We have a 6 week old baby and my husband is possibly jealous and acting VERY immature. He doesn't realize that a 6 wk old baby cannot "pay attention" to him yet when he wants her attention. So he is doing strange and immature things. For example, he will yell the baby's name from across the room. He threw a sock at the baby's face the other day and I was totally shocked. He constantly "mulls" the baby and says things like "Daddy loves you the most." He snaps his fingers and whistles loudly, either in her face or from across the room. This behavior can be appaling at times and disturbing. One major thing he did was that he took a flashlight and shined it in her face from across the room. I was horrified and very upset. How do I deal with this and get him to stop? When I tell him to stop he gets an attitude with me. I'm trying to play nice and show him attention and let him feed and hold the baby to make things better but it's not working. What should I do?
2007-12-28 02:31:53 · 27 answers · asked by Luckyprincess 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
this guy has shaken baby syndrome written all over him. tell him if his behavior doesn't improve, you fear for your child's welfare and will leave. you must put the baby first, and one day he will get so frustrated he may hurt her....sorry....
2007-12-28 02:36:59 · answer #1 · answered by Heather Honey 4 · 16⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question. I'm anxious to see what answers you get. I've had this problem also. The only thing I can tell you is to give it time. As the baby gets older and is more fun hubby should come around. Just don't let hubby do anything to hurt the baby.......my hubby and I fought from week 2-week 12 I think! I am a Momma bear with a cub when it comes to my baby!
I did not let my baby alone with my husband! I also tried to explain things about babies to him but was told I was a "know it all". We have since talked about this calmly and things have settled down 100%!
2007-12-28 02:39:28 · answer #2 · answered by rivergirl939 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't normal. I usually wouldn't say this however this is so odd I think I should, be careful, watch your baby closely around him. I hate saying this but I just felt really strongly that this wasn't right and the baby shouldn't be alone with him. Get a book about babies for him to read, so he can understand what a baby is capable of, print stuff of the internet. I don't know why he would act like that, but the sock thing is a bit much.
2007-12-28 02:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by liv t 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You are the only person in this world who can protect your little one...she is counting on you for everything. I would absolutely DEMAND that he stop this behavior immediately. No niceties about it. Tell him that his behavior is actually getting him the opposite effect of what he's going for. His daughter probably doesn't feel all that comfortable and safe around him, so of course she's not going to pay attention to him!!! She'll probably become quite ansy around him if she hasn't already.
If he doesn't immediately stop, I would pack up and go to a hotel, a good friend, your parents. If that doesn't give him a wake up call, you have a very serious problem on your hands, and if you're interested in saving this marriage, go to counseling.
2007-12-28 03:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by saxcat00 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems he just doesnt "get it". He is acting like its a puppy. Maybe get him a puppy and he will leave you two alone. But seriously, I think he may not know how to act around a baby. Can you all sign up for some "mommy/daddy n baby classes at the local hospital. The nurses can show him a few things, and it will be discretely and he wont even know he is getting baby training.
2007-12-28 02:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by glazeddonut27 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There have been too many infant deaths at the hands of immature, jealous people to allow this to go on one more minute. Tell him NOW to shape up or ship out ! It is too late after the infant is brain damaged, blinded or dead to do anything about it. Then you lose both of them and your self-respect, too, because people will feel you should have acted to defend the infant. Don't wait until he is crying to a judge, "I did not mean to do it" !
Many men [people] are not "psychologically minded". They can only see things through their own viewpoint. If he seems like one of this type, it may never change. Make a decision this very second because hindsight is too late.
2007-12-28 02:49:56 · answer #6 · answered by delyghtful 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like your husband is either to young or immaure to be having a child. I would be frighten if my husband did these things. Its appaling that he will contuine this behavoiur. Sit down and have a talk with him let him know you still love him and reassure him and let him know that your child needs the both of you to act like adults in this situation. Hopefully he will think and change if not you need to pack it up and keep it moving for the sake of yourself and your daughter. Sending you Blessings from God and prayers.
2007-12-28 02:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that borders on child abuse. He can permenantly damage the baby's eye sight doing that. Also he's not establishing a goof father/daughter relationship. You better hope she doesn't become a stripper.
Humor aside you should look into parenting classes. Your local United Way will usually be able to direct you to one locally. My Gf used to run the parenting classes here in Jackson Michigan and I benefitted a lt from it. Do the classes together so he doesn't feel picked on. Even if you have to say they're for you, make sure he attends. You'll probably learn a lot yourself.
2007-12-28 02:37:53 · answer #8 · answered by Tony AM 5 · 10⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is very immature and the presence of the new baby threatens his ego.....He is no longer the center of your universe. That alone is bad - but to try to frighten a baby (or any child for that matter) indicates a much deeper problem. I don't blame you for being concerned; resentment can take many forms.......even violence. His actions are Red Flags - don't ignore them.
2007-12-28 02:37:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! Your husband sounds like he could be a danger to the baby.
I recommend that your husband make an appointment with his physician for a complete physical to rule out any neurological problems.
If he checks out physically, then he needs parenting classes right away. He also needs to schedule weekly sessions with a therapist to address all of these issues/problems.
In the meantime, keep the baby safe at all costs! As the mother of an infant who cannot protect herself, that is your responsibility above all else. Keep that man away from your child before something terrible happens.
2007-12-28 02:37:03 · answer #10 · answered by kja63 7 · 12⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you should leave take the child with you and demand parenting classes for the father. No child should be subjected to that kind of behavior. And for you to sit idly by is abusive as well. Failing to protect ones child is abuse. I hope for your sake you case doesn't turn out like mine! My ex had the same characteristics and I failed to see those red flags until one day my child ended up in the emergency room and almost died twice! Needless to say I left and my child is alive and as well as one could hope. He has lingering problems but he is alive. Do what is right for your baby and LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
2007-12-28 02:47:29 · answer #11 · answered by frogbfound 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋