Dealing with cerebral palsy and society's ignorance?

Question

I have CP ok.

As I get older, I find it harder to control my emotions than before. Because I see people laugh and point, or stare, or ignore me and talk to the person I'm with, or speak loud and slow as if I don't understand, or even treat me differently in the health care setting (slow with services, ignoring my needs, etc.).

This makes it really hard to go out and get what i need without an incident of prejudice from another person. It took 5 doctors to find one that really respected me and didn't blow me off! And many so called friends take me for granted or try to use me (like guys thinking they can get laid if they flatter me, yeah right!).

i get so angry about this, very upset and frustrated. my therapist just bats her eyes and looks at me in pity. I don't need this but i'm afraid of lashing out at someone and beating them with my cane if another person is rude.

HELP! How do I deal!?!? I'm really at the breaking point because even educated ppl seem to be really ignorant!!!!!

i don't expect to be treated special or be given faster service. when it comes to health care providers, they didn't see the need to investigate my complaints which is why i finally found a doctor who will take me seriously. that is all i meant.

as far as educating people, honestly it is tiresome to confront *every single person* that i come across who is staring, rude or whatever. even my former boss, when i came out with having CP because of fatigue issues, started to treat me as if i had comprehension issues when that wasn't the issue at all, and she had a PhD!! And she certainly could have looked that up on the internet if she wanted to know, *or* have asked me. but she did neither, AND refused to make my workplace wheelchair accessible even after a doctor's note!

now, if someone actually asked me politely, that would be a different story. i would respond to that because they took the initiative to care instead of being rude. asking questions is always welcome.

pickle_t, you are sooo off! i never said i expect things both ways, either implicitly or explicitly.

Yes, sometimes I need certain services that other people don't or can't afford (like state-sponsored housekeeping) because of my disability but is that 'special treatment'?

that 'special perk' as well as a fixed income of permanent poverty is not worth what i have to endure everyday. i wish we could trade bodies and you would know what it's like EVERY DAY to be in pain (from 6-10 out of 10 being extreme pain), extreme fatigue and have your body be completely out of your control, no prediction down to your bladder and voice and legs....and I have moderate CP, so you can imagine what it's like in the worst. I'm almost 30 years old and comfortable in my own skin. It's the rude people out there who discriminate that bother me.

I can't just blow that off or blame my own self image when other people deny or slow down accessing important services or getting a job that i'm qualified for!!

prima you are mistaken. i do not want special treatment, only to be seen by a competent, respectful doctor who will treat my medical complaints and an employer who will follow ADA law and build an accessible ramp that not only kept me from going in there (while still requiring me to get into the office) but also disabled clients who needed to access services stopped going there for the same reasons. you may 'think' you are right but you are only reading what you want to read that furthers your own prejudices. such treatment is NOT special but rather NECESSARY for functioning and quality of life that EVERYONE deserves.

Answer 1

Join with a community of people with disabilities. We respect each other even though our disabilities are not the same we understand each other. We also work together to make the communities more responsive to our needs. In unity there is strength.

Have fun with your disability. I use a scooter and was at Ikea a few days before Christmas and a little boy wanted to touch it -so I said want a ride? He climbed onto my lap and I took for a shirt ride. Then his sister wanted a ride. Before I knew it I had a line of kids wanting a ride. I doubt any of them thought of me as a poor pitiful disabled women - and the parents were thankful for keeping their kids happy and out of mischief for a few minutes. There are opportunities to educate everywhere!

Answer 2

The simple answer is there is no difference between someone with cerebral palsy having children and someone without cerebral palsy having children. Some couples have trouble conceiving and some don't. Cerebral palsy does not inherently affect fertility.

Answer 3

Sometimes people can be so rude! I worked with a guy that I call my friend that has cerebral palsy. At first I could not understand what he was saying because of his speech disability and even he walked very slowly. But he was the most funniest and smartest person I have ever met. I was the fortunate one that he chose me to be his friend. People, you are missing out on some really good people when you judge someone based on their disabilities. Please don't get angry with these rude and ignorant people, pity them because they are missing out on an intelligent and fantastic person like you. People, in the year 2008, you should really look past your prejudices and experience life more, I did and I have learned to be patience, compassionate and accepting. My life is much more rewarding.

Answer 4

you stated in one sentance that ppl stared at you and basically pointed out your differences and that bothered you and yet it bothers you when they don't cater to you and make sure everything is done faster for you than for other people, which means you want your differences noticed and want to be treated differently than everyone else because of them.

it sounds like it is you that needs to come to terms with your ailments.

on the other side. anyone who points and laughs is just a freakin moron. i can't imagine anyone doing that besides perhaps an imature, poorly raised junvenile.
as for the educated people that are ignorant.... you hit the nail on the head. ignorant - meaning uneducated about your particular situation. a lot of people do not know how to react or treat someone with a disability. do they go out of their way to help only to insult you because you are independant enough to do things for yourself. or do they treat you like every other person because they do not want to insult you. also, they may not know by looking at you what your ailment is. MOST people were raised not to stare or magnify someone's disabilities.

Why don't you tell people how you want them to react. i personally think that once you are comfortable in your own skin, other people won't bother you so much because you will take their actions and reaction for what they are.... which as you stated is ignorance. and i don't mean ignorance in a bad way. ignorance is just not knowing.

Answer 5

It's not just people with CP who are treated without dignity and made fun of, it's all of us with any kind of disability. If you have one , you have them all you know and that's how many, but not all temporarily abled bodied people think, from medical personnel to politicians to first responders to police.

Your emotions are so close to the surface because you're tired and exhausted of having to deal with ignorant and arrogant behaviour daily.

And as for your friends, they aren't your friends if they use you and make fun of you.

Is there a CP association near you where you could assess help, or an advocate in dealing with your medical issues? United Cerebal Palsy should be able to help you out. They may also have support groups with other persons who have CP where you might want to go.

If not try your local independent living center. The advocates there will teach how to make sure people treat you with dignity and help you learn assertiveness training.

Disabled people need to help one another and speak in one voice for one another. What people do to one of us they do to all of us and it's time they stopped. "Dignity is non-negotiable, innate and inviolate ,no person's dignity is any less worthy of respect ,any less sacred than anyone else's."

Answer 6

Educate people. I'll admit, I may treat you "special" and that's because I don't know much about your condition other than from what I see from passing by a person with your condition. I don't know how to deal with people with your condition.
I think today, the best and cheapest way to educate people is by making a video on youtube. Create a daily video like a blog and peole will start to see that you are capable of things. So I would suggest that you educate people.

Answer 7

Yeah, people are real ignorant when it comes to people having certain types of disabilities like yours. They are the ones that are handicapped in their own eyes because they don't understand what you are going through.

You dont want to hang around people that would treat you like that. Meet the ones that would lift you up, not put you down. The ones you have meet can drive you to a dead-end road. I only ignore those who try to belittle me.

Just keep going and don't let anyone tell you different.

Answer 8

I have to agree with pickle, at least a little. You do seem to stating two sides. And I may be wrong, but I dont think a workplace has to accomidate a person with disabilities by spending a lot of money to rebuild the structure. Yes, put you on a job that is restricted physically, but I dont think a doctor's note can say: "Need to build handicap-accessible building."

Answer 9

People are ignorant.
No one can understand anything anyone is going through unless they experience it themselves.
If people made more eye contact, with everyone, with a look that says "we are all in this together, I love you" you would give it back.
I get laughed at, the way I dress & look, but I could change that. You can't & it's not fair, you know what's going on, but you don't look like it, to those who don't know.
You are not alone, black people (no offence) could possibley
come close to empathising.
You inpire me Sir, good luck for 08

Answer 10

People are ignorant about so many things. Not just people, with a disability, but anyone whose not perceived in today's society as "perfect." You can only ignore them and pity them for they're stupidity and loss. . . for not getting to know you as the person you truly are. Good Luck!