I love my fiance with all my heart. we have been togather for almost a year now. well see he checks my myspace and i checked his once, and i found a couple of things. 1. he called the girl amberlicious. 2. he told her he miss's her and some other girls from school. 3. he called her babe and he don't even call me that. 4. he commented one of her pics and said "WOW,amber you look hott,hit me back sometime". well i talked to him about it and i told him that i feel like he has feelings for her and his told me that his feels for her is lust not love but with me its love not lust. and he told me that i don't need to worry about him cheating on me but i do anyway its a natural thing for me. ive been in 3 relationships before him and they all cheated on me and his ex cheated on him. i have never ever cheated in my life and he says he hasn't either but when i talked to him he got angry at me. but he told me that everyone calls people babe and hun but i still have my feelings. am i wrong?
2007-12-26 10:18:58 · 18 answers · asked by Babygiirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are correct in being leary of his actions. If you have any question that he will cheat on you, DO NOT marry him. You will live in worry for the rest of your life or you will end up in a nasty divorce. Anyone in a serious committed relationship would not be acting like he has been.
2007-12-26 10:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by netsirk20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO YOU ARE SO NOT WRONG.
at all.
See he probably means that he loves you, and lusts her. Thats most likely true. But Which is stronger lust or love? A lot of people would say love but i beg to differ. Sometimes when you love someone, they are maybe has a different body type than another guy you know, and that other guy is just a GOD. Sure your man, has a nice bod but this guy is just mmmm.... and you want to try it.
Lust is such a powerful thing that I've delt with.
And your fiance, well he'll feel guilty if he cheats on you, but he wont regret trying something else.
2007-12-26 18:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by Siesta Fiesta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong based on his explanation but both of you are lacking in trust...neither of you have it and that's a shame. He has no business in your MySpace and you have no right to investigate his interactions with other people. There are some things that should remain private and that needs trust...a great deal of it!
By what you've said these are girls from school that he knows. I'm thinking this might be High School? Perhaps he knows them longer than he knows you and this is the way they speak to one another. Perhaps he told you a lot when he admitted to having feelings of lust toward her and not you...which is actually fairly insulting! If he loved you he wouldn't be lusting after anyone else, and I don't care who it is. It's disturbing to me that you're engaged to be married to this guy.
Having your history and being cheated on in 3 relationships should tell him something about the way you deserve and need to be treated. It should also tell you something about yourself as to why these guys all cheated on you. He also knows what it feels like to be cheated on and what he is doing is cheating in another way. It's not acceptable, pure and simple!
2007-12-26 18:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by Chris B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1. You are insecure do to past relationships with men dumping on you, which is what i have been through, so I don't blame you for being upset that he calls Amberlicious babe or hun or whatever. That is not acceptable, knowing he doesn't call you hun or babe. That is WRONG of him.
#2. If he has been cheated on then he should understand your concerns with his terms of endearment towards Amber or others in general.
#3. Dump his sassy *ss if he continues to show strangers affection and not you. It is obvious you know that he is leading to "about" to cheat if he is doing crap like that with other women and not you. He needs to grow up or shove on!
GOOD LUCK!
2007-12-26 18:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen carefully. You told him your feelings about his messages to this other person. He ignored your feelings. Does this sound like he loves you or "lusts" you? The best (& hardest) thing that you should do is give him the ultimatum that if this behavior continues, then the relationship will not. Period. I wish you immense luck. I was cheated on, too. I know how you feel. It's hard to let go, but remember, there's always someone out there better for you!
Take care.
2007-12-26 18:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by MsLaLa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you did the right thing, if he is your fiance then he shouldn't be doing things like that. I know that i wouldn't want my fiance acting like that. Tell him how you really feel and make sure to let him know that you are taking this seriously. Becasue you love eachother then hopefully he will understand. This could also be just the way he behaves. if he is still acting that way and you are still bothered by it then maybe this relationship will not work out for you. thats it just my advice, hope everything works out!
2007-12-26 18:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by LeeLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel concerned. Here's my advice, although it may be a little sneaky:
Wait until he leaves his myspace up again without signing off. Email this girl pretending to be him and see what she says. Sounds sneaky, but it may be the only way you'll know the truth.
2007-12-26 18:24:30 · answer #7 · answered by Beth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun,if you have to check up on him, then you already doubting him. I understand about the past things in your life. You wonder about the next one. I agree you did the right thing about talking to him about it. He was right out honest about it. The question you must ask yourself is..... Do you trust him? I would ask him not to speack to her in that manner again. Sence it does upset you. Or wanta turn the tables on things. You no he checks yours so do as he does. Then maybe he will see how it feels.
2007-12-26 18:27:19 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's being defensive about something it probably means he's trying to hide something. It is true however, that most people call their friends honey, sweetie, etc. The question is, does he only have a pet name for her or does he have one for most of his friends?
2007-12-26 18:27:29 · answer #9 · answered by Cristy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's probably just a harmless crush. people in relationships have harmless crushes all the time. the important thing is that if u or him have one of these crushes u have to avoid that person incase it turns into something more. so just ask him to stop talking to her
2007-12-26 18:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋