I realized recently when I hurt my back and was layed up for 2 days, that my husband literally acts pissed off that he has to do anything!! I mean anything, picking up laundry and taking it up stairs for me, doing his own laundry for work, going to my sisters to pick up our daughter, ANYTHING!! what is this? when he is sick i take care of him. when i get sick its almost like he picks fights so he can leave and not help out. i dont know how to apporach this . He doesnt think he is doing anything wrong. He says " your giving me attitude im giving it back" which is not normal for him. He is only like this when i need him. any advice?
2007-12-26 12:57:42 · 17 answers · asked by stellar31576 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men are usually cool, but being "caring nurturers" isn't in all of our natural makeups. I have to laugh. He really doesn't resent you. He's just being a jerk because he's worried about you (although he won't admit it) and he knows how much he needs you. He probably won't come around, but you can use this to tease him. Tell him not to worry; you won't die on him and make him do his own laundry. Give him a kiss and tell him that you know how much he cares.
2007-12-26 13:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
WELCOME TO MARRIAGE!!!!
Unfortunately, this is more common than you realize. When my husband is sick (by the way, he is a nurse), the whole world is going to come crashing down. But when I am sick, I am still expected to do the laundry, clean the house, cook the meals, and do the dishes, not to mention take care of three boys. Men are pigs!!!! I haven't quite gotten him out of it yet, probably never will but we have had a few fights over this and have spent some time not speaking to each other so we can cool off (peaceful time in my opinion).
Next time he is sick, do him the same way he has done you. See if he likes it.
2007-12-26 22:29:05 · answer #2 · answered by country girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know someone who has a great husband .. but when he has to be called on for doing these type of things - he has an attitude, too .... and it is usually only when this type of things are involved.
I think it is a guy-thing .. even though all guys are not that way.
I have heard before - also - that it makes some people mad if their mate gets sick .. and they have no sympathy ... yet, when the situation is reversed, they demand all the attention in the world.
The person I know - just accepted the fact that he acts that way - and goes on with her life.
You probably can't change him. But! ... this is not nice, I know - but the next few times when he gets sick - (not major) - don't cater to him .. just let him tend to himself like you are having to do. Again - I know this is not nice .. but maybe he needs a wake-up call.
2007-12-26 21:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
as a guy, let me tell you this. the picking up laundry part and taking it anywhere and folding and stuff...it's too much work and we're too lazy if you're guy's anything like me. but that should be it, its not good if he's not taking care of you when you're injured or need attention. maybe he's just lazy but he shouldn't be giving you "attitude" or being a jerk about it. but try talking to him and see what's goin on with him, since you say it's not normal for him.
i hope things get better, good luck
2007-12-26 21:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by gibsongtar101 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if he is only like this when you need him, then you need to need him more often!
if needing him only makes him leave so he doesn't have to help out, then you got bigger problems than just your back being out...what would he do if you REALLY needed him? would he pick a fight, give you an attitude back and then leave?
i'd have some serious talk time with him and tell him that you don't appreciate the way he treats you when you need him...then, tell him that if it happens again (his picking a fight and then leaving) he need not bother coming back any time soon...
2007-12-26 21:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband was the same way when the kids were small. whenever HE got sick he whined and cried and I took care of him and whenever I got sick he acted pissed off---Like I got sick on purpose to inconvenience him. I never did figure out what to do about it----killing him seemed a bit extreme-----but it got better as the kids got older. I still get pissed off when I think about it.
2007-12-26 21:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by shadowdog 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He probably doesn't mean to be rude to you. He is probably just reacting to a situation that, for him, is out of control. He is frustrated that you are not and deep down wishes he could do something to correct it. He is just reacting in an irrational way to this situation.
2007-12-26 21:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lee K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They are all that way. Yours is no different than ours.Maybe we should have married a man that only had sisters. Then he would be a lil more involved with his feminine side. good Luck.
2007-12-26 21:10:45 · answer #8 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think he's just irritable because he isn't getting any sex while you're laid up. I'd be willing to bet that the two of you made love on a regular basis. When men aren't getting any, and they're used to getting it on a regular basis, we get kind of irritated. Just be glad that he isn't out getting laid by some of your cute friends who might have their eyes on him.
2007-12-26 21:12:06 · answer #9 · answered by K M 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He's just lazy and feels like you don't appreciate him- which I'm sure you do. Tell him how much you appreciate it when he helps and you'll be sure to make it up to him (I mean- inevitably, he WILL get sick again). He's just being a baby.
Hope you feel better!
2007-12-26 21:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by plastic 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋