How did you cope meeting your inlaws?
2007-12-28 01:12:51 · 30 answers · asked by Ginny Jin 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is Japanese and I was living in Japan when I first met the in-laws. He took me home to meet his mum, but didn't tell me that a) she didn't know anything about me and b) she wasn't expecting any visitors! Talk about awkward - she could barely talk, and when he left the room she asked me if it was a joke that I was his girlfirend!
2007-12-28 01:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by anchan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't need your "nationality" question! Go with the in-laws question.
Your in-laws are just people. Yes, because of their background they may do different things than you but so does everyone. How do you cope with people?
Treat them as you would anyone else. It doesn't matter if they're your in-laws or not. Treat them with kindness, respect, and patience.
The only difference is that your spouse may want to keep a close relationship with them because he/she values that relationship. Therefore, support your spouse and maybe try to find some value with your relationship with them as well.
P.S. My wife and I are both different in nationality (Canadian & American).
Good luck.
2007-12-28 01:28:22 · answer #2 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm engaged to someone of a different nationality (I'm US-American, he's German.) I met the in-laws over the phone on Christmas Eve & will meet them in person next week. They were even shyer than I was, and his mom was very worried about her ability to speak English and didn't even expect me to speak German (though I do, a little). His dad speaks no English at all. All in all, it was less intimidating than I expected it to be - just be nice, be yourself, and make an effort to speak the language if you can (assuming the "different nationality" you're referring to isn't English or Australian or something!)
Good luck!
@ Anna - and that has what to do with nationality? We're both Caucasian too. Nationality means the country you come from, not your race.
2007-12-28 01:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mich 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, and I have lots of friends who are also married to someone of different nationality or race.
Coping with the in laws or people in general are the same irregardless of colour, race or creed. The basic rules are respects for each individual and taking a general interest of them as a person rather than as an in laws. Finding a common ground and interest is important to build a solid foundation for your relationship with them. Understanding and accepting the differences in cultures are also very important and it works both way.
My in laws thinks the world of me and often compares me to their other children's in law who are of the same race and nationality (much to the dismay of the others who obviously was not too pleased to hear praises heaps on me rather than them).
All I did was just be myself but I was mindful over the culture differences and was respectful towards these differences (so that I do not stab myself on my toes out of ignorance). In time, they see me as who I am and accept me in the family. Most importantly they love me because of my love for my partner and that was more important to my in laws than the colour of my skin.
2007-12-28 01:43:16 · answer #4 · answered by Evofirst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I am mostly French and a practicing Native American spiritualist. My Dear Wife is mostly Irish and a practicing Pagan. In Laws both says think it is great and we all get along. BTW, both families are lfe long learners and enjoy the differences of the cultures.
2007-12-28 01:27:38 · answer #5 · answered by bootsontheroad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'm American and my wife is German...
I just approached meeting my inlaws like a job interview.
Smile(alot), make eye contact, and act interested in the
conversation.
2007-12-28 01:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by Lou L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be marrying a Brit in May - I'm Canadian. HTB's parents came here when we just started dating so it wasn't a big deal. It is kind of funny though, we both speak English but we had a bit of trouble with the language barrier.
2007-12-28 01:34:49 · answer #7 · answered by Angela O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Italian, she's Irish... both white, but when she met my God Father... who is a big honkin' d~go, he told her that if it were 50 years ago this wouldn't be happening... I guess Italians and Irish didn't get along all that great back then... oh well, we're awesome together... and our Italian/Irish kids rock. Her mom gets the hugest kick out of the seriously Italian names on her grandsons..
2007-12-28 01:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by blujello 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is puerto rican and i am irish/dutch/french/german so his customs are wayyyy different...it was awkward at first but the key isa to open up and be yourself....dont put on a fake show to try and impress them...respect what they do and believe in and make the best of it... they will accept you for respecting them.
2007-12-28 01:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by Life....it blows! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES !
I'm Persian (Aryan-Middle Eastern) and my fiance is Dominican (Hispanic).
We do great because we both respect on anothers differences in culture and appreciate the differences~
I haven't met his parents yet as they live on the island but he has met mine and the bottom line is: It's YOUR LIFE.
Good Luck to You!
2007-12-28 01:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by HotJewels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋