What shall i do about my inconsiderate neighbour??

Question

I've known my neighbour for 20 years who i thought was a friend. She moved into the rented flat above my husband and i (we own ours) about two years ago and ever since she has made so much much noise, we want to move.

Every week she seems to have a new boyfriend and my husband and i have to listen to her antics, we're talking major bed squeaking. At first we thought it was funny but now i have a 7 month old son and it keeps waking him up. I have told her many times that we can hear her and could she do something about it, she always says sorry but she never actually does anything about it.

The thing is, it's bad enough that she's waking us up but she also has a 3 three year old boy and if we can hear her then he must be able to as well and i don't think it's right.

I don't know what else to do, i don't want to lose a friend but then i don't think she is being a very good friend to me. We want to move house and we have tried to juggle our finances but we can't afford it.....

sometimes it is so loud that my walls or my windows shake, i can't work out which one. Recording it doesn't help as you can't get an accurate account of the noise. I'm not a confrontational person so i don't know what i can do! It's making our lives a nightmare and my sons sleep is suffering.

Answer 1

i would talk to the person who actually owns the flat shes renting and start filing complaints. Just keep at it until action gets taken. eventually the land lord will have to do something if there are enough complaints.

fact is shes not being much of a friend to you guys and shes not setting a good example for her son. you need to decide whats more important to you, a 20 year old friendship or your sanity.

Answer 2

You may want to consider perhaps taking on a more clever approach. Try playing really loud music or being an annoying neighbor by always going round her house. Keep this up until she breaks and asks you to stop. This is when you should make an agreement with her about her nightime activity. Explain the situation and see what happens from there. Its obvious she isnt being a good friend to you so she isnt worth keeping. If this behaviour at night persists buy your son some earmuffs and you and your husband and keep on playing loud music when youre not asleep and carry on being annoying until she either stops or moves. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

i have the exact same problems with my neighbour, except she isnt a friend anymore. lack of respect is a big thing here. you could move, it might be the only way to keep her as a friend.. but i think the best thing to do for the time being is to mention things to the council (or whoever) to try an get them to remind her of her tenancy agreement. i am keeping a diary of everything my neighbour does, as i wont receive any help whatsoever in the matter unless i do. EVERY noise needs to be documented, write that you are concerned for the well being of the boy-all these strangers in his home 24/7. it feels horrible at first but it really is the only way you will get things sorted. i have kept a diary on my neighbour for the past six months so when i hand these in i shouldnt have to deal with her for much longer. i hope you realise that it might be time to walk away from your "friendship" and concentrate on your family. you will be able to find some way of sorting this out. and i wish you every luck for the future.

Answer 4

Speak to her again and this time be a little more forceful, as well as handing her a typed letter that you should type.

The next step is the video record the bedroom, see the walls shaking and send it to the local council. Or you can file a complaint.

I know this is bad, but it's not good 4 your son or 4 you. This is the best way and sometimes in life you gotta be mean 4 things to work out good.

Answer 5

Can you talk to the landlord, whoever owns her apartment? There are rugs and sound-proofing that could be installed - and also, your landlord may not be thrilled to hear that there is a new guy in the building every week. Because otherwise, your neighbor is never going to do anything. BTW, she is NOT your friend, or she would care about your feelings enough to do something. She is an acquaintance only, so don't feel bad. You are getting a bigger screwing than she is, IMO.

Answer 6

You said that you have told her many times that you can hear her and it's waking up your son. It's time to file complaints or whatever you do in your part of the world. She can't blame you if she gets into some kind of trouble for this. The ball is in her court and she's not doing anything about it. She's not your friend.

Answer 7

You have got to tell her, and sod what she thinks. At the end of the day, not only is she keeping YOU awake, but your SON awake as well, so sorry but in my eyes its not acceptable.

This woman clearly puts personal pleasure before anything else and it needs to be stopped.

EDIT: Actually, just take immediate action and file for a complaint. If yout tried talking to her, you'd probably get a mouthful of abuse in return.

Answer 8

Hi There

Silly question I know, But is there anyway you can tactifully suggest that you and your neighbout install cladding in the area between your ceiling and her floor

Re her son hearing, he may not as noise in flats can sound awful down stairs but nothing in the actual flat

good luck I know what it is like as I have been there

Answer 9

it is against the law,so go on to your local council website,it dont matter if ur a council tennent or not,and look for the part that deals with this sort of thing.dont let her make your lives a misery just report it,it in no way makes you a bad person but enough is enough!!

Answer 10

You deserve having your rights .

she must not continue to wast your peace at night that reflects on your resource fullness at day.

nor your 3yr old must hear that .

if i were you , i would inform her that if her absurd attitude continues , you would be reporting her to the landlord (or whoever is responsible for the building you live in)

she shall and will not continue her behavior . she must be seriously informed that if her attitude continues she might as well leave the apartment and move to some "w***** house"

Good luck .
keep your peace and Joy !
God's bless .