2007-12-26 19:18:40 · 14 answers · asked by TT 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Agree and disagree. An affair can ruin a marriage if both partners choose to allow it to, but is not the root cause of marital problems. Nine times out of ten, most people who have an affair come to realize the grass is not greener on the other side. If a marriage is new, and a partner goes out and has an affair, even a one night stand, that speaks to their values never exposed prior to going into the marriage and it would make sense for both parties to sign out and move on with their separate lives. In that case, I would say ending the marriage even though devastating, would probably be a blessing for the partner who didn't have the affair. It would provide them the opportunity to meet someone who was open as to who they are. An affair very early on in marriage like that would be no reflection on the loyal spouse, only testament to the other partner being false, a misrepresentation of themselves, a really powerful form of deceit. I would agree in that case, get out while one can.
For partners who have spent many long years together, an affair can be just as devastating, but so can ending a marriage over it. It really depends on the strength of each partner, their overall commitment to each other in all regards and the life they've built together. Perhaps counseling would help. Trust is a hard thing to rebuild, but depending on the maturity levels of those involved, their ability to forgive, talk openly, and intellectually "see" the situation, not just emotionally feel the betrayal, it is possible for trust to be regained. It might be at a different level, but it is possible and takes allot of committed hard work on both parts. An affair is an extremely difficult crisis for anyone to endure and get over. I am not sure it's possible for the partner on the receiving end of such news to ever get over without also being willing to work on themselves too, in order to rid themselves of self-doubt. But it is possible to continue to grow in life with a partner, both just need to choose a more suitable path to follow. In a long term marriage, I would disagree that running out to get a divorce over an affair be the first course of action. It might end up that way, but I don't think an affair would be what decides that ultimately.
2007-12-26 20:02:27 · answer #1 · answered by PianoFan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you give a little more info to go on...the question is open to interpretation. So, this is only my response to my interpretation.
I think that one person having an affair towards the end of a rocky marriage and the other person leaving when they find out ... I think it is a very sad thing...why not just wait until you were out of the marriage. Why hurt somebody you loved enough to marry ...a betrayal for the road? Make sure the other person has trust issues in future relationships? It's not a nice thing to do. It is not a nice way (if there is one) for a marriage to end.
2007-12-26 19:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont agree with the statement that an affair is no way to end a marriage? dah!!!!, if any of the couple will be having an affair then it would be unffair for the other, for me it would be leading to the end of a marriage, for why cant you just stick it out with your partner....that is the trouble with marriage now a days you simply cant resist temptation that hurts the other or both or all of you....its going to be the END period final finish for me of the MARRIAGE
2007-12-26 19:23:46 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy_drinker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disagree
2007-12-26 19:22:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes an affair is the only way to save a marriage, if your sexual needs are not being met within your marriage,and you don't want to your marriage to go on the rocks, due to children, an ongoing affair is the only way to fly. And this apples to Husband and Wife who find themselves in the same boat.
2007-12-26 19:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by Doug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mature way is to end a marriage and then look for what you want!! Don't go sneaking around--or buy into a seduction. If your marriage is inadequate, then decide whether or not you want to stay in it--make it better, or whatever! BUT don't fall for a "side line" affair!!
2007-12-27 14:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree, all three people involved gets hurt first unlike when a marriage is ended when both/one doesn't feel the spark anymore.
2007-12-26 19:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by Blindness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think is absolutely horrible, If you no longer want to be with that person at least wait to date someone else until you are divorced. Cheating on someone can cause the person who was cheated on so many problems and left with so many questions like "what did I do" or was it because I didn't do this or that. That is cruel and could really ruin someone else's self-esteem!
2007-12-26 19:28:15 · answer #8 · answered by KlonopinQueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strange logic, if you are having problems why would you not choose to resolve them before having a affair.
2007-12-26 20:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by All-One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disagree. It is very difficult to continue living with someone who cheats on you or deceives you. Trust is something which once lost can never be restored.
2007-12-26 19:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by azurewaters1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋