I always was thinking it is so easy to forgive.But now when i must forgive someone who hurt me so much i just can't.I am trying and trying,reading the bible,thinking about that God wants us to forgive our enemy ,but every time when i remember what that person has done to me i hate him more and more.I want to delete him from my memory and everything whats happened but it is impossible.
2007-12-28 00:20:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i know it's not easy to forgive when the pain and hurt you feel is so overwhelming.
i have heard everything happens for a reason, those reasons may not always be clear to us for a long time. sometimes never.
i believe once we do get past the "how we are feeling" we finally earn some peace within. it is truly through God that we make this journey of personal growth.
"and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us"
http://www.acts17-11.com/forgive.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness
2007-12-28 04:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by Cymbaline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must pray for God to soften your heart so you can forgive. If you do not forgive, you are giving this person power over you and you remain a victim. Empower yourself with forgiveness, that way you take back the control this person has over you, and you can begin to heal.
Sometimes it seems as if people's actions are unforgiveable, and he probably hasn't asked for your forgiveness, but you must forgive anyway. It is very difficult to do, but all God wants is a willing heart. Ask for a willing heart, and eventually, you will feel better.
Also, every time you think of him, just put a stop sign in your mind and concentrate on your own happiness. I wish you all the best and most of all, I wish you peace.
2007-12-28 08:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by Kimmy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me. I prayed to forgive the person also because it kept weighing me down. Time is all I can credit if you don't believe in God (which I do however) and it still took 7 long years for me to realize that heavy burden was finally lifted. Just keep living and praying (yearning) to forgive and one day it will happen. If you are never able, it is better that you at least wanted to. And if you are able to forgive, it is marvelous and something you will always remember. Forgiveness is more powerful than the evil that was done to you.
2007-12-28 08:34:12 · answer #3 · answered by Dovey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual PROCESS of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake.
It will not be immediate, nor will you forgive solely because your spiritual beliefs tell you you should. It is normal to resent the person who has done you wrong--you cannot in the blink of an eye stop being angry about it.
It will take time, period. Longer if the wrong was deliberate. We must not let the experience eat away at our conscience, we must not plan revenge, we must not wish ill on the wrongdoer, we must not let the wrong grow into a monster--that is forgiveness. Try to understand the person's reasoning for doing what they did--not look for excuses or justification for them, but the reason. Hope that one day they will see their error. But do not allow them another opportunity to wrong you again.
2007-12-28 09:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by BillyTheKid 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you continue to think so much about this one person and the bad things he did to you, a lot of time and energy goes into this, leaving little of these valuable resources for other, more positive pursuits. To forget what he did is not possible, but if you choose to forgive and move on, then you can focus on other more positive people, thoughts and activities. Negative and bitter thoughts make you that way, and do you want to project those thought out to the world? Good luck!
2007-12-28 08:36:18 · answer #5 · answered by Jeanne M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its very difficult to forgive . Sometimes you tell yourself you have forgiven that person who hurt you but you find out you haven't. Its best to tell the person in the face that they hurt you and you are working on forgiving them. You can't erase everything because it is impossible. The best way is to Pray and ask God to help you deal with the whole thing
2007-12-28 08:39:08 · answer #6 · answered by kuki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you have a computer so my suggestion won't be hard to do. When I have negative feelings come up concerning someone, instead of giving them free rent in my head, I write them an unsent letter. This is a letter to them saying everything I want to say them, what they did to me that made me feel the way I do and then I just let go of the situation. You are the only one losing sleep over whatever whoever did. That is what I mean about giving them free rent in your head. Unsent letters have worked wonders for me. Good Luck.
2007-12-29 16:56:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mel M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you have to do before anything else, is let it go. To dwell on the pain means re-living it. It takes time and effort, but believe me, its well worth it in the end.
And remember, forgiving doesn't mean you forget. It means he no longer can hurt you.
2007-12-28 09:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What if YOU had done this thing?
Would you want the person YOU hurt struggling weeks, months, or years to forgive YOU?????
Would you feel 'released' if they forgave YOU???
Just like you would feel the release if you needed forgiveness, you must forgive this person also for what they did.
Be not deceived, God is not mocked, whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
You do not have the right to hold on to hurt, pain, and misery.
Let it go
and let this other person go.
It could have been you.....
2007-12-31 11:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask God for the strength/the grace; you can't do that on your own.
Happy New Year!!
2007-12-28 08:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋