which do you think is more damaging to a child?

Question

Psychological manipulation or physical abuse? I can see how being hit would be very traumatic, but wouldn't a parent or sibling who head trips them and gives them distorted views about the most normal things in life be worse?

Thank you for your input.

Answer 1

I was emtionally abused and I have said many times that I wish that my paretns had hit me, because than I could say to the world 'LOOK, I have this bruise... this broken arm! See what they did'. Instead I claim abuse and my family (with their facade of being lovely people) are believed over me because 'oh your parents are so NICE, they would never abuse you mentally and emotionally.

that used to be my point of view. Now it has changed. A person with physical abuse is more readily believed, but suffers 2 types of abuse. because the pysical abuse accomapanies emotional abuse. I would rather only have one. So I pick the emotional.

Answer 2

I believe psychological abuse is worse than physical abuse. Bruises, scars, and welts are on the outside where children can see them and think, "Oh, I got that because I....." and they can learn to avoid those things that get them hit. Also, these signs of abuse are visible to everyone else too and at least some people go out of their way to treat the child kindly or even get help for the child. This, of course, is not true of ALL physical abuse but at least it is a factor.
Psychological abuse is hidden inside the child where it damages the very soul of the victim, and because it's hidden and often not told, it doesn't heal. Neglect is an insidious type of abuse that can destroy not only the child's feeling of self-worth but even their physical health, sometimes to death. Sexual abuse, which has both physical and psychological effects on the child, changes who the victim is forever. They may spend a lifetime clinging to the abuser as they try to convince themselves "Daddy loves me...doesn't he?...he will if I do what he likes. Won't he?"
I lost my mother when I was a baby and I was raised by a strict (but fair) father, his parents and an uncle. I was such a lucky child to have never been abused. I taught many children who were abused or neglected. Teachers must be advocates for these most vulnerable among us.

Answer 3

I have thought about this often as I volunteer with a shelter for survivors of abuse...

Somehow I think that mental abuse is almost more damaging--my reasoning is that physical abuse is quantifiable; you can see bruises, scrapes, etc...to me that makes the abuse real to the survivor and they can make it "real" to outsiders.

Mental abuse is really hard to quantify and show to anyone, and its impact lasts and manifests in so many different ways.

Physical abuse also leaves mental scars...they are both terrible. Another factor is your question that affects the answer is whether the abuse is at the hand of a parent or a sibling as they have different roles and responsibilities and children depend on them in different ways.

Answer 4

Being a victim of both of them, the physical pain does go away, but the pysological trauma from that remains forever. I guess that fall under the psych manipulation. I never learned to trust people as I got older and have sadly become a tad bit of a recluse. Though I attend college (I'm 54) and am active with that, I prefer not to seek a mate because I don't want them meeting my mother, who was very abusive and abandoned me.

Answer 5

Most kids sooner or later know they're being manipulated and will let you know in no uncertain terms, what you're full of. Physical abuse on the other hand, always appears unfair and cruel to children. Not to mention the fact that they are probably going to treat their own children the same way.

Think about your own childhood. Didn't you know when you were being fed a line of bull? Didn't you really resent it when you got hit?

Answer 6

While they are both TERRIBLE, in my opinion, the mental is by far worse. It makes you hate yourself, and when you wake up in the morning, you just want to go back to sleep and not wake up. And the worse part is that nobody else can see the harm that's being done, so nobody knows. You but up this brick wall, and you don't let ANYBODY in. So, you are all alone in it. That's just me though. I've never been physically abused, so I wouldn't know from that point.
Live. Laugh. Love. -Cutie

Answer 7

Both! Physical abuse is worse when it is tied to sexual abuse... a little something that I had to endure for 5 years. But they are equally bad.

Answer 8

I got hit and molested-hard to get over. But the mental degradation and put downs are even more troubling because they initiate self talk that is wicked hard to get rid of. In any event, children deserve love and guidance from sane, undrunk guardians, not the bastards I got stuck with...