what would you do if propose to the love of your life after more than a year of dating and she says she is not ready for commitment and you should try and date other people.?
2007-12-26 10:28:23 · 21 answers · asked by saintbright247 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would move on, no point trying flog a dead horde etc.
2007-12-26 10:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am 25 and have been with my man for 8 and a half years.
he proposed after the first year but we were way way too young at 18 and 20 . So I said no, and now he says he is very happy we have waited.
Just because she said no does NOT mean she doesn't want to be with you!
She just may feel too young to actually get married!
We have been together all this time but I knew early 20's was not a good time to be married!
I think people need to wait and long engagements is a good idea!
also it's only been one year so perhaps she feels rushed!
After all your still getting to know each other really and once you come out of the blind love phase thats when reality hits.
My advice is not to start dating other people. What if she was the perfect wife and pefect mother but you never gave it the chance?? what if your throwing it all away just because you gave up?
Talk to her gently and discuss like 2 mature adults.
if you truly love her you can wait another few months or years.
perhaps you can get engaged and then say at 27 tie the knot.
I personally have not felt ready to marry until 27. which will be in two years.
I am not a commitment phobe and neither is my fiancee but we are mature sensible adults who knew we should wait until we were older and the blind love haze was over lol
we only were able to move in together last year and I am glad I waited to get engaged. we both feel ready and not rushed by social oppinions and feel that 27 is a good age.
You two obviously haven't talked about what you both want and at 12+ months dating, now is the time to do so.
Perhaps she was just shocked and didn't expect to be asked.
You need to discuss your future plans/ideas/morals/oppionions BEFORE you ask her to marry you.
please don't give up on the relationship, and go sleep with some god awfull rebound. if you truly Love her then give her a chance. True love always waits!
PS if she is suggesting you date other people it sounds like she is simply not ready for that type of in depth commitment however is still doesn't mean you both should break up. There are lots of people who are very much in love and want to be together but just dont want to get married yet. I have also dated other people in the first year of a relationship because you simply don't know if you want to invest the rest of you life in someone. You need to have an HONEST and OPEN discussion with her about your future.
Good luck :0)
2007-12-26 18:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by What's the point? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her thank you for her honesty and move on from there, and don't try to date anyone anytime soon, not until you figure out why you wanted to get married to someone that gave you no as an answer.
I think you should know their response is going to be a yes before you ask that question, because you can tell if someone would get married or not to you and you make that question as the last resource and as late as you can possible make that question. If you cross the line like me and just wait too much, you will have to leave that person or they will leave you.
Have the other person telling you to try and date someone else? I would tell the other person to first stop giving unnecessary suggestions that I know what I need to do with my life and time. She thinks you are weak by the way by telling you that. You need to have a little bit of a backbone, and that could be the reason why she gave you a no as an answer.
Things like this, will make you become a mature person.
2007-12-26 19:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's Best You found out Now !!!! She Obviously wants to Break up if she is suggeting Dating Other People. Sorry your proposal didn't go as planned. You'll Find the right one !! Be Patient !!! Good Luck !!!
2007-12-26 18:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by casper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... that is certainly something that you were on completely different pages and had no idea of it.
It is possible that she had been contemplating breaking up but didn't want to hurt you, and you fundamentally forced her into finally outing her hidden feelings. I would walk away if I were you... cut ties and move on as difficult as that sounds. You will find someone who would accept your heart and that ring with open arms, so don't run your heart through the wringer trying to get the one you have to do the same when it sounds as if she has given this some thought and has chosen not to spend the rest of her life with you.
Accept the broken heart and move on, poor heart...
2007-12-26 18:36:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi think it is just what she answerd you and to be honnest with you that answer she she is insecure of her own feelings for you that is the main reason, so in this situation all I can say do not give more love and affection then you can afford to lose, untill she has clearly told you the reason for saying what she did, she probaly and I am sorry to say this , dont have the same strong emotions for you as you have for her.
Goran
2007-12-26 19:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Goran E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, find out why she is not ready for the commitment. Maybe there is something wrong your not aware of.
2007-12-26 18:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by Viking Fan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize the fact is you have been shot down.
Heck yes get back out there and date other people. You were too good for her anyway.
Good luck.
2007-12-26 18:32:55 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Um... I would not propose... If you love her, why not find out what it is she wants and needs and realistically ask yourself if you are the one... If not, you need to move on and really put your actions where your words are - love her enough to ler her go find happiness...
2007-12-26 18:31:43 · answer #9 · answered by astutewoman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to what she said and follow her advise. In a nice way she is telling you she does not feel the same for you as you feel for her. So move on.
2007-12-26 19:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by K K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She gave you an honest answer, what more could you ask of her? That she give you the answer you wanted? Be patient. Time is your friend here. If it is meant to be, it will be. I know it is a heart ache. God Bless
2007-12-26 18:39:42 · answer #11 · answered by judy y 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋