How do you feel when you mail a friend and they?

Question

...answer talking only about themselves, not commending on your letter, not answering some questions you have probably made, not really responding to your text. As if they have not really read your mail, as if they couldn't care less about it!! They just answer to be "polite".

How do you react to such behaviour?? Do you tell them, do you do the same to their next mail or you just ignore the whole matter?

Answer 1

I stop mailing them.

I have a friend like this and she only wants to talk about herself - boast, really. No questions about my life and no acknowledgment when I talk about what I'm up to. She uses everything I say to turn it into something about herself. I care about her but it's too much work to put up with her. And darn it, she's moving closer to me soon :)

Good question :)

Answer 2

It depends on the nature of the letter. There are times when I e'mail a friend with a lot of things to say and a few direct questions throw in. These are questions which I would like answered, so when the other person doesn't acknowledge them at all, I feel like they overlooked them. I don't allow myself to feel as if they didn't care, because I don't know what they were doing when responding. E'mail is especially bad like this because we type them, send them and reply to them very often at moments when we should be getting out the door to go to work, or getting out the door to head home, or getting into bed for the night.

I can't say what my reaction would be. So far, I have been discerning enough in my acceptance of friendship that I don't have any friends who mail me this way.

Since I know this would bother me, I make sure that I don't make the same mistake. I often comment on a friend's e'mail from the bottom up, and some issues on which they spent a couple of paragraphs, if I don't have anything to say, I at least say "that was interesting" or "I really understand how you feel."

If I were your friend doing that, I would want you to tell me, in a nice way. If I were receiving these kinds of letters however, I would probably ignore it and let the friend just fade away, sadly.

Now when it comes to actualy handwritten letters, I don't receive any. I have written quite a few, but I don't get replies. I guess it's just too much work for people today.

Answer 3

that behavior, unfortunately, is all too common.

If it's an isolated incident, or something she just does once in a while, then you may want to indulge her or discuss it with her openly.

If this is just the way she is, then you won't be able to change her and she will end up stirring up all sorts of trouble in your life. That has been my experience anyway.

Answer 4

I would put them on the spot. You know... "So, why didn't you answer my questions?" That sort of thing. It makes me mad when they do that, especially if I asked something that I really want an answer to. Then again... I have you guys. =)

Answer 5

that happened to me once,and he would in the beginning answer my questions and then after that he would just talk about his problems and his life,i just stopped sending him e-mails,when you e-mail someone it is always polite to answer their questions as well!

Answer 6

mail them again, and point out what i really want to know. and hopefullu eventually make her realize that "i, me, and myself" kind of letter is lame.

Answer 7

Well, i don't like to be disregarded just like that, so i stop sending that friend a letter.

Answer 8

I usually say. thanks for the lovely letter, but you never answered my questions

Answer 9

i would rather they do that than not respond at all.

Answer 10

I ignore the whole matter


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Sweetie