one more time
There is no tomorrow,
Yesterday just despair.
Wishing upon one single star,
Nothing much happens to change.
The sky grey and leaden,
Rain starts to pour down.
This day has come to an end,
My dreams have all flown away.
The bloody rivers in my black heart,
Going nowhere so it seems.
I wait for the sun to finally rise,
Instead all I hear is a scream.
No escape from this pain,
No one hears my faint cry.
It's all just a part of my dream,
No hope left to just carry on.
Look down and deep, what do you see?
A broken shell down on his knees.
How deep the river of my own fate,
In the silence of the hour so late.
2007-12-26 09:09:02 · 10 answers · asked by The Dark Prince 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
You know SDP you write from your heart and you KNOW many, many, people love you and the poetry that just falls from you is truly exceptional. It is a great deal of insight I get from your poetry and much of it just blows me away with the feelings that reading one of your poems elicits.
"Look down and deep, what do you see?
A broken shell down on his knees.
How deep the river of my own fate,
In the silence of the hour so late."
This was the stanza in this poem that really spoke to me.
Thank you for sharing
2007-12-27 05:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by Poetry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you wished upon a star and your wish didn't come true so now your down on your knees a pitiful mess unable to focus or even address;
The simpleness of life as it passes you by in world full of dismal uncaring compromise.
The world isn't fair, The world isn't right, the world doesn't like you, the world is hell.
Sit in a corner sort out life take what is best leave the rest to the night;
Don't care about materials fame fortune are just myths if you have a single spark of love its a reason to live.
Good night to you i hope i have answered your quandary and not left you feeling ashamed.
Love is the answer. Your poem is good if not a little dark.
2007-12-26 18:16:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow Baby what a totally fantastic poem and it has sadness but it so has hope for the future too' in it..I had to read it 3 times again as my tears were falling as i read this beautiful words you so eloquently put down here..i know how your life has not been an easy task for you' but i see a great many things for you ' so that shell of a man will be gone for a long time to come..Love you Shelly
2007-12-26 17:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have never seen such sadness and despair in poetry and it was brutal to the bone,The words you have described are how my heart feels at times too.I know if i lost something i loved that was so dear to my heart i too would have the same type of horror and sadness in my veins and pumping in my heart .. I believe you still have many great years in your life and you shall find some kind of happiness again.When you least expect it someone will knock you off your feet and your hearts shall beat as one...Very heart wrenching and it really breaks my heart Baby... I Love you Always Peachie 1
2007-12-26 20:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you do not know much about writing poetry, right now. This is not to discourage you from trying again, but to encourage you to try to learn the craft. Read poetry, and read it a lot (I mean the great poets). Learn how to write prose - it's difficult as well, but easier than poetry. Pay attention to all those annoying things like meter, tone, voice, alliteration, metaphor, etc. Before you break the rules you have to master them.
You certainly have a lot of emotion, but the mark of good art is subtlety.
2007-12-26 18:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jordan B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have a star
2007-12-26 17:38:30 · answer #6 · answered by Dondi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
iz so wonderful keep on Writing Steve you have talent
2007-12-26 17:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that just about describes my day today.. its rly great Steve,, keep up the wonderful work.
2007-12-26 20:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by dragonflyy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wonderful...so touching...i really wept....But i would like to say there is always hope for any pain...Only God wants his kid to remember him...
2007-12-28 10:12:01 · answer #9 · answered by Tehseen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is how i feel......oh and i like this one alot....
2007-12-26 22:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by samantha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋