You can tell in 5 seconds which married couples are no longer "in love". Actually I have only met 2 married couples that weren't lying and are truly in love the rest might care about each other but they are no longer in love. Counseling does not work!!! Marraige destroys even soul mates!!!
2007-12-26 14:23:10 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex loved the "facade" of the perfect life. Attractive, devoted wife. Great chidren, beautiful home, nice vacations. But then.. he had the "other life"
2007-12-26 14:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by Dani Bosco 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes that is true.. And then again, sometimes, one spouse loves the other with such a passion and it's not reciprocated. I agree that counseling is a game that is played by blame pushers and those who value rhetoric... But a soul mate... marriage can be that if you wish it to be. Rare, but perfect if you find it. Love is even better, nothing wrong with being in love... Love songs, love poems, movies about love. We get married thinking that it is all about the love and love will conquer all, romantic idealists... and then reality sinks in and facades fade away and when you dig deeper, you realize that you have a best friend, a confidante, a mind reader, a well wisher---- and most importantly, your spouse in true form. Marriage is hard, no doubt. Couples portray happiness because of Hope. They hope to be happy. Happiness comes in tiny glimpses, a few seconds here, a smile there. Take the scowl off your avatar, cuz I'd like to see you smile.
2007-12-26 14:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, since when did you become an expert on marriage?
The ONLY way counseling doesn't work is if you or your spouse or both of you are NOT willing to put into practice what you learn in counseling. The marriages out there that are not happy are the ones where 1 spouse or the other, or even both, become selfish and look at the relationship as what can I get out of the marriage, instead of what can I do to make our marriage better.
If you have a selfish attitude, your going to have an unhappy marriage.
I firmly believe that to have a happy marriage, you have to have a self-less marriage putting your spouse and their feelings and needs BEFORE your own.
Next time, instead of saying that all couples lie and say that they are not in love, I think you better do some research.
No marriage is going to be perfect, it takes alot of hard work and dedication to make a marriage work, and to make a happy marriage.
2007-12-26 16:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are different pahses of love. You don't have to "be in love" all the time to love the person you marry. The more years you are together the more comfortable you are with each other and the less the true love of the beggining is necessary. There are however many couples that are miserable but stay with each other rather than be alone.
2007-12-26 14:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the people who say that you cannot judge b y looking at a couple what they really feel for each other...maybe at that moment or a few before they had a fight or small spat and weren't talking to each other,... that doesn't mean that they don't love each other... there are many ways to show you love someone. marriage only strenghtens soulmates... true soulmates... it does not tear them apart... grow up and get over yourself.
2007-12-26 14:40:12 · answer #5 · answered by Baby girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes married couples have to claim they are
"happy" so as to let peace reign though they might not be "in love", especially if they are bless with children. i am one of the married couples i am not in love with my husband anymore at least for now but i care about his happiness and my children's happiness and i want them to be happy so i can have peace. Marriage to me is more than love.
2007-12-26 17:11:13 · answer #6 · answered by miller 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bitter, much? You cannot tell from looking at folks what goes on behind closed doors. Get over yourself!! There are so many ways to express love and devotion...don't assume you know them all or ANY of them , for that matter.
2007-12-26 14:27:25 · answer #7 · answered by that judi 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You really are jaded and that's sad.
I'm in love and have been for 32 years....to the same man.
Counseling helps a lot of people.
I don't believe in "soul-mates".
2007-12-26 14:34:27 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it is the easy way out.
And,
Sometimes denial is a displacement for hope. No one likes to break up a family unit.
2007-12-26 16:36:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all married couples lie about their happiness.
2007-12-26 14:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋