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Briefly...I've been married for a little over 3 years, he's super nice, great, wonderful guy, and we have love for each other, but not the romantic kind, no sparks, no special feelings. I don't think this should have disappeared within the first 3 years, so I'm slightly worried already. Then take into account our lack of 'intimacy' as in ...months... whether it's him putting it off or me, etc... one of us is putting each other off, and for the last few months it's been me because I am just not into him in 'that way' right now...
I feel weird, horrible, weird, etc... :(

Then take into account I am a notorious flirt. OMG you have no idea. It's worse if I drink, and I only drink socially.
He doesn't like to go out, he doesn't like crowds, he likes to stay home...WHEN he does come out, and I do have a few drinks, etc..I end up flirting sometimes, and he'll see me, and he'll say, 'I wish you would rub up on me like that...' and I do feel bad, but I just don't have feel that way now..

2007-12-26 13:30:17 · 14 answers · asked by Antara2 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

14 answers

Okay, so you are brother and sister with occasional incest. Maybe you should talk to him about an open marriage. Some will say counselling would help but not usually in this type of situation. Would he care if you cheated? How far did your flirting take you before you were married? From what you have said it looks like you two are just not a good mix. You could be business partners but a marriage has to have intimacy or it will die. A good roommate is hard to find. A good marriage is even harder especially if what you are saying is true. Good Luck. And have a happy divorce before you are complete enemies.

2007-12-26 13:46:01 · answer #1 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0 0

Any time a woman starts by telling you what a great and wonderful husband she has it sounds like she is trying to sell you something and she is she is trying to sell you a lie. If you honestly look at all the married couples you know how many are still in love?!??! Marriage destroys even soul mates. Once you figure it all out and get divorced if you are ever lucky enough to fall in love learn your lesson and never get married again. Flirting, cheating, racism, alcoholism, boredom are all different circumstances but that has nothing to do with it. Marriage is the problem!!! Marriage is a lie!!!

2007-12-26 22:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well, I think the bigger issue here is whether or not you feel like this marriage is going to last. If you both want to make it work, then you have to put aside everything else to make the marriage work. If you aren't willing to do that, you are prolonging the inevitable and should just end it now. If you decide to stay together, you should work on rekindling your romance. You both will have to work on that as you both have issues. If your flirting is an issue, you are going to have to seriously put a lid on that in order to save your marriage.

Good luck to you

2007-12-26 21:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by Pedsgurl 7 · 0 1

Well there is no remedy for flirting :( We're human and flirting and cheating is a natural part of life. He really needs to get his prioritues straight and get his libedo going...I would see a Sex Doctor and that'll cure his inability to perform sensual nights at home. Or maybe he's turning gay, who knows but see a Sex Doctor and hopefully he's not turning the other cheek. I only wish a girl flirted with me instead of playing headgames ;)

2007-12-26 21:37:25 · answer #4 · answered by The Bear 2 · 0 1

My advice is you need to find the spark in your marriage again. Think of what turns you on and go for it. Whether it be porn, toys, dressing up, fantasies, ect. Something to get the kick back in the bedroom.

2007-12-26 21:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by blueeyd_princess 5 · 0 0

I know exactly what your going through, i have similar problems but i am still engaged.If you love this guy don't give up yet but consider separating to make sure you still want to be in this marriage without cheating. Don't lead him on and tell him you need some time to know where your loyalty stands.

2007-12-26 21:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by The misses 3 · 0 0

Be honest with yourself and answer if it turns you on to flirt in front of your husband. It could be a turn on to yourself, having the power and your husband having none. Try dancing with another man in front of hubby. When you sit down, reach over and find out if it turned on your husband to watch. If it did, you might have a very interesting future ahead of you.

2007-12-26 21:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by K M 6 · 0 0

I'd be more worried about what your lives are turning into, instead of your flirting issues. Neither one of you has intimacy. Maybe breaking up and moving on would do both of you wonders. I hope my wife would always be "into me that way".

2007-12-26 21:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by Scott M 4 · 2 0

As young couples, try not to learn in thehard way. If you know that ther eis a problem like that, control yourself. Do you think it is fair to your husband? Do you want heim to do the same things you did?

Just change, you can do it..

2007-12-26 21:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by TT 2 · 0 0

My wife's best friend is like you and she's been married 10yrs, has two kids and supposedly is happy. My wife and I been married 13yrs and two kids, but my wife is boring. She won't go out (ever). Hates bars and drinking. I've asked her to go out (not like she has to drink), and she refuses. One night my wife had plans, the kids were at Grandmas and my wife's best friend asked me to go out with her and her husband. She is a flirt, but it was a major "turn-on" to watch her.

2007-12-26 21:40:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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