Have you went through a divorce with children?

Question

I am going to be going to court soon and will be representing myself, got any helpful infromation.

I know sometimes I will get answers people think are funny, I have a sense of hummor but please, I could use any real help. Trying to make this easy for my kids.

Could not afford an attorney or get the help of a public defender.

Answer 1

do your home work and present your side as clear and uncomplicated as you can,be extra polite to the judge always call him sir or your honor, this is a bitter divorce isnt it, so remember dont talk to your husband never lose your cool, what you want to be doing is projecting that image of a level headed mother who is only thinking of the welfare of the children!
Tell it how it is, when you are accused of some thing you dont like by your husbands brief, dont let them goad you in to anger, you can deny some thing but dont react!
judges are not stupid they are fair they know when some one is taking them for a ride, politeness goes along long way, now go to it with confidence tracy, you will get a good result,I beleive you will with out adoubt , good luck anthony pearson

Answer 2

I have a 3 and 4 year old and just went through a divorce (December 17th, 2007). Are you two agreeing on divorce issues? Dates and times of custody, custody payments and amounts, property, etc? If so, I think it is very possible to represent yourself in court. Search the internet for "typical" divorce papers and go from there. If you are not agreeing to issues then it will be a very difficult thing to do.

With any papers you receive from HIM, read read and read again. If you don't understand something....ASK! Do not sign any papers if you don't understand them or agree. Especially if he has a lawyer.

Good luck!

Answer 3

unless you are a lawyer I wouldn't represent myself. Go get an attorney or a public defender. You may walk out with nothing, but the panties on your back. Is this a bitter divorce? I hope not good luck.

Answer 4

Divorce should be only done if there is major reasons such as Abusive spouse - cheating, if you divorcing beacuse well your just not happy, you will not have a good day in court, unless you 2 dont try and take away that which will help provide for the children. Remember, the children if age enough will be hurting more than you. I wish adults would take a child like sprit into things instead of a slash and gash mentality most adults have.

Answer 5

I can only give yu the problems that arose from my point of view. At first my exhusband demanded that he see the children whenever he wanted, which was very disruptive to our lives and routines. He was a dreadful parent, we broke up because he coulnd't cope with them. But he sought to control me by invading our lives whenever he felt like it. If I got divorced again I would enforce a proper routine, in court. After a while he never bothered with the children at all, and I was reduced to begging and pleading that he visit his own children.
Check your maintenance - it must be paid by a certain day and into a bank account. Make it as formal as you can. Never believe him when he says he will always put his kids first - most men in my experience, don't see maintenance as an obligation. They see it as a gift from the goodness of their hearts, which they can withold whenever they want.
So basically, formalise contact and access. Agree to holidays, etc etc. And maintenance.

Answer 6

17 and 12 yrs of age..they were at the time of my split and now 9 yrs later divorced. You sound like you are going throught a rough one. My did hit some rough edges..but not for too long. We got out of it and I am pleased to say he is a good friend today.

During my divorce I simply asked for what all ex mom's ask for; support, communication and emotional contact with children..REGARDLESS..No drama with women and if any so..be prepare to face the consequences..

Have lots of positive energy, faith in God and love your self and children for doing the right thing. My Children came first and I handle the rest day by day with a lot of ENERGY and good ones...

Answer 7

Well it depends on how well you & your husband gets along. If you are going to argue over items & what times & days to see the kids then its going to be a long process. If you both agree on everything then its pretty simple. Oh yea if he has a lawyer then you may want to get one yourself. Neither one of us had an attorny.
My divorce was going to be simple because we both agreed on everything & then she shows up for court pregnant by another man. So it got delayed until her child was born then I had to take a DNA test to prove the child was not mine.

Answer 8

If you have children you should try to work it out. They will not be okay...no matter what the world says....you should talk to a good pastor and get marriage counseling. In our day in age it is no big deal to get divorced...it is not biblical. When you have children it is selfish to worry how they will feel after you two are divorced. Of course this is going to affect them........Please understand for the rest of thier life. Most problems can not be resolved becuase of pride.

Answer 9

Very simple- you both messed up your marriage and now your kids are having to live in this situation. Whose to blame? Does it even matter? Your kids deserve to be finished with witnessing the arguing and fighting that brought you to this. Remember that- I wish I had not be so damned concerned with winning the fight, my kids had to watch all that and I know it hurt them- It changes who they are inside. My ex and I do not speak to this day, 7 yrs later, the kids are 17 and 20 and much happier. Good Luck.

As far as going to court without a lawyer- why in the world would you even consider that? The lawyer is paid out of the community money- so that shouldn't be an issue. I would not go to court without a pro beside me.
I found hiring a beautiful, very nice, almost sexy lawyer worked well - the ex was on his best behavior. (He always was so predictable)

Answer 10

Im a child im 13 my parents divorced when i was 5 1/2 it will hurt the children if they have a specific bond with the father