My best friend is starting to drive me crazy. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a month now. My friend usually has to drive us around, because neither one of us currently have access to a car. But she has started to get annoying, for him and me. She texts him alot, asking him personal questions about our relationship. I know she is just trying to be a good friend, but she's crossing the line. Recently I was over at my b/f's house and she got mad because I told her not to come over. She doesn't have a b/f, so I understand a bit that she feels kind of left out. But I've had to tell her constantly, this is not a three-way relationship. Today he told me he's getting very fed-up with her as well. How can I get it through to her to stop intefering?
2007-12-26 12:07:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I ask her to drive us around because I don't have my liscence yet, and his is currently suspended. It will be this way for at least another 2 months
2007-12-26 12:23:19 · update #1
Quit asking her to drive you two around.
2007-12-26 12:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by whatzername? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a very sensitive issue, b/c she does obviously help you guys out a great deal. So ask yourself, do you still do things with her alone? Or are you mostly together when she is shuttling you? I only ask, b/c she may be feeling a used.
However, if you are doing things with her alone, all you can do is what you have done. Tell her how greatful you are for your friendship and that you are both thankful for her help in getting you guys around. That's a necessity!
She needs to understand that you care for her a great deala nd you don't want to push her out of your life; but that you need time alone with him to build your relationship, and that's just not possible if she is with you the majority of the time.
Tell her that you both are happy to have her along sometimes when you are not trying to do romantic things, but that it is just inappropriate for her to be there all the time. Tell her that he feels uncomfortable about the texting. Tell her he likes her but he wants alone time with you.
But definitely think of how much shuttling she does for you guys, b/c I'm sure that is at least a portion of why she is getting upset. I had a similar situation once. She understood when I told her how he and I were feeling and she backed off. But she was a little bitter for a time.
Added: Also, maybe if you ask her how she feels about the driving you around, or if there is a deeper issue. In my situation, it was that my best friend never had boyfriends, and I almost always did. So she was not only upset that I was spending less time with her, but she was upset that she did not have someone special. Just try to be sensitive to that sort of thing, and definitely try to not to have her take the two of you too many places, b/c that is rubbing her nose in it as well.
Best of Luck and Happy New Year! Be Safe!!!
2007-12-26 20:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by puppy.lover13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know that you appreciate her friendship very much but you would really like to work on the relationship with your boyfriend. She is being a bit immature. I'm sure she just feels she may be losing you, thats when you reassure her that you aren't. Make time for just you and her, then you and him, then time for all 3 of you. Things will work out just fine. God bless.
2007-12-26 20:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you want her to shut up & drive you & your BF around? That's not very nice. No wonder she thinks it's a 3-way relationship, the alternative is that you are just using her. Find some other way to get around- quit using her for her car!
2007-12-26 20:11:24 · answer #4 · answered by Snugs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to her. Tell her you are very thankful for the transportation.
Then make time for both of them. Maybe she feels this way because you have been kinda 'avoiding' her. Like say...Friday night are for you and him..and Saturdays are for just you two girls. Adjust it to whatever way works best for you.
You just really need to tell her how you are feeling. She is your friend, right? She should respect your wishes....if she doesn't....this is not a good friend to have. Sorry to say.
I had a 'friend' like that to...and I realized she wasnt a good freind.
You two just need to work things out.
I hope I was able to answer your question and help you out....best of luck :D
2007-12-26 20:13:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find another ride to see each other since she is apparently not getting it. This will help with her not getting involved as much. Also tell her that you can't have her getting her nose into your relationship anymore because its ruining your friendship. You have to draw a line and that may mean not getting a ride to see your boyfriend as much for a while.
2007-12-26 20:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Steph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you love her, but when two people like eachother, they kind of need alone time sometimes! Tell her that you appreciate it, but the things in yours and your boyfriends relationship is personal, and even know she's your best friend, some things need to be kept between you and your boyfriend..... good luck
2007-12-26 20:12:39 · answer #7 · answered by LiiLY PAD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad sometimes a friend is the last one to find out! That the friendship is over. Find someone to double date with you.
2007-12-26 20:23:32 · answer #8 · answered by birdie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend some time with her as she is probably feeling left out. Friends are for life.boyfriends come and go.
2007-12-26 20:14:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the cost of privacy might be having to take the bus. Stop using her for her car.
- In response to your added details, about why you don't have a license - it doesn't matter why you can't drive, OH MY GOD, TAKE THE FREAKING BUS!!!!!
2007-12-26 20:11:37 · answer #10 · answered by h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋