we are so different in alot of things like things we like to do
2007-12-26 19:04:44 · 18 answers · asked by bigballa8319 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
opposite attracts, other wise there is no sparks!
2007-12-26 19:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is all stuff you should have known before you got married. If you knew it then and it wasn't a problem then your vows embodied your differences when you committed. If it's a problem now you should communicate and afflictively come up with a solution or compromise.
If he likes surfing and you don't, you could still go to the beach with him and at least sorta participate just by being there..... and it's a great way to just spend some time outdoors.
If you like gardening and he doesn't then you could garden maybe while he grills, and then have a nice dinner together... you don't necessarily have to do the same things, sometimes just having them around doing a different activity can be nice.
You 2 are allowed to have different interests and should be able to do them together or alone.
2007-12-27 03:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by My cat drinks bong water 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must have some things in common or why did you get married in the first place? It's ok not to like all the same things, that would be boring. When you are married, you aren't supposed to be joined at the hip and spent every single minute together. It's healthy to each have your own interests. At least you'll have something to talk about.
If you love each other, you'll work it out.
2007-12-27 03:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been together for 10 years we don't share many of the same interests and are fine with that.Its healthy to have individual likes and dislikes and hobbies and such it helps keep us independant in a way.It helps to keep us from suffocating each other.
However we do have some things we enjoy with each other a good glass of wine and a movie and no we don't always like the same type of movies so he picks and then I pick.
Being different is what brought us together and what keeps us together.If we were too much alike and did alot of the same things we would end up smothering each other.Spending too much time with each other would work our nerves but there's a happy balance to be found.For instance he's in a bowling league for his job he goes and bowls for several hours every thursday.I'm not really into that so every thursday my lil girl and I go out to eat and hang with each other.After she's been bathed and put to bed hubby&I sit down together and watch some DVR show's.
Balance is so hard to maintain in a HAPPY relationship but a happy relationship for me is not having to cater to him 24/7 or him to me.Its not making him my whole world but apart of MY world and I his.I couldn't handle him under my butt all the time it would drive me insane and vice versa I imagine...
Find your balance find and do the small things that make you both happy be it a simple game of Scrabble with a glass of wine or out to dinner and a movie one of you chooses where to eat the other gets to choose the movie.Have that date night set up so that even if you two are so different you find time to FEEL the same in your and about your relationship...
Hope That Helps,
M.G
2007-12-27 03:15:45 · answer #4 · answered by Malia G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People may say that opposites attract, but the happiest marriage are those between people who have similar backgrounds, interests, goals etc. Some opposites that are married just exist with different interests with their common interest being raising their family. You and your husband may need to learn from each other, taking an active role in each other's hobbies, or you could agree to participate in a new one that you could both enjoy.
2007-12-27 03:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We enjoy doing the things we both like together, and we enjoy doing the things that we don't share independently.
It has to do with trust and wanting for your mate those things which will foster their happiness. The freedom to pursue your own interests AND have a partner is a wonderful thing.
Just be sure to show them how much you love them on a regular basis! Connect where you can and enjoy each other's company when you do.
2007-12-27 03:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by Shades of Grey♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about the things you don't have in common, focus on the things you enjoy doing together. What attracted you to him? My husband and I are different in many ways, but I don't care we compromise and work between our differences.
You don't want everything to be the same between you and your mate, that can get boring and frustrating. The differences keep things interesting sometimes....
2007-12-27 03:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by Love Angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've lived with this for years. I have to agree with the previous answers. you should have known ahead of time the kind of person he was. If you have a loving and trusting husband, he'll accept you for who you are and respect your differences and not put you down for them. find the similarities, and enjoy them together. share your different interests but see if he'll let you do them independantly, depending on what they are. that way, he won't feel bored when you are trying to enjoy yourself. I could spend hours in a bookstore but that would just bore my husband, so I don't do it. (don't have the free time.) do take the time to do things on your own. if you just end up doing everything he wants to and nothing that you want to do, you'll just end up resenting him, blaming him for your unhappiness. hope this helps!
2007-12-27 03:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Liv 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look for your similarities. Do those things together. The things you like that are different, can be enjoyed by each on their own. As long as they don't interfere with the relationship.
2007-12-27 03:20:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You compromise. You go do something he enjoys then next time you do something you enjoy. It is part of marriage. No two souls who marry have everything in common. It is part of the hard work of marriage to find a middle ground that gives you both some of what you want.
2007-12-27 03:34:48 · answer #10 · answered by James Watkin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
opposites attract =] I'm not married but my boyfriend and i are complete opposites he's a hyperactive loud and outgoing, and confident person and I'm a laid-back quiet, shy, insecure girl. we get along so well he makes me come out of my shell lol if i had a bf that was quiet and shy who would make me laugh? I'd be so bored! threes gotta be something you both enjoy try cooking together or watching a comedy who doesn't like to laugh? and trying something new wouldn't hurt you might enjoy it.
2007-12-27 03:12:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋