My live-in boyfriend of almost 5 years decided to go out and blow 75% of his paycheck a few weeks ago on a new flatscreen TV. He had the audacity to say it was "for us". He assured me he would still have money to get me a gift this year. I spent a lot of time shopping for him and carefully picked out gifts that he would like including a new ring. I was so surprised to see two boxes under the tree for me this year. After he had opened his gifts I opened mine and to my horror I found a necklace/earring set made from metal that is painted to look like copper with fake stones (the kind of jewelry that turns your skin green when you wear it). I am sorry but I am a 30 y/o professional woman and I don't even think a teenager would wear this. I looked it up online..I found it, it was on sale for $8.50! Am I wrong for being angry about this or am I whining for no reason? I didn't expect him to spend a fortune, but I thought I was worth more than that! Should I say something to him?
2007-12-26 09:51:23 · 29 answers · asked by Da Pill 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
And no I don't get to watch the TV all that much. He hooked it up to his computer so he can play his games - that's why he got the TV. I know I am going to get a few more responses out of this addition..but I ran out of characters in my initial posting.
2007-12-26 10:33:22 · update #1
yes, you most definitely should say something to him: goodbye.
Reason: he has shown you what you are worth to him. You have lived together for five years with no further commitment and he spends $8.50 on you. If you think you are worth more effort than that, say goodbye and find someone that values you.
2007-12-26 10:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
ok...I dont agree with a few people on here...getting even is not the answer. it will only cause problems in the future and if wont make you feel better either. the thing with the tv is...unless he told you about it and you agreed on it being a gift for the both of you then it was not a gift for you at all. My husband and I agreed on a new puppy being our main gift this year...then we got eachother a few things to open Christmas day. if he just came home with a tv and said it was for both of you then thats not right. I would talk to him and tell him that while you appreciate that he got you something, you are hurt with the leck of effort he put into it. I would not be concerning myself with what he spent...that would be petty, but there was no effort in that gift at all. I would let him know that you put a lot of time and effort into something you knew he would like and you feel cheated by someone you thought cared enough to actually at least try. mutual gifts are a mutual decision and being a live-in boyfried of 5 years, purchases like that that cost alot of money should be discussed and agreed upon as a couple.
2007-12-26 10:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They say it's the thought that counts, but I would be hurt also. If you two spend lots of time watching TV together, then I would be grateful for the new screen. I feel that when someone gives you a gift, it represents how they feel about you, and how much they appreciate you. The time spent on choosing your gift says a lot also. Maybe he did spend a lot of time choosing the earrings/necklace and thought in his mind it was a really great gift and that you'd really enjoy it. I don't know how to answer your question, but if you are really upset over it, I would talk to him about it. Maybe there's some way he can make it up to you.
2007-12-26 10:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by karly 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I think that the flatscreen is, as he said, for both of you as you do live together and that is a marvellous thing for him to buy and it is just a pity that he was a bit dumb in getting you such cheap jewellery but he probably didn't know any better and didn't have much money left over - Even a box of chocolates would have been better than that but he is only a male and you must forgive him. I think you are suggesting that the T.V. is just because that is what he wanted but no he is thinking for the both of you so don't nag him about this. Are you two planning on marrying - Well you have been together for 5 years???? and maybe it's time???
2007-12-26 10:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by veraswanee 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
well, I'm in the same boat except i'm on the bad end of the stick. We told each other we wouldn't go all out on each other and rather make sure my 3yo daughter had a good holiday. (she's not his daughter but he treats her like one).
So I thought id surprise him with a ps3 since it's the only game system he doesn't have. Well, that was all a very nice surprise until I opened a small box with a very pricey movado watch in it. It is worth more than my 02 grand am car. Then, in my stocking that we said we wouldn't do was a picture of the nicest jogging stroller one can buy.
Needless to say, he wasn't disappointed in his gift, but I wish he hadn't done what he did. I love my stuff but i don't feel like it's deserved. I had said i would like to have those things for christmas, but definately not the most expensive ones he could find.
I wouldn't say anything too harsh to him since I'm sure you will enjoy the tv too. but i would definately let him know that for future refernece, the necklace he bought you wasn't your style. Or save it and re-gift it to him next year and see how he likes it.
2007-12-26 10:32:49 · answer #5 · answered by fun mom 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Being a guy who screwed up like this myself I have to say that if you keep quiet it will never get any better. I tried pulling that crap with my wife a few times and she really let me have it. Now I realize ALL I have to worry about is her. She will shop for everyone in both of our families and the kids, she also makes sure all the birthday stuff is taken of too. My only job is buy nice gifts for HER birthday, Christmas, Valentines and Anniversary and we're both happy. So go ahead yell, scream and/or cry and wake him up to how much easier life is when he keeps you happy!
2007-12-26 10:10:28 · answer #6 · answered by J.R. B 2 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Maybe this would be a good time to talk to him about the importance of gift giving, as a way of showing your feelings for the other person. However, I would not put an emphasis on the cost of the gift, but rather the thoughtfulness of the gift.
2007-12-26 09:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by Christine H 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
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2016-12-18 08:53:50 · answer #8 · answered by hokenson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is an indicator of things to come. My suggestion is for you to think carefully how long you want to waste your life on someone who clearly doesn't put you on a pedestal. I guarantee, if you ended up in front of a judge, the TV would be HIS, not OURS.
2007-12-26 10:37:58 · answer #9 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A gift does not matter as long he thought about you..My hubby came home drunk and he forgot it was christmas..
luckyly he got me a nice jacket after I told him is CHRISTMAS big HEAD!
anyway..just take over the TV...and when his real drunk if he drinks ..Get him to sign a paper saying is yours..LOL
now you have your own gift..how big is that TV?
or withhold which I'm doing now..you know what? and he will listen than LOL-
men are easy..to control with that..
just write a list of things you like so next year..he will do a better job..
take care and cuddle with him and that BIG TV..and WATCH movies you are so lucky with that screen tv..
2007-12-26 10:37:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋