Do you think a couple can live together as room mates, just for the sake of the kids?

Question

I think you all thought I was the one going through this situation, but the reality is that I am dating someone that is actually living it. I have been dating him for 4 months. now and he never takes me around his/their place when she is around. I don't know what to think, he tells me there is nothing between them and that it is all because of the sake of the kids. I am very confused and am thinking of ending the relationship until he sorts out his life, on what he really needs and wants. Do you think I should leave it alone and move on or should I give him the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 1

well......i know some things can be hard, but i dont think you should just ditch him and leave him alone. i wish the best for you and the kids

luv ya

Answer 2

yes, i think it's possible. i wouldn't look at it as being for the kids but rather for the parent's. living together means that they get financial support, emotional support. it's easier to raise children when both parents are involved hands on. it also is a good idea for usually the mom to not feel alone and on their own. if the mom is happy then the kids are better off. even if the dad or other comes to help it's different then when the other parent comes to live with the parent who raises the kids. there is more of a stable structure. the kids and the parent who is raising the kids feel secure in what to expect from the other parent. him out of the house you have no idea when you can rely on him for anything, even if his intentions are good. the only way to truly have that is to have both parents living under the same roof.

if it's for the sake of the children only, then one or both parents can get bitter towards one other. arguments will happen. my point is if the parents are getting something out of this deal that is extremely helpful to each parent then it doesn't feel like you have compromised or just feel cornered into doing something you ultimately didn't want to do in the first place. even if it seemed like a good idea at the start.

this of coarse is advice for those who get along well, with the other parent. if you constantly argue all the time. then, no matter who it's for or for what it will of coarse will never work out.

hope this was helpful

so hope this was helpful

Answer 3

Yes, I think it's possible. But I'm not sure it's a good idea.

If you're thinking of living as "roommates," something's wrong.

The best person to decide if the wrong stuff can get to be the right stuff is you.

What you might consider is fixing what's wrong. If things don't get better, then the roomie thing can be an option, but it's not a very good option.

How to fix what's wrong is beyond the scope of this answer. Good luck in finding someone to help you fix what you need fixed. Try your church or try your doctor for a referral.

Be well ...

Answer 4

Do you mean get divorced but then live together as roommates-because no, this will only cause confusion for your kids.
Do you mean that you don't love your husband anymore but will stay together for the kids? Yes, this can work as long as you are both realistic and friendly about it. You are both adults and if you are mature and honest you can probably get along just fine until the youngest turns 18.
Under no account should you tell the kids (kids will internalize and think its their fault).

Good luck.

Answer 5

No. Sex is the way the Lord intended to bond a couple. The couple should start to work harder at pleasing the other partner and working harder at solving or compromising the problems. Turning to someone else may work, but there is no guarantee that life with someone else is going to be any better. My son thought he found someone who would be more "affectionate." What he found was a fake (over the Internet).

Answer 6

For one it's not in any way good for the kids. They're going to think that the way their parents are towards each other is how marriage is suppose to be. It would be healthier for them if they divorced. As long as they both stayed involved as much as possible in their childrens lives they'd be better off than what's going on now. As far as the relationship you have with him you have to sit down and talk to him about what's going on and tell him how you feel.

Answer 7

NO.....it never works well, you are or it seems ,always in conflict about the most mundane things ....and then try to meet or even worse actually meet someone...or your partner does...bullshit hassles that the children dont need.....for the sake of the children live apart , it hurts more but you and the other parent will be happier,saner,and your children will love you more.

Answer 8

I am doing this right now , with the hope that my wife will come back to me emotionally .The kids are aware that something isn't right. I know they need us both to be there for them. So I am hoping through our mutual love for our kids , and me giving her space ,going to a marriage councilor,and doing all the right things , she will become my wife again and not my house mate ( as we don't even share a room anymore.)

Answer 9

Yes it is possible as long as there are clear cut rules on visitors of the opposite sex and parenting. I have seen many people that can co habitate a home without actually being a "couple"

Answer 10

Not for long there will be sexual tension and it will only get worse until you split or give in. This is not going to set a good example for your kids. Best living arrangement is a little piece of paper called a Marriage license.

Answer 11

Sweetie it happens all the time..the name of that game is called "It's cheaper to keep her"".I would think to myself "how would it really effect the children"?.people think kids are dumb.in fact this is the stage where the most learning and observing takes place.I think you need too be real with yourself and the children.Staying together only prolongs the inevitable..

wisdom is key.use it,trust,learn from it..