why didnt he care?

Question

my husband and i are now separated due to many issues he has done. well to try and get him back i decided not to do the traditional bringing the kids to his mothers and have christmas dinner instead i let him stay be their alone with none of us we have 4 kids, and we went somewhere else to my aunts i thought this would hurt him but he didnt seem to care oh i spent christmas alone, and my kids went to my aunts not me. No one seemed to care that we didnt come this year not even his mother no one said we missed u at the gathering and my husband still seemed happy and fine why didnt they care my plan really back fired.

Answer 1

Maybe they saw right through your little charade. Of course his mother isn't going to tell you that! You're separated and that puts her in an akward position because her loyalty is always going to be for her son. If he let you know that what you did affected him and his family, than you would probably continue to play these games. Of course you wouldn't want to spend Christmas with his family after you separated, but it isn't about you when you have children. I suggest apologizing to him, his family, and your children for being selfish. If you do that, it would "affect" him a lot more. When my husband and I split, I tried to get his family to see my kids and they wouldn't. They haven't had anything to do with them in 4 yrs. I apologize if I seem mean, but it just burns me that you would use your kids to bother your ex. I know this is a stressful adjustment in your life, but you need to step up for the kids and be the better person. I know that you are hurting, but imagine what they are feeling (that is what a good parent does).

Answer 2

this is why GROWN ADULTS especially should not play mind games. it will always back fire, and no better for you. stop playing games and COMMUNICATE to that man how you feel about whats going with you and the marriage. if you cant forgive and forget than just leave him and the marriage alone and you both continue to go the separate ways. all marriages take some work and any problems are workable but both parties must be willing and committed to make the marriage work. IT TAKES TWO. so if he is making the same mistakes over and over again than he needs to go on with his life without you. at this point its all about the kids and they should be the focus now. GodBless

Answer 3

i think it depends on how long you have been seperated. If it is a recent seperation he might be a little relieved to be away from the problems in your relationship and a break from the kids is always nice. It is also a possibility that he is hiding the way he feels, because no one wants to tell another person that they seperated with that they are feeling miserable. You know what i mean? an ego trip of sorts... Also i bet your mother in law didnt say anything because its sort of an uncomfortable situation that she might want to avoid.. Let these things take their time.

Answer 4

Forget him. You cannot control him.

You should be concerned about yourself and why it is you are so shallow as to play such childish games.

Do you even know how badly your plan backfired? I bet you don't.

You tried to hurt him but in reality all you did was hurt your children by keeping them away from their father on Christmas... and for what?

Keep acting crazy lady. You will reap exactly what you sow while the rest of society will reap the benefits of your maladjusted children.

Nice going.

Answer 5

He doesn't care anymore becuase once you got married you destroyed what you had. Marriage destroys even soul mates!!! It has nothing to do with either of you or your circumstances it has to do with marriage!!! Learn your lesson and if you are ever lucky enough to be in love again don't destroy it by getting married!!!