Does my wife cheating on me?

Question

My wife started to go with her sister and her girlfriends to dance without me. She insists she needs more space and she still loves me and wants everything continues in the same way. The thing is she told to me that there is male stripper show & she show me his ad cards & a big poster (naked of course) of this guy, poster was bought. We are married- 17 years and three teens. We are 39 y/o. One of these days I asked for a phone # and she told me take it from her wallet. I found the ad's stripper card together w/my photo. I got the number. As a bad guy I was looking for this number in the cell phone bill and what a surprise: I found at least 8 calls to him in different days, less than a minute of duration and 6 more from house's bill. I asked her what's is happening and she was upset because I checked her calls & says this isn't important & I don't have to be worry. It was something she doesn't know why she did it but she wants to continue going the same place & she asked me let her go.

Answer 1

Definitely sounds like she is cheating. And you know, I am old school and I don't think a married person should be meeting or calling a person from the opposite sex ... especially in the sort of situations you have described (bars, alcohol, and a stripper). I would prepare for this relationship to run into a brick wall.

Answer 2

If she's not cheating, it's probably not far off from happening. Sorry to sound so bleak but this is the only logical explanation, especially given that she didn't make up an excuse (IE: I'm hiring him for a friend, etc.). In any case, you have to put your foot down and demand that she make a choice on the matter. If the roles were reversed, she wouldn't like it.

Samirah, above, is a smart girl. You really should start checking into protecting your rights, both financially and where your kids are concerned. And I wouldn't go giving her a taste of her own medicine if I were you. This would only perpetuate the problem rather than solving it. 39 is just beyond the age where anyone should be going through a phase. She is running off of the tracks, significantly if there have been telephone calls placed. I wonder if he has called her or if she just insists on chasing him?

Answer 3

The fact that there are so many calls is very likely there's something going on that she doesn't want you to know about. If she's going to keep going to this strip joint or call this stripper and tell you she doesn't know why she did it, you need to sit her down and just ask her heart to heart what's going on. I'm sure there's an explanation for it. She could even be having a midlife crisis and just realizing her youth again and having too much fun. Of course..she could also be having a bit TOO much fun if you know what I mean...In the meantime, remind her of all that you have together - children, a happy family, and of course many wonderful memories. If she were as much as a decent person, she'd stop what she's doing. At this point though, I'd personally say there's something wrong with that woman!

If she's not willing to come forward and tell you exactly what's going on when you have a serious talk with her, call the business and ask them exactly what they do there. She gets angry at you checking her calls and such so she'd be even more angry if you were to follow her, so don't do that unless your relationship is already in such bad shape that you just need hard proof to leave her.

In the meantime, why don't you round up your guy friends and hit up some strip joints or bars yourself and have some fun? If she can do it, so can you. Live it up! Hahaha..

Best of luck to you~ Happy holidays

Answer 4

Hey, sorry to hear that.
It sounds as though somethings not right and i think you should get her when shes in a good mood, and ask her straight out to tell you the truth, if theres something going on.

Start taking her out more build your relationship more, and if there is anything happening, she should tell you, or you'll tell by facial expressions, suggest going out to dinner the same time as she goes to the strip show, and if she rejects you, then you could hire a private detective, or you could go see for yourself what she does.

Has she been acting suspiciously lately? Hiding her cell phone? Leaving the house more often? If she won't come forward, threaten to leave and if she doesnt care, or you can tell she's faking her emotions...when shes out pack her stuff on the lawn for when she gets back.

Call the number you found, and ask if anythings happening, usually, if you say something like "Whats happening between you and my wife" the guy would say something like "But shes my girlfriend." Give it a go...

The fact is, no matter what she says, it IS important because if she is cheating, shes gonna hurt you badly and your kids.

Like i said, call the numbers of the cell phone, when shes not around.

I looked at my ex's cell phone whilst he was supposedly out doing DIY jobs for his brother in coral springs, a few miles away from our home, he was gone ages so i called his brother who said he wasn't there and had'nt been. so i called this number that was on his cell, and a young woman answered, i heard a guys voice that sounded so like my bf. So i said "Have you been calling this number, its my bfs" and she says "He's mine, he said he was single." He'd acting odd for ages, so...i chucked his mobile in the pool and packed his stuff and chucked the cheating b*****d out!

Or...on the other side she could just be calling him to ask when the next shows on and be addicted to watching men strip.
Lol. if she is, put on your own little show hehe.

Answer 5

Well to be honest....she isn't happy with you or she wouldn't be going out and calling strippers ....WOW! Been together 17 years and she is acting like a 21 year old? WOW. I say talk things over and smooth things out before she does cheat. Sounds as if she is working her way to that. (Not sure if she has cheated or not) but know she is working on being unfaithful from where I am sitting that is what it seems like. I hope she doesn't or hasn't though. I would figure she knows better than to act like a teenager at her age, but she is missing something within your relationship, I am NOT saying it is your fault okay? I am just saying she is missing something IN your two's relationship that she feels she must go out and get attention at bars or with strippers. Strippers will sleep with anyone who pays them, so beware of STD'S IF she has slept with this guy. I do not recommend sleeping with her until you know for sure either way. STD'S are nasty. If you cannot talk to her because she is not willing then you know your marriage is on the brink of failure. I am sorry she is acting like a child. Good luck to you....take care..

Answer 6

She is not being honest with you. There is reason to worry because , the whole club scene is not for married people. What is she going to see other men naked for. She has all the man she needs to see stripped naked home. Dont fall for that. Ask her what needs does she need to be fulfilled. The club scene can reak havoc on a marriage. Find out what she needs that she is looking for at the club for the sake of your marriage. Try new and exciting things. be daring come out of that ole . up down up down make love to her soul not just her body before the stripper gets in where he can fit in,

Answer 7

Don't you get it?.

A good and loving wife, doesn't go dancing by herself without first invite you, and most likely, wont.

A good wife wont have a strippers phone number!!!
Don't you get it?
A good wife wont be having phone calls.
don't you get it yet?
A good wife wont tell you she needs her space.
don't you get it?.

I just want to tell you, since you have been married in the time I've been single. Single guys goes to clubs, and the easiest thing to pick up, are married woman. Guys are tired of finding out the woman they took to the parking lot was married, actually, not tired, just dissapointed.

She was just "out to go dancing with her single friend, so her single friend can meet someone". It happens everywhere.

Going out dancing (with whoever) is a license from his husband to start cheating since the guy can't do anything and can't stop her, is like saying "ok, you can cheat, just don't tell me".

You are not going to be told until she finds the one with who she will end up leaving you. Or will put her life organized in order to be without you. She knows she has some kind of potential of being without you and happy again, that's why she is not putting absolutely any efforts on respect you.

Why would she have the picture of a naked guy?.

You can't control what she is doing. Do this, set a line of what you will allow and what you wont allow in your marriage, tell her on which side she would like to be, and also, be prepared to have this person choose the other side of the line you would like, but you need to be strong for what you want, even if it hurts.

Ask some of your single guy friends, if it's true or not, that is easy to meet married woman in club, and that the same night happens some phisical things. What stories do you know about her girlfriends?. With who she is hanging out, is with a bunch of cheaters?, they like to cover each other and help each other on their own "adventures". If her friends are unloyal woman and she knows many stories that her friends have lovers, then you can be almost sure she unloyal.

You can't find things out by yourself, you can just control your life. If you want to be a husband that stays at home and her wife is dancing somewhere and has calls and pictures of a guy that pose naked (let me laugh!!! lol) then is your choice. If you want to be someone different, then it's your choice too.

I didn't want to laugh, but I just don't get it how guy sometimes are just so dumb that they don't get this kind of things.

Answer 8

Well first off, only you know your wife well enough to truly answer this question. But in my opinion it does sound a little fishy. The fact that she was upfront with you about where she was going and specifically the guy she was "ogling" is a good thing but the fact that she has been calling him secretly is definitely a red flag. I would tell her that unless she can explain herself you feel too uncomfortable with her going to see him. I would stress the fact that it is not that she cannot have some alone time but how can she expect you to be ok with her going there if she can't explain what exactly is going on. Or ask to come with and see what you find. Overall I would go with my gut feeling on this one. Sadly I think that many of us ignore that sixth sense we were blessed with but it was put there for a reason so my advice is to use it!

Answer 9

It sure doesn't sound like she's cheating yet, but she might be thinking about it. When she gets home, does she jump you? If not, something's wrong. Not wrong in that she might be doing the dancer, but wrong in that she doesn't want to have sex......with you. Have you "let yourself go" over the years? Do you listen to her? Do you tell her how much you appreciate the things she does for you and the kids? You see what I'm saying? She's at an age where most women's BODIES want to be made love to......a lot. If she doesn't want to have sex with you then she might be considering another candidate to take care of those hormones. Don't let this chance to solidify your marriage pass you by.

Answer 10

She hasn't necessarily cheated yet...but given the opportunity I think she would because she's caught up in the moment. It's probable that he's put her off and is just being nice but unavailable. The less than a minute means she left a message which he probably didn't return her call. Ask her to go to counseling and discover what is going on with her as to why she feels she has to continue going there and why she would put her marriage in jeopardy. Go with her on the first session (that way the counselor isn't left in the dark and will know what you know). Good luck...