ok, so my fiance and i have been together officially for a little less than a year. lately, he has been asking questions about my past, which i answer honestly. tonight we talk about an ex of mine. we officially stopped seeing each other 4years ago. i dont even live on the same coast as him nor do we have any contact with one another. my fiance is jealous because i told him that i have nothing bad to say about my ex. (which i dont, he was good to me, but we just werent for each other). my fiance feels like i love my ex more than him. what should i do?? please help. im ready to move back to my old city and call it quits.
2007-12-26 14:43:21 · 7 answers · asked by A. N. M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is the SAME way, he was all butt hurt when I didn't want to say bad things about my ex! I totally flipped out once and told him that I am a devoted and good wife and don't deserve to be treated like I have betrayed him. If he is not man enough to deal with my past then he is not man enough to be in my future!? I mean I was screaming and almost in tears, well he stopped after that. I told him to listen to himself and see how ridiculous he is being and how is putting in jeopardy a great relationship with a great woman. So I think you just need to put him in his place and tell him you feel disrespected and degraded.
Oh and one more thing, I told him that I never even think about my ex that HE is actually making me THINK about him, does he really want that? Does he really want you to remember the relationship constantly and re-live it, he should want you to forget about it and put it in your past.
2007-12-27 03:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, I know a lot of people are saying that they guy is insecure and no good. Okay, that's valid I guess. But I know first hand how jealous I get when my love talks about his ex-even though she wasn't all that good to him. Even worse when the ex *was* good and there is nothing bad to say. So yeah, that can be hard to deal with.
So what to do? Constant affirmation. Say "Honey, I am with you and want to marry you. Not that guy." Let him know the reasons that it didn't work out with you ex and how grateful you are that it is so perfect with him. Let him know that if your ex came back into your life right now, even if that condition that broke you up didn't exist, you would never go back to him because you just love your fiance so much.
If you truly love this person that help him get through this. Don't throw in the towel. Believe me, bigger issues than this will affect your married life. How much room are you willing to make for your partner's issues? Hopefully a lot-just like he would do for you.
Good luck.
2007-12-26 15:02:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe your fiance was fishing for an excuse to break up?
Do you know that discussing past relationships in detail (or at all) isn't even appropriate. I mean, whose business is it anyway? My past is private, relationships and sex life need not be discussed in the future... forGET that !
If you are with some guy who wants to whine about your ex, then ditch him.... I wouldn't be able to stand it, either.
And don't discuss your past relationships with men.
2007-12-26 14:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, sometimes the person has to deal with his own insecurities. there are times we cannot secure someone's else's insecurities. If you have done all that you can to reassure this person remember this same situation will bleed into your marriage. see if you can resolve this before marriage or this is going to be trouble for you on the horizon.
2007-12-26 14:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RED FLAGS
This guy is trouble.
If he is jealous of something that is 4 yrs old, just wait until you smile at the Bagger at the supermarket.
He is not rational and that is an early sign of BIG, BIG trouble. Please look at the Ann Lander's list of questions for potential abusers.
2007-12-26 14:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by Silly Silly Man 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him feel secure...It is a choice..and if he is insecure about an ex...whom you don't hate....I think you should reconsider marrying this man....
2007-12-26 14:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, sounds really immature.
2007-12-26 14:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by Dani Bosco 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋