My husband has never had a high sex drive but over the last year his sex drive has pretty much gone down to nothing.
I spent 3 1/2 months in the hospital with complications of pregnancy with our son and our son is now 8 months old. In the last 8 months we have had sex about 12 times. I offer to do things for him, bj's and the such and he declines. I try to spice it up suggesting we play strip poker or I dress up for him and it does nothing. He is happy to cuddle but nothing else really gets him going. It is usually a marathon effort to get him to do anything.
The other day I was trying really hard to get him in the mood and was failing. We usually have 3 kids plus the baby living with us but at them moment our other 3 children have gone for holidays with their other parents and we only have our son. I thought this would be the opportune time to get things rolling but he just isn't interested. He doesn't have to get up to the baby as I do all of that.
2007-12-26 10:44:02 · 5 answers · asked by Onyx ♠ 5 in Health ➔ Men's Health
He isn't required to do much around the house or in the yard. He is working an 8 hour day now so he isn't working long hours anymore.
I have asked him if it is me... if he just doesn't find me attractive anymore, doesn't love me anymore and he says it is neither of those things.
I finally had enough and told him that until we got this sorted out that I wasn't going to be in the same bed with him. I'm hoping that he will not get the physical intimacy at all and work out what he wants. He told me last night that he wants to go to a doctor and talk to him about it and see if Viagra will work. He has no erectile disfunction he just says he has no desire to have sex. He said it isn't that he doesn't want to have sex with me and that he is eyeing other women, he just doesn't want to have sex at all. He is 33.
I have tried everything(incl. porn). He will have sex if I make him but not more than once a week and we have gone 5 weeks without him even bothering about it! What else can I do
2007-12-26 10:50:56 · update #1
Strawberry15 - He knows that I do not have AIDS. When I fell pregnant they did a heaps of blood tests, including an AIDS and Hep C test as is standard. I am quite affectionate with him and touch him a lot. I have tried everything the books have suggested.
2007-12-26 11:15:43 · update #2
Viagra may not be the answer. I thought your husband was in his 60's.....33 is very young. I would suggest having a complete physical w/ some blood work. Low testosterone, certain drug use (zantac, BP meds, anti-depression, etc), obesity, worries over pregnancy, depression, can reduce ones sex drive. It is very odd because your husband is so young.
2007-12-26 11:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by revo2814 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are just not sexual. They don't have much if any sex drive. I had a friend who's husbands sounds just like yours. I don't think Viagra is the answer, but depending on his age he may have his testosterone levels decreasing which could play a part to it. If there is a history of sexual abuse as a child that could also play a part to him not wanting sex. Good luck and certainly see a doctor.
2007-12-26 11:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He may have something else on his mind right now, or may just need a friend in this moment. Stop pressuring him for sex and try finding out if there's anything bothering him. Even IF he says no, that nothing is bothering him, be a support for him. Our dicks and needs of sex (at least to some of us) act out depending on wut our minds want/are thinking about. If he's not thinking about sex, there's nothing u can do, unless he just gives up and tries to want it, that will make him want it. I give u props for trying new things with him, that def (good job). First things first, let him know ur there for him, wutever it may be. Make sure he knows that, (tho he may already know that). And if there's really nothing wrong with him and he still wants to go to a doctor, do NOT let them get him on viagra. Thats a no-return point. And that will only get him hard, yet he still will not want sex. Spend some family time outside of the bedroom. Cuddle, but don't bring up the whole nine yard sex. Tell him u love him, no matter wut. Understand him.
I hope everything goes better for u from now on.
To my belief, he doesnt want to lose u. Maybe the complications about u and the baby is making him think that, if u ever get pregnant again, that may occur another time. Believe ME, its really hard to get SOMETHINGS (not everything) out of a guys' mind after its been there. He would REALLY have to look past that in order to truly want sex again. Let him know that nothing will happen to u, that everything's gonna be ok. Good luck.
2007-12-26 11:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by Maybe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he turns down bjs, then he has no desire for sex. Viagra works great, but he has to WANT sex.
I think he needs consoling as this will get worse for you 2.
2007-12-26 10:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by mindjob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Viagra will not boost his libido. I'll bet he masturbates, see if he wants to do that with you.
2007-12-26 12:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by Solo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bottom line....viagra dont work & children take fun out of life
2007-12-26 11:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by Digital One 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he could just be asexual. talk with him a little more. maybe hes scared you have AIDS so then get a test if you haven't already done so. one way to get guys in the mood is to randomly start touching them.
2007-12-26 11:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by Strawberry15 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋