Usually on my way to school or work I would call my brother in law and talk about issues that we were both faced in everyday life. This went on for a year until my husband questioned me about cheating which in turn he found out that I would talk to him regurlarly not everyday but 2 or three times a week. Ocassionally out of the day we would contact each other about 5 or 6 times. I lied to my husband about the whole ordeal because my intentions were not to hurt him. Most definitely I broke his trust because I never told him about what was going on. His mother and sister knew about the situation but never told him. He believes he can no longer trust me because I lied to him about it. When I was confronted about it I lied to him about how many times I talked to him, the last time I talked to him, if I had e-mailed him.
2007-12-26 13:07:40 · 16 answers · asked by rr.milf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u should speak to a therapist.
2007-12-26 13:13:29 · answer #1 · answered by it stinks in here! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you and your husband have some serious trust issues to work on. First, the obvious, you lied to your husband....for a year. Not good. He feels betrayed, by you and your brother in law, and all the other people who knew, when he did not. Second, the fact that you felt like you needed to lie. It's not that there is anything wrong with you talking to your brother in law, as long as there were no inappropriate actions or conversations taking place. If these conversations were with a sister in law, it probably would have never been an issue, so I am assuming that this was perceived as a problem by you because he is a man...and your husband would have a problem with you having a friendship with a man, brother in law or not. I strongly suggest that you seek some marriage consoling to not only work on the obvious issue, but the fears that caused the issue in the first place. Best of luck.
2007-12-26 13:46:04 · answer #2 · answered by catywhumpass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband feels betrayed and has lost trust in you obviously. Is there more going on with you and the brother in law? Makes to sense why you would need to talk to him 5 or 6 times a day. I might talk to my brother in law that many times a month. So seeing that a complete stranger finds it odd I can see how your husband might find it strange especially since you didn't feel like he needed to know you kept it a secret (even more suspicious). So if your husband decides to leave you yes I could see why...
2007-12-26 13:14:29 · answer #3 · answered by blueeyd_princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what your husband is doing sounds pretty normal, I think you would do the same thing if you were in his situation. If your husband decided not to talk to you and instead to his sister-in-law about every day issues. And you shouldn't have lied because right when you did, you made everything worse. You need to have a talk with your husband and tell him the truth and apologize. Good luck.
2007-12-26 13:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you broke a very important bond, trust. No mattter the situation your vows are to your husband if you can't talk to him then why not talk to a counselor so you can see how to better communicate effectively with your spouse. He is hurt and now he needs some time to sort through his feelings. You need to send him flowers candlelight dinners at home i mean you have some major sucking up to do.
2007-12-26 13:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop lying and tell your husband the truth!!!! You are talking to the guy 5 or 6 times a day and nothing happened?!? If I was on the jury at your trial I would say GUILTY!!!! Why do you think your husband is so pissed off?!?!?
2007-12-26 14:11:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a jealous insecure fellow. You and everyone else knows that nothing is going on between you and you BIL. Ignore hubby. He's an idiot. Go about your business. Don't change anything. He'll come around. If he moves out, then he was looking for an excuse to leave in which case, it would have never mattered that you and BIL were talking to each other or that you lied about it. I wish I could find a woman like you.
2007-12-26 13:12:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If it has been hidden .. and gone on for so long .. and I found out .. I would be MAD .. and feel betrayed.
Think about it ... what if your husband did this to a sister-in-law .. how would you feel?
I have heard men say that they know how other men think about women .. and it all sexual .. so that may be one of your husband's consideratons about his bro-in-law talking to his wife, on the sly, for a year .. and sharing secrets together ... hmmm ... wonder why he thinks about leaving?
What would you do if it was another woman?
2007-12-26 13:22:51 · answer #8 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband decides to divorce you because of your lies...that is his choice....because without trust there is no relationship....I know my husband would be pissed off if I was talking to another man....and especially his brother....about our personal issues...Shame on you! Shame on you for lying about it as well...
2007-12-26 13:13:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probably consider separation with my husband if he betrayed me like that (talking to my SIL 2 or 3 times a week WITHOUT telling me for a year). I mean Gawd girl, if you have that many problems with your marriage- why stay in it anyway?
2007-12-26 13:11:54 · answer #10 · answered by plastic 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first of all why are you talking to your bro in law instead of your husband. Your husband does have good reason to question your trust, especially since you rather talk to his bro every day about issues you should be talking to you husband about, could it be that you really want to be with your bro in law instead. sounds like emotional cheating.
2007-12-26 13:12:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋