I'm currently 8 months pregnant w/our 1st babygirl. My hubby and I have been married for 2 years and for some reason I ended up checking my email and my hubby's email was left open....I found that he was a member of a infidelity website called Ashely Madison.com. He has his profile pic on there and everything. I have done everything for this man & I am so disgusted by this. It's like I can't be in the same room with him. I am not working right now and he is the breadwinner. We are both 10 hours away from home, so we have no family here.
He's been distant, but not to a point I've suspected him of cheating. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to tell my parents, and I can't rely on anyone....
2007-12-26 08:11:29 · 19 answers · asked by MadameJazzy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Speak with him first about the situation. Let him know you found the site. Let him know how you are feeling. You know we women don't understand how insane it is for our husbands to deal with us during pregnancy. This is not excusing his behaviour. Try couseling. Talk to him or someone from your local church. If he says he wants to work it out and try give him the benefit of the doubt if not pack up and do what needs to be done for you and your infant daughter. All I am saying is there is always a reason why. Just ask and be honest with yourself and him. Try to make it work. I wish you the best. Peace and Blessings.
2007-12-26 08:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all--you have no evidence that he's cheating. You're just speculating. Later stage pregnancies and the first few months after delivery strain relationships, but they don't end them. You probably don't want to read this but you may be paranoid. You don't need to be worried about this right now. Keep you mouth until after the baby is born and see what happens then. If he is cheating, it will come to you. If you find out for certain that he is then you have some decisions to make. 10 hours is not a long ways from home. Maybe you should take a break and go home just after the baby is born to (1) get some help, (2) give him a chance to break his own neck or (3) get some much needed time apart if each other is all you both have.
2007-12-26 08:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by Neva N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he hasn't cheated... yet... but clearly he's thinking about it. You definitely need to discuss this with him in a calm, non-confrontational way. Start by explaining that you weren't snooping... the email was just left up and you happen to see it. If he thinks you were snooping he's bound to get upset immediately. Find out where his heart is in regards to your marriage and your child. That's of paramount importance right now.
If he admits anything to you or says he wants a divorce, then let him go unless he is willing to pursue counseling in an effort to save the marriage. Don't stay together for your little girl because so much resentment will build up between you that your little girl will pay the price for it. If you have to, go back to your family... you have no job to lose and once you're there and have recovered from the delivery you can start looking into finding work and becoming an independent single mom. Don't be afraid of that... it's far better than being stuck in a marriage that went south very quickly and would continue to get worse.
2007-12-26 08:19:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would start by consulting an attorney and talk to a trusted friend or family member. What your husband is doing is not okay. If it is safe to confront him about what he has done then you should do so and insist that he see an marriage counselor with you. With a baby on the way, you should not have to put up with this behavior. He needs to grow up and be a man. If he can't take responsibility for his actions and commit to his family then I ask a judge to order him from the home. Under no circumstances should you leave the house. A judge needs to make him leave.
2007-12-26 08:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by kvcar2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he knows you have noone... this is why he did what he did, he thinks you HAVE to stay with him no matter what he does... he has you trapped!!!
me, being who I am, and knowing from experience... leave, just go, don't give him a chance to explain, don't give him a chance to state his reasons, because, there are no reasons!!! none!!!
he does this now, imagine after the child is born and crying at 2 am... how is he going to react then??? hmmm... my guess is he is looking for a sleeze to run around with while you are at home taking care of this little baby =(
I would not want a man in the birthing room with me who has not really been there for me, 100 percent... truely... fooey on him... staying with this man will only cause stress on you and this child... and high blood pressure! I know!
he does not deserve to see the birth of this child... he can see the baby after it's born... and that's that... and that's only after you make him get counseling because a good father and a good husband does not act like this toward the child's mother (his wife)...!
this will continue, it's not just because you are pregnant... some guys at work probably brag about this crap so now he does it... what a loser... capital L!
2007-12-26 08:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sometimes stressful in marriage during the anticipation of a child. It is hard to say whether your husband is just a cad, or he is having issues that can be resolved. That said, please don't make this hard on yourself.
Honestly, I would wait to do anything until after the baby is born. I know that is hard, but during that time you can pay close attention to your husband's behavior and try to determine if he is cheating, or just contemplating it. Note any unexplained absences, or odd behavior.
Also, make an appointment and talk to an attorney about your rights if he should leave and you are left with no income and a new baby.
After the baby is born, you must approach him and tell him you know what he is doing. What you do next will depend on his response. Good luck.
2007-12-26 08:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
confront him. But be prepared for him to be on the defense. Either way there is no good reason for him to be on a website like that. Like someone stated, either he's cheating or thinking about it. If you decide to remain with him just be prepared for what him possibly cheating. Or not! And don't bring it up again if you stay because it was your choice. I would think long and hard about it before making any life changing decisions. The pic and profile is crystal clear though.
2007-12-26 08:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by sissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONFRONT HIM. You need to make this decision after you speak with him. I understand you don't need the stress especially now and the distance you are from your family doesn't help, but after talking with him and seeing where he is with your marriage you can make the decision of what you would like to do. I know its hard to tell your family something like that especially now that a child is involved but if they are good people they will be there for you. Maybe someone can come and pick you up since you cannot fly right now. Or maybe you and your husband feel you can work through it which I applaud, just don't stay because of your child. This comes from personal experience if you stay with him because of your child you will resent him and feel like he is only with you because of the baby and its a horrible feeling. Now, if you feel like he loves you and is staying for you both and you feel like you can start fresh with him go ahead. I will keep you in my prayers and Good luck.
2007-12-26 08:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him with what you found, but be prepared for him to get upset about you looking at his e-mail. Stick to your guns and ask him what's going on. He may come clean, or he may deny everything. But he's not going to have a profile and photo on a cheating Web site if he's not either already cheating or at least looking to do it.
Tell your parents if you're close enough. And then pack your things and go home if you don't think you can trust him again. Or, if you do, stay with him and try to work it out. But talk to someone you're close to.
2007-12-26 08:16:07 · answer #9 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may desire to ask your self what you may desire to be greater stressful approximately, him probably being killed or him getting some on the facet at the same time as deployed. the possibility of him stepping into difficulty over there for cheating if caught is extreme, so it quite is not properly worth it in my opinion. on the different hand, he's in possibility of dying customary and that i could assume maximum females could be greater stressful approximately his risk-free practices than if he's cheating. you be attentive to your husband greater advantageous than any individuals right here. in the journey that your husband is prepared to cheat on you in Iraq or Afghanistan then he could probable cheat on you interior the U. S.. you in simple terms could desire to have confidence and help him now in view that he would be long gone for a protracted time.
2016-10-09 05:18:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋