my daughter is 2weeks old and ive only gotten 2 hours a sleep a night or less since shes been home...so im pretty much a zombie. my mom took her today and shes with her now..because my mom wanted me to get some rest...and my sister is taking her tommarow....i really like them helping me but it makes me feel like a bad mom...im the one that should be taking care of her right?
2007-12-26 21:28:34 · 31 answers · asked by britt h 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Do you know that if we lived, say 100 years ago, that would be pretty normal. It takes a village to raise a child and we would have lived in communities that would have supported us and helped us raise the children.
It's only in modern day society that women are made to feel like they have to 'do it all' on their own.
So no, don't feel bad, take all the help you can. It's normal and should be expected!
2007-12-26 22:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by Senseless acts of beauty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm a divorced, single mom now, but when I was married I felt like a single mom too! Not much has changed in my responsibilities between then and now, I'm still responsible for everything. My ex-husband made VERY little $ (yes I sure know how to pick'em) so I didn't feel much of a financial loss. The only thing I lossed was the stress of a bad relationship, so I think I have it easier now! Be happy you get to be a stay at home mom, it won't last forever, so enjoy it. Just think if you had to deal with all the responsibilities you do now AND hold down a full-time job!
2016-04-11 02:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't a bad mum, nobody from 2 hours sleep a night can keep going and going! You need your rest and your family are just helping you out. Once you've had some rest you will feel a lot better and able to look after her again! Let people help you as much as you need. You are not doing anything wrong! My friend had a baby 3 months ago and her family helped her a lot. Now luckily her son is in a pattern where he only wakes once a night. After a couple of months your baby will do the same and you will feel much better!
2007-12-26 21:39:22 · answer #3 · answered by megan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt exactly the same way when I had help with my newborn. No you are not being a bad Mom. Take the help now while you can get it. You have a lifetime of being a Mom ahead of you! I know how hard the first few months can be! Relax and get some sleep while they are taking care of the baby. You will feel like a new person after getting some sleep and the baby will sense it! You will be a better Mom!
2007-12-27 00:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by rivergirl939 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get off the computer and go to bed =)
It is really, really hard adjusting to the sleep deprivation w/ a new baby. Everything is 10x harder and you are even more emotional on top of it. 2 hours of sleep a night is normal w/a new one. That was what I was doing. My mom took mine overnight at 3 weeks. And again at 5, and then again at 8. She was loving it! We had colic that kicked in around 3 weeks, and peaked at 6 so I needed help and felt like I couldn't control my child.
If you have help available, USE IT! I am sure they were super excited to have the baby anyway! Go to sleep. Once you catch up get some things done around the house (laundry, dishes) only if you were able to sleep for several hours. I know everyone says leave the housework, but a messy house only added to my stress...
Hang in there, it gets easier.
2007-12-27 00:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very western idea that we have to do it alone. Most cultures don't have nuclear families. Either the male or female children continue to live with their parents and their spouses move in too. Or they live in villages where their families are literally steps away from them. In other cultures, moms get help from their moms, aunts, older children, and there are usually "bands" of similarly aged children who run around the village with one or two old women in charge of them. It's a lot like Western daycare except the children and caregivers are family.
Anyway, that was a very long way of saying, no. You shouldn't be taking care of your child *all* the time.
I went through the same guilt in my son's first few weeks of life. I never wanted anyone else to even hold him because I felt it had to be me and if not, I'd never bond with him. Now, I occasionally let my sister or mother in law babysit. He loves it and he still loves me. I'm probably away from him less than an hour a week on average, but I have learned to enjoy the time I am away. But honestly, that guilt will always be there in the corner of your brain. You'll always find something to stress and obsess about.
2007-12-27 00:24:20 · answer #6 · answered by Heather R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a newborn, you need help. Why isn't the father helping? Think of it this way, if you are not fully rested, how can you be a good mom? Let them help you for a few days, then you take the baby for a few days. Sooner than you think, you won't need their help that much. It just takes a little while to get into the swing of things. I am sure you are a great mom, if you weren't, would you be worried about it?
2007-12-26 21:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 2 month old son, and we went through the same thing. (actually still are to a point) Everyone has the same answer, and they are right. Sleep when you can. Family will help by taking her during the day so you can be up at night. I didn't understand the nurse when she asked me if there was anyone at home to help out when we left the hospital, but now I do. They aren't looking at you as a bad mother. They are looking at her as a granddaughter & niece and will do everything they can to help. p.s. the crying doesn't end....so it helps to pass the baby off to keep your sanity.
2007-12-27 00:41:23 · answer #8 · answered by ATHEIST 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't feel bad, take all the help you are offered !! Seriously, its a tough time when you've just had a baby and your hormones are all over the place and you're dealing with sleep deprivation too. You are lucky to have supportive family and they probably feel blessed that you trust them to look after baby. You need to take care of yourself too and don't for one moment feel that you are a bad mom, you're not. These are still very early days for you and your body has a lot of adjusting to do. Enjoy those precious moments but dont let the guilt factor spoil anything for you. Take care x
2007-12-26 21:35:38 · answer #9 · answered by J J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
appreciate the help u have gotten dont feel bad use this time wisely and sleep lady dont post on yahoo answers dont worry u got the next 18 years of ur life to take care of even more if she becomes a bum :) u prolly feel a lil separation anxiety so just take a bubble bath and rest she'll be back to keep u sleep deprived in a couple of days
2007-12-26 21:34:32 · answer #10 · answered by johnny b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋