My friend is scaring me?

Question

It all started about Halloween,as we were collecting cadies from the houses I said "Hey there is your friend...Boy,she's lost alot of weight is she anorexic?" as she sadi "No...but I sortof am" AS we walked more she told me she hasnt been eating much,exept an orange a day and a glass of water.It started getting worse for when we went to school she'd pack a lunch and not eat it and throw it away,So I got super upset and said "If you dont eat ill tell youre parents and ill even shove it down your throat if you dont eat" And she said"relax my parents already know" but they didn't and I didnt tell them either:(She kept saying she ate but I knew she didnt,what can I say to her?Please Help?!

And whenever I talk to her personally i get "I know*rolling eyes* ill eat" and then she takes it like im joking and its no big deal.

Answer 1

Honey, you seem like a nice friend. The best thing
you can do is tell her parents. She might get mad,
but in the long run it's better to have a friend
that's mad versus a friend that's dead. Correct?
I hope that this helps a bit!

Answer 2

I'm not sure but maybe I would scare her back. Next time you are out with her and you are walking some where, if you happen to be passing near a funeral home why not stop in and ask her if she has picked out which casket she wants, as that is where she will end up if she doesn't start eating. It is a hard line to take, but this is her life you are talking about right? I would talk to her parents and your parents and I would think an intervention of some sort is needed. There are too many talented, wasted lives that ended way to soon because of this disorder and if ignored it will take her life and there is no other way about it. In her eyes she looks fat, every thing she sees about herself is fat, even though her bones may be protrudeing she doesn't see that she sees a fat girl in the mirror, so the longer people ignore her, the longer she has to be able to kill her self slowly, the longer this disorder has a chance to keep a hold of her mind until it completely takes over her mind. If you are the true friend you say you are, you will have to be strong enough to be able to take all the crap she will send your way once she realizes that you are trying to help, and she will resent you for it, for now, but in time she will come around and when that day comes she will be so grateful that she had a true friend that stayed with her through it all, that cared enough to go through everything with her. Now it is up to you, are you that person or not? if you are, then you know what to do GOOD LUCK, I'M PRAYING FOR THE TWO OF YOU!!

Answer 3

There's really nothing you can do to make your friend eat. Saying anything to her about it will only piss her off & make her hide it more. You may tell her parents that you are worried about her, but she will probably find out & be very angry with you. Since your friend is a minor, her parents will notice when she starts to get bad, and a doctor will notice, as well. I suffered from anorexia and bulimia for 20 years. It started when I was 11 years old and the best thing my friends ever did for me was to ignore it. Yes, I know that sounds bizarre and people are going to give me thumbs down to the moon for it. But if any of my friends would say things or tell on me, it only caused me not to talk to them and it never helped in any way. My parents could see when I needed intervention and that's their job. Being someone's friend when you're minors means being their friend no matter what's wrong with them & not making their problem worse by constantly pointing it out. It's fine to be worried & even to voice that worry sometimes. But not in a mean way & not saying: "I won't be your friend if you are going to starve."
So, if you really think that her parents are oblivious, and that your friend is in serious danger, tell them. But be prepared for your friend to not want you in her life anymore. Eating disorders are so complicated. It's not a black and white type of issue. This is something she'll likely be dealing with for a long time. Try to hang in there with her & be tolerant if you can stand it. It's really nice of you to be her caring friend. I don't know how my friends could stand me back then, but we're all grown up now in our 30s & still friends so it is possible.

Answer 4

You really need to sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you're concerned about that fact that she isn't eating, and that there are healthier alternatives out there for weight loss (if she even needs to lose weight). Anorexia can lead to serious illness and even death so it's not something that can be taken lightly. If she doesn't want to listen to what you have to say you're going to have to talk to her parents. If her parents know it may be easier to get her professional help either from her doctor, a nutritionist, or perhaps a counselor.

I know it's a scary subject and it's going to be tough to talk to her about. She may get upset with you and feel as though you don't understand her, but in the end she'll realize you did it FOR her, and her own well-being, not to hurt her.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

tell her she needs to eat or it will overtax her heart and cause angina pectoris if /when she exercises or does any activity... also the brain needs food, ask her why she is hurting herself, what is making her so upset? let her know she can talk to you any time she wants and give her your mailing address in case her parents move her around a lot.get her some bee propolis, if you have to break open a capsule and put it in some ice cream and stir it in she won't know it's there.helps athletes gain weight and give her a bottle of flintstone chewables or a few from yours,or some other multivitamins...believe it or not i had anorexia and smoked weed to get an appetite, it saved my life. tell her also that eating can actually help against depression and so can drinking coffee.

Answer 6

Hi,
Maybe you should tell your parents about it first. you don't want to break her trust for you by going straight to her parents. You can also print out some information on eating disorders from the Internet and give it to her so that maybe she could realize that it can be very serious. You should let her know that you are genuinely concerned for her well being. Suggest that she should maybe talk to her physician.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

First, I'd open up a can on her for lying to me. Friends don't lie to each other.

Second, tell an adult--parents or counselor or even teacher.

Third, keep up your support. She needs pressure from you to eat her lunch, and she needs to know that you love her and are supporting her out of love. Even if things get ucky, write to her, call her, visit her, whatever you can do to let her know that you haven't stopped loving her just because she's ill.

You're a great friend!

TX Mom

Answer 8

I had anorexia. And even though friends told me to eat more, as dearly as I loved them, I didn't care what they had to say about it. That's usually how it is. Anorexics are afraid of gaining weight and feel satisfied when they lose weight.

The best thing you can do is talk with her parents. They have more control of her life. I'm glad she has a great friends like you who cares, but it usually takes more than the influence of a friend to overcome the mental disease. She has to want to recover herself. I wish you and your friend the best of luck.

Answer 9

Do her a favor and write an a letter to her parents you don't have to sign it. You could even type it just in case they recognize the handwriting.

OR if she smokes
take away all her cigs and then tell her she'll get one after she's eaten something. I've done that a few times.

Answer 10

You might have to tell her parents. Mention to them that you are concerned about her eating habits and that she has mentioned to you that she is not eating. See if your information fits with anything her parents have noticed lately. Tell them that you would rather your friend not know that you came to them and maybe they could just pay more attention to what she is eating at home. Good luck!