Men, How often should I?

Question

deny your husband sex? They say you shouldn't give it to him every time he asks, but can't this backfire? When do you deny, so it benefits the both of you (strengthens the desire to have relations with each other/a good tease?)
We're young, early 20's. I want to do anything I can to keep the relationship strong

Answer 1

I have been with my husband over 10 years, and married 9. And we have an incredible marriage. And the only time I ever tell him no, is when I'm sick, or its that time of the month. And sex with us has never felt like a chore, nor have I felt like I "have" to give him sex. It is because I want to also, because I love him, and am attracted to him, and he is an incredible lover. And it isn't just about the actual physical part of sex, it is also the emotional connection, and the intimacy, and just being close to each other.
You have a twisted view on marriage and sex. You don't use sex as a means of control. And sex isn't what keeps a marriage strong. But playing games, and denying your husband, for some silly and ridiculous idea that it will make your relationship stronger, will sooner or later destroy your relationship. You tell him no enough, he will start to think you are not that attracted to him.

Answer 2

What strengthens a relationship is constant, open,
and honest communication and understanding
(empathy) for each other...not the periodic denial
of sex.
If you have a healthy emotional and physical rela-
tionship with your husband, then you both can play-
fully deny each other, like teasing, for example.

See how long you both can stand teasing each
other, before you or he want sex.
* Do a strip tease for him, but no sex.
* Have him perform foreplay on you and get you
good and turned on. Then he should walk away
and leave you begging for it. I do this to my wife
sometimes.

Use your imagination. You can't have sex everytime he wants it...or everytime you want it,
but playfully denying each other can create a sense of intimacy and closeness that contributes
to a strong relationship. Just have fun while doing
it.
Denial can be a beautiful thing ;)

Answer 3

I am not a male but I think that it is best to never deny your husband because when you start denying them, they start thinking that you are probably doing something else or with someone else that gives you want he doesn't. It might also cause him to search for sexual pleasures outside of the marriage and that is something you wouldn't want, right? Mainly, to keep a strong relationship, your job is to respect him as a man than he is, give him what he wants, let him know how much your appreciate the things he does for you, let him know that you love him, talk about both of your favorite memories together, and most importantly is his stomach. Like they all say, "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach". You shouldn't cook the same thing every SINGLE night, switch it up every other day or so. They tend to get tired of eating the same things over and over again. On special nights/occasions, dress up in a sexy lingerie or something and show him how much you appreciate him. This should keep your relationship long. Hope this helps you out a bit. Good luck.

Answer 4

This is funny because I just started a post on how my girlfriend is denying me sex.

Do what you feel like, just don't get him turn on and then stop. This is very annoying and he is your husband. I guess it is ok to day no sometimes. Just not too much to the point where he feel bad about himself.

Yes, it can back fire on your if you keep playing these little game. He would think of many things that is going wrong and might take it the wrong way. He might end up finding another woman. It is never good to play mind games.

Answer 5

When you both have that feeling,or you/him are in the mood!If you or him is doing something that takes away from having sex,that's understandable.I'm not saying that sex is the only way of showing what he feels for you but to just say no will come back to haunt you later.If you don't want to have sex,then in a playful way tell him ah little later.This wont hurt him and it will keep him guessing when.Your both young and in time you 2 will find out things about each other,so it's hit or miss.Have fun doing so.

Answer 6

Why in the world would you be playing games STILL? If you are married, have sex anytime you or he wants. Why in the world would you deny him? Who are THEY??????? do you have the verizon network outside your door saying - deny, deny, deny...... what is that? If you want to have sex with your husband, don't deny for some crazy reason you read in a magazine. It's not Heath to play games with your relationship. If he wants sex, he should be secure in the relationship enough to go for it without worrying that you are going to put up the deny flag because THEY say so. Good luck.......

Answer 7

u should never deny but at the same time u have judge whether ur husband wants true love or just physical sexual desire. there is hell of difference between the two. U can do any damn thing to make ur relationship strong in love sex but not otherwise.

Answer 8

in many cases where a man cheats, sex is a big reason behind it. either his partner will not do something he wants or doesnt satisfy him so he goes looking for someone that will. this isnt always the case, but from reading and watching a lot of relationship shows and such, i often see it given as a reason. the partner with the higher drive may endure being denied at first, but over time it will wear them down if you leave them feeling needy, and they will be more likely to cheat in my mind. Paul tells us to take care of one another's needs. a husband is supposed to take care of his wife's needs, and that would include things like attention, intimacy and affections, and a wife should meet her husband's as long as those needs arent sinful in some way. it is written we should never deny one another, except for a short time by agreement for fasting or prayer.

Answer 9

You should only have sex with your husband when you're also in the mood to have sex. To give in to him regardless of how you are feeling is to degrade yourself and your marriage. If you honestly think that denying him sex is going to backfire, you need to question what kind of man you married. Honestly, are you so sexually repressed that you only do it as a wifely duty that you worry about teasing him and pleasing him as a factor in your relationship? Wake up woman! You're a woman and you have needs.

As for keeping your relationship strong, unless your relationship is based on sex or your married to a sex fiend, keeping it strong has very little to do with sex. Men are people too and not that different from women unless your married to some traditionalist tool! Be his friend and his partner and when you're feeling randy, his lover.

Answer 10

I just don't get this. I for the life of me do not understand denying your partner sex. If you both want it why not do it? My wife of 11 years constantly denies me sex. She says she just isn't in the mood. It doesn't make me want her more. After all these years of constant rejection I am actually losing interest. I have grown tired of pining away for someone that doesn't want me. It's one thing if you aren't in the mood, it's another if you are turning your partner down because you want to make them want you more. It might work for a while, but eventually they will get sick of waiting.