (fyi nw im going 20) when i hv my freedom from my parent coz they surely dont agree about us... im not here to crash his married but instead to be part of his life.. i will totally not agree if he divorce his wife.. im preparing mentally n physically to be the 2nd wife.. i know my friend hates me when im with him.. Most my friend say i dont deserve him cause im a nice person.. but i think this is my fate.. n i will accept it with all my heart.. he has all the factor that i want.. n he married his wife when he was 18 cause his parent ask him to do so.. i really love him so much.. im i a bad person??
2007-12-28 03:32:26 · 36 answers · asked by paris_asia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He married his first wife for his parents. He met and wants to marry you for love. If you love him and accept him married or not, but married to you then you are a great person. It seems as though you know what you are doing and you know your heart. Do what you want to do you are old enough to know, even if your parents and friends don't understand.
2007-12-28 03:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by Luck Y 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please tell me this is a joke.
This is NOT your "fate", this is your choice to be with a married man. He started dating you when you were 16? In the United States, that is child molestation and statutory rape. This is not about love, it's about being childish and selfish.
I hate to be blunt, but there is no such thing as a "2nd wife". He is married and committed to someone else, not to you. How would you feel if you were his wife and found out he had been having an affair with a child for over 3 years? You are so much better off away from this poor excuse of a man. I hope you find a person of your own.
2007-12-28 03:41:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're not here to crash his marriage, then stop trying to be a part of it. He is committed to another woman and will probably never leave her. If he cheated on her, he will cheat on you - and how would that make you feel? Your friends say that you are a nice person and don't deserve him - well what you're doing to his wife (and to yourself) isn't nice at all.
Stop being so immature - you are only 20 and have a long life ahead of you. You should ditch the married guy and find someone who respects and appreciate you - because this guys doesn't and never will.
2007-12-28 03:38:39 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should think of the other way. What if you were his wife now ? How will you feel if your husband is having affair with a girl for 3 years without you knowing it. Will it hurts ? I know love is sometimes unreasonable. Yes, you do love him but I don't think he is sincere ... If he really loves you, he got to plan to divorce his wife before actually entering into relationship with you but you mentioned that he is involved with you for 3 years ... All this while, he has responsibility if he has wife. But what i worried is, does he really love you or just toying with you? Please don't look into becoming 2nd wife. It'll be hard for your next generation. Think of your future. Think of the present wife he has. How will she feel about all this ? I am not blaming you but just worried about you getting cheated. You are still young ... and plenty of things that you can do and plenty of ppl that you can love ... will you sacrify all the things in the world just to be with him and what if he turns back on you ?? You will be hurt tremendously. Please thikn carefully because it will affect your life deeply. Don't let your heart rules you. I know it's hard but it will be harder if you choose this path. Trust me ... it's not going to be easy ...
2007-12-28 10:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you feel about recking a relationship? wouldnt you think that a girl who recked your marraige by being the chick on the side would be considered a bad person? you need to back off and let him be in his marraige totally and not take him away from his wife.,..its just wrong...if i were her i would beat you up and leave him than you two could be happy together...why are you accepting to be the second wife??? do you think that low of yourself that you feel you dont deserve to be number one? if so you have issues and no onme should want to be involved with you...you will never get satisfaction out of a relationship or recieve what a real wife should if you dont set higher expectations... there are too many men out there to be the tramp who steals other girls men.....girls like you just make me mad!
2007-12-28 04:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by Life....it blows! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes this bad is that you know what you're doing is wrong. How would you feel if he did this to you in 5 years down the road. You should really consider the wife in all this. Does she know? I'm sure the husband is telling you things that he thinks you need to know. You are very young and I'm sure you are final in your decision. If you truely think this is what you want, then wait to continue the relationship after the divorce is final. Otherwise, you are just as guilty as he is. Thank you.
2007-12-28 03:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad person, your just making the wrong choices that is why some of you friends and family are against it, even if you see him as your dream guy and like everything about him you don't want to be the cause of his divorce, its best if you sit down and think long and hard about this because if he leaves her for you who's to say he wont leave you for who ever else out there and you guys are still young, just enjoy your young life you can only live it once. But good luck!!
2007-12-28 03:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by Tony Tony Tony 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW!!!! If you have any self respect you will get out now. Right now you have nothing to lose because you are young and single..keep in mind that is why he keeps you on the side. He will tell you everything you want to hear so you will stay with him. How will you feel when another girl is playing your role if you were his wife? Besides....there are legal aspects he is bound into that you have no idea about. Leave the wifes husband alone there are enough single guys out there.
2007-12-28 03:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by Been there Done that 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you for real? or do you come from a culture where it is acceptable to settle for being the mistress, or "2nd wife" as you call it? This is totally unhealthy for those of us in the Western world where infidelity is intolerable, not to mention a sin for those whose marriages represent a sacred spiritual bond.
I can't believe I wasted any words in posting this, because with your "logic" none of what I or other rational folks have to say will make any impact.
2007-12-28 03:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look it doesn't mean that you are bad it just means that you have your priorities messed up and you are scared of a committed relationship so you olay in guys that eventually have to go home and they really can't have strings attached because of their wives but when it all boils down people say that you are bad because a lot of us have husbands that are cheating on us with someone like you and the bad thing is you knew he was married and you continued to see him a lot of women out don't know that the man they are with are married.
2007-12-28 03:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋