8 Months ago I watched my neighbor taken away in an ambulance bloody and beaten. And watched her loser boyfriend taken away in cuffs. He beat her with hammer and got her in the face and arms.
I tried to comfort her when she got back home but her stupidity made me want to aviod this dumb woman. All she talked about was how much she loved this loser and how sorry he was when he called collect from jail. To make this short she took him back.
Now she has 2 girls ( neither child is the abusers ) one is 8 the other is 11. They come to my house sometimes to play with my 3 year old son and visit. Occasionally I'll ask if everything is okay at home and if they are safe.
These poor girls watched their mom get hit with a hammer!!!
Yesterday the 11 year old came over and asked to talk to me. She proceeded to tell me her mom is getting beat again by her boyfriend.
Now i don't care about their mother I care about them. They don't need to see that abuse. Should I call CPS?
2007-12-28 01:45:24 · 19 answers · asked by USMCgrlandMommy 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Starlight- i was in foster homes all my childhood. I would rather have them have some semi-normality then see a mother get abused by a man who she lets abuse her.
2007-12-28 02:00:39 · update #1
Vegan-
I tried tot alk to her recently about why she would let this happen and risk it happending again. But there is no talking to her. Every answer is
"i love him" and " the girls need to mind their own buisness about my life". She has no care for her own children.
2007-12-28 02:03:22 · update #2
Hi USMC
The situation you've outlined is a bad one yes. The truth of the matter is that if there was such an assault involving ambulances and hospitalization, then the police would have been notified. No doubt that they would have called protective services had they felt there was a need. In fact, they may have already consulted with CPS, and you would never know.
The bottom line is that unless you witness actual abuse or evidence thereof, you really don't have a case for reporting. I understand your concern for the girls. Try to be a friend and give them an open and honest ear to turn to when they need to talk.
Hopefully, if things are happening behind closed doors, they will feel safe enough with you to tell you, at which time you can act.
I will point out that children have an incredibly good radar for this kind of thing though and your 'subtle' probing may well have them clam up for fear of reprisals from their parents.
It's important to understand that children will often cling to an abusive situation rather than face the rejection and wrath of parents by reporting.
Be gentle, supportive and receptive to the children. Talk to them about anything they wish in an open manner. If nothing else, you may provide a safe haven for a short reprieve when they need it. That goes a long way.
Cheers ~ Peps
2007-12-28 01:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by Peps 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My first instinct as a mother and a human is to say yes. No child should have to live in a situation like that when there are couples with genuine, loving hearts who will take them. Even though you don't care as much for the mother, are you on friendly terms? Could you talk to her about this? Any mother with a heart would not want her children taken away, even if it's for better. However, if you could talk to her first, or maybe somebody from CPS, it would be better than to just have the kids yanked away. For that matter, if it were to happen, then maybe the girls should also be spoken with.
I do not know how CPS works. By the grace of God, I've not had to. I do know that no child should be in a bad situation if there is an alternative.
2007-12-28 01:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by Vegan_Mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh God I hate this kind of junk! Being as you are in the military could you get the idiot drunk and send him out to the flight line and let him cross the red line!!! Now that relieves some stress for my next step here.
Ok I don't agree with CPS and the way they handle things. I also don't agree with these little girls in harms way. You are in the best position to decide this, not me. If you think it is the right thing to do then drop the nickel and hope for the best! Try to keep in contact with those girls if you can. Best wishes!
2007-12-28 02:17:55 · answer #3 · answered by Free Thinker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would- and I would also call the police, the next time these children come over and appear to have been abused. Just witnessing abuse is considered to be traumatic and abusive in itself, so you are perfectly justified in reporting it. Besides, if you don't help these children's mother, one of these days she's going to wind up in the morgue- and the kids will end up in foster care. Is that what you want? Think about it.
2007-12-28 01:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by Starlight 1 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's time to get involved, report what you are seeing and what you have been told is happening. the fact that there is already a police report on file can go to back up your claims.
It's very obvious she doesn't care about the girls by her response about them needing to mind their own business.
If he is beating on her then he'll soon be beating on them.
2007-12-28 04:10:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i would im surprised the police didnt look into it i mean come on she was beaten with a hammer! well yes you should you can call in anonymously and i would have protection just in case he finds out it was you some how. the wife is just afraid to leave him and she needs help to get away form him. im glad you care~
2007-12-28 01:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can call them or a battered woman's helpline. Even Adult Protective Services. That guy is so crazy he might JUST hurt the kids, so it would be best if you call CPS for the safety of the woman & her kids.
2007-12-28 02:27:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes call them and tell them to come to your house when the girls are over so they can talk to them with out the parent knowing. its not the fact thay your trying to hide it from their mother but you dont want her to take an influence on them when they are talking to the children
for example you dont want the mother to be shaking her head in the background when the girls get asked a question that their mother does not when to tell them
but yess cal them right away. you dont want the children to get hurt or for them to be seeing this
2007-12-28 01:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by sarah♥♥♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should this is emotional abuse for the girls. You may also want the call to be anonymous so the girls do not get mad at you.
2007-12-28 02:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by #6 Due in Sep :) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes you should call. These children need to be somewhere safe. They don't need to watch their mother get beat. Who knows? What if they end up seeing their mother's death. I wouldn't want these kids to do something wrong (even something little) and have them getting hit by him.
Again, yes. You should call CPS.
Good Luck. =)
2007-12-28 01:54:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋