When to use WHO and WHOM??

Question

Which one should I use:

In both cases, I became an older friend and mentor ___ they confided in.

a) who
b) whom

Answer 1

"whom" follows prepositions, and would be used in this case.

But the picky linguist in me is here to tell you that the correct way to say this is:

In both cases, I became an older friend and mentor in whom they confided.

Ending a sentence with a preposition is colloquially acceptable, but not in formal writing. Probably the most common correction I've ever seen, so don't feel dumb about it.

Answer 2

First, to know whether to use who or whom, we need to talk about the difference between subjects and objects because you use who when you are referring to the subject of a clause and whom when you are referring to the object of a clause.

I know: subject and object sound pretty abstract, but it's easy. If we think about people, the subject of the sentence is the person doing something, and the object of the sentence is having something done to them. If I step on Squiggly, then I am the subject and Squiggly is the object.


OK. So you all asked about who versus whom, but what I think you really want to know is just when to use whom, because most people don't go around throwing unneeded whoms into their sentences. So remember, you use whom when you are referring to the object of a sentence.

So when is it OK to use who? If you were asking about the subject of these sentences, then you would use who. For example, "Who loves you?" and "Who stepped on Squiggly?" In both these cases the one you are asking about is the subject -- the one taking action, not the one being acted upon.

Still too hard to remember? OK, here's the quick and dirty tip. Like whom, the pronoun him ends with m. When you're trying to decide whether to use who or whom, ask yourself if the answer to the question would be he or him. That's the trick: if you can answer the question being asked with him, then use whom, and it's easy to remember because they both end with m. For example, if you trying to ask, "Who (or whom) do you love?" The answer would be "I love him." Him ends with an m, so you know to use whom. But if you are trying to ask, "Who (or whom) stepped on Squiggly?" the answer would be "He stepped on Squiggly." There's no m, so you know to use who. So that's the quick and dirty trick: if you can't remember that you use whom when you are referring to the object of the sentence, just remember that him equals whom.

Answer 3

who in this case because friend and mentor is a pair of predicate adjective and not direct objects in which case it would be whom

Answer 4

b.) in that sentence. Who is nominative. Whom is objective. Just like I is nominative and me is objective.
I hit the ball, but the ball hit me.
Who is correct? It is according to whom you ask?

Answer 5

'whom they confided in,' because the sentence can be switched around to say 'in whom they confided.'