In the modern world, is it socially more acceptable for a woman or man to?

Question

to have more power in a relationship? Discuss why.

I'm not asking about should or could. I'm asking which one society is more acceptable of.

Jim Baw: You read my mind LOL

Answer 1

I don't think one person holds ultimate power over another in any relationship. I mean, part of being in a relationship is making yourself vulnerable to the other person and trusting them not to take advantage of or hurt you.

That being said, you constantly see on sitcoms men having to ask permission to do a lot of things - go on fishing trips with the boys, have a Super Bowl party, buy an expensive new "toy" (tv, car, boat, etc.). They make light of the situation, and often times they'll do it without asking and get in trouble. Now for the woman on the show, if she were to be going somewhere, the dialogue goes something like this

"Hey, me and the girls are going to go to the city for the weekend and go shopping."
"Okay honey, have a good time."

I think that applies a lot in the real world too. When I would want to do something with the boys one weekend, I would normally be like "Would you mind if me and my roommates went up to the cabin this weekend?" My last gf was always very good about those kinds of things, but if I worded it "Me and the guys are going up to the cabin this weekend," she would have been upset because it sounds like I didn't even think about her before making my decision. Whereas if she said "Me and the girls are having a girl's night tonight, so I can't hang out," I'd be like okay, have fun! And wouldn't really care. I think a lot of times girls focus on how you say things rather than what you are saying, whereas guys typically listen to what you are saying rather than how it's worded.

If my girlfriend would have had a problem with me going away for the weekend, she would be viewed by my friends as needy, but still not bad (unless it happened constantly). They'd ride me about being whipped, but unless it's a really bad situation, guys rarely mean anything by that when they are teasing their friends. To her friends, she probably would not be viewed negatively at all.

Now if I had a problem with her going away with her friends for the weekend, I would be viewed by her friends as overbearing or controlling, and I think that they would think of me negatively for it. And my friends probably would think I was paranoid or insecure. So I suppose it is more socially acceptable for a woman to have the power in the relationship.

Lioness: Lol great minds.... I actually was just talking about this last night with my friends because one of them "wasn't allowed out." haha

Answer 2

Yes, in modern times, post World War II, it is more acceptable for women to have more power in a relationship, after all, they foot half the bill so they should have a say where the money goes. In WWII when men were drafted to fight in the war, jobs usually monopolized by a male workforce had to be delegated to women. Industries like manufacturing cars, airplanes and even weapons could not be too picky with the gender of their employees because men were being shipped off to war by the thousands. Unless they suffer their businesses to halt, they had to employ women. After the war, though men came back to reclaim their dominance over the workplace, women no longer agreed to be kept home. They have had a taste of earning money and it felt great to be financially independent from a man. So the workplace had to accomodate the growing number of women who choose to work than become stay-at-home moms. Since the man no longer has the monopoly on being the family's only breadwinner, the woman's paycheck becoming more and more equal to the man's, she naturally should have say on how the family income is spent. Whoever pays has a say. So women have finally come out of the Dark Ages where they are second-class citizens in a relationship, because again money talks.

Answer 3

I do not think public opinion has anything to do with distribution of power within any relationships. I think it should be left to participants: they will know what feels right for them. And that should be good enough for the rest of the world.

Now, I consider spouses as not only representatives of two genders, but most impotently as two individuals with different types of personalities. One is always more decisive, organized and all around better suited for the leadership role (as you can see there was no place for gender here) in a relationship. Another spouse is happier to follow, because his / her personality is not suited for leadership anyway. Now, for a relationship to work, each spouse should equally share in emotional, mental and physical work it requires. However, everyone should do the things they are skilled at doing only.

Answer 4

I think it's more acceptable for the male to have the final word or more power/pull in a relationship. They call men "head of house hold" for reasons. Also never/rarely hear about a man taking a women's last name when getting married. He would be considered whipped if that was the case.

In all, I would hope it's even or close to it. She has more of a say when it come to ___ and he has more of a say when it comes ___ but in the end, it all evens out.

Answer 5

Society is more accepting of a relationship where the man is dominant. When women are more dominant, detractors like to call them “ball busters”, “prima donnas”, etc. even if her being dominant is more natural, given her upbringing or personality.

I have friends where the woman is dominant, but in a loving way, and the guy is more than happy for her to make the decisions in the relationship because they were good decisions to begin with. For example, she may “decide” (albeit having discussed it with him first) that they should buy a house in a particular neighborhood. He’s amiable to that, because he’s not particular about where they live, but she is.

Answer 6

If a woman has control, the man is seen as weak (and the woman domineering) and if a man has control, the woman is seen as submissive and setting the rest of us back 50 years. I think the most socially accepted balance is each partner having control in certain areas of the relationship such as child rearing, financial decisions, etc.

Answer 7

It should be 1/2 and 1/2. However most women have more power. It's part of being spoiled. Who cares about socially acceptable? I don't think anyone else needs to know.

Answer 8

It depends what group of people you're with at the time. Feminists approve of women holding the power while more traditional groups approve of men holding the power.

Answer 9

I would like to think that both the man and woman could share power.

Answer 10

How about both having equal input. Who cares what's socially acceptable.