How Can I Unspoil My 1 Month Infant? PLEASE HELP!!!!?

Question

i have a 1 month old infant and he never wants to be put down he cries every time i lay him down and he have been like this every sense he came home from the hospital. I know i have to stop holding him my husband let's him cry my i have a weak heart for him sense he's my first child and i have to pick him up because i feel as i'm doing something wrong or hurting him when he cries louder and louder and he cries for a long time like 10mins straight or longer when i try it. He dosent stop or is it because i pick him up to early. He only go's to sleep laying on me. can someone PLEASE HELP im at a crossroad!!!!!

Answer 1

There is no such thing as spoiling an infant! The baby is a month old! Of course the baby wants to be held.

Answer 2

You can not spoil an infant, an infant does not know yet that it can manipulate you say the way a 4 or 5 year old can. Infants especially newborns are driven by instinct, that is why you must feed them every time they are hungry and why you must comfort them whenever they cry. Feed your baby and comfort him, he misses the womb hence why newborns are often swaddled because the constriction reminds them of when they were most comfortable. The baby will cry less and sleep more over time especially if you tend to their needs now. It creates security so that they know they are being taken care of and can survive. "Unspoiling" the baby now will create issues of mistrust later in life which can lead to emotional problems. Infancy is the most critical time for bonding so you do whatever the heck that baby wants. By the way you should feel blessed he only cries for 10 minutes at a time, when my sisters baby was a newborn she would cry for over and hour now at six months she never cries unless hungry and sleeps all through the night. Is that what a spoiled baby is to you?

Answer 3

You can't spoil a one month old infant. You can't spoil an infant period...

If your baby is crying it likely means there is something wrong. Maybe the clothing you have him in was washed in a detergent that's harsh on his skin, maybe his diapers are too tight, maybe he is much hungrier than what you are feeding him, maybe he is going through a growth spurt, maybe he has colic, maybe he has gas pains that need some medicine, maybe he just wants to be held, but regardless of all the maybe's please call your baby's pediatrician and ask his/her advice on what the source of your poor babies discomfort may be.

Do not let the baby "cry it out" at this age, they simply don't understand it and will only get more and more upset.

ADDITIONAL::: A suggestion someone made was to use a sling or a wrap. That is a good suggestion. There is this thing called SwaddleMe and it swaddles the baby nice and tight the way they like it. Your baby may just want the feeling that he/she had when they were in the womb, where everything was close and warm. Swaddling the infant will help reduce the crying if that's the case, and those SwaddleMe's are wonderful in that case. (My baby hated being swaddled, but most baby's love it) You can buy one at Target, WalMart, KMart, etc.

Answer 4

try a baby sling so you can wear your baby. You can not spoil an infant under a year. In fact, the quicker you respond to your baby's cries at this age, whether it is to hold him feed him etc, the more he will learn to trust that his needs will be met and in time he will cry much much less. I have a rule in my house, and its dont let the baby cry. I try to get to her as soon as I can as soon as I hear a "pre" cry, or the little noises they make right before it goes into a full on wail. As a result, my baby hardly ever cries now. If I dont get to her right away, she trusts I am coming and can wait a bit rather than scream. She's almost 3 months now though, and does not have colic or anything else that can cause excessive crying in a baby. Talk to your doctor if you think there may be another reason your baby is crying or if the crying is really non stop. other than that, hold your baby and comfort him when he needs in, and be patient. as time goes on he will cry less and less. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

You cant spoil a newborn. He wants to be held because he NEEDS to be held. Its not an issue of spoiling, its an issue of his fear and confidence. He has NEVER been alone and NEVER been without you, he is over stimulated by the new world around him and unsure of how to be his own body.

Pick him up, he needs it.

Now if he were 6 months old and wouldnt let you put him down THEN you'd have a problem. As it is he's being a newborn, and its needed and normal.

Little by little you can put him down in the SAME ROOM as where you are, and leav ehim for 5-15 minutes at a time until he gets used to it. But dont leave him to cry while you go elsewhere in the house, its not fair and he's just too small.

Get a baby pouch sling, you can get them on ebay for like 15-20 bucks. I actually make them and sell them. Theyre a life saver.

Answer 6

I agree with many of the others here. You can't spoil a newborn. I have 4 children and babysat a lot of others (4 of them were the children of a pediatrician). So I have a little experience here. Your baby is crying for a reason. One reason may be he is uncomfortable. Try swaddling him (wrapping him in the blanket). Go to this site http://parenting.ivillage.com/newborn/ncare/0,,lz_76v6,00.html for info on how to do this (it has pictures!) Also, babies are used to it being quite noisey. Try some white noise- music, a vaccum cleaner, even going shhhhhh while holding him. Rocking or swinging is also very comforting to baby. If he still has difficulty sleeping, you may want to talk to doc. He may have colic or acid reflux. There are things that can help him with these issues. Good luck and listen to your instincts. They are usually right!!

Answer 7

My son slept on my husband or I for the first 6 to 8 weeks of his life. Think about the baby's environment in the womb before birth. They are wrapped tightly and always can hear your heartbeating, etc. Try to recreate that environment outside the womb to make him feel secure. Get a sling and wear him. He is at the perfect age for it since he is still so small. My 7 month old is a tank and I can't do it anymore!! LOL! Keep him swaddled tightly. My son LOVED LOVED LOVED his swing. Get a nice one with some soothing music. Just hang in there. You cannot spoil a baby at this age. Crying it out is not, in my opinion, a good way to raise a baby. It makes them insecure and it is very important to build your bond of trust with your baby. Get the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It explains some really good ways to calm a baby. It worked great for me. My son still likes to be shushed to go to sleep! Good luck

Answer 8

I think one month old is too early to let a baby cry. I don't think you can spoil a month old baby. I'd wait til he's about 2.5 months old to let him cry for a little bit. That's when I started letting mine cry a little and that was just to get him to fall back to sleep by himself. I never let him cry over 10 minutes before checking on him. We don't hold him all day so he is comfortable entertaining himself and knows he doesn't need us to hold him all the time.

Answer 9

It may not be from you holding him that he likes being so close to you and cries when he is not held. Some babies are known to have colic and cry a lot. Sometimes the only thing that works to calm these babies is noise- usually noises similar to those they heard in the womb. When he lies on you, especially above your chest area, near you heart, he can hear your heart beat, which reminds him of the swishing sounds he heard in the womb, so it is calming. You could try finding a CD that has the sound of a babies heartbeat inside the mother's womb and have it play while he is in the crib or bassinet and see if that works.

Answer 10

He is not spoiled, he is an infant! For the first 9 months of his existence he was held safe and warm 24/7 in your womb. Coming into this world is a big change, and being held and comforted is a need of his. You are not and will not spoil him by holding him. Going to him when he cries teaches him that he can trust you, and that will make him more secure, thus making him more secure when he decides to step out on his independence as he knows you will be there when he needs you.

I suggest getting a sling, it is a life-saver!
http://www.thebabywearer.com

Answer 11

Everybody is right.. babies cry. Thats what they do..

Do you have a swing? It works wonders sometimes and I dont know why. Also soothing classical music, car rides, swaddling.. the baby sling is also a good idea as anxious as you are. Also going for a walk if it is not too cold outside. Oh yeah, one of those vibrating chair.. it soothes them somehow.

Just remember this is not permanent and it will get better!