Please help.....?

Question

Please help, my husband and i have been married for 2 years we have kids. I stay at home because he doesnt want me to work, he works full time. I just found out my grandmother has 2 months to live i was going to go down to where she lives to say my goodbyes my husband was going to take a couple days off work to watch the kids while i went down he is now telling me to not go that he is not taking off because it will effect his pay. We arent hurting for money if he took the days off we could still pay out bills and have like $1000.00 left over. What should i do or say to him to help me out.

Sorry i didnt mention this but i cant take my kids with me becuase the route i have to take to go to her house is dangerous if it snows you cant see anything and if i had to pull over and wait i would have my kids in the car in winter my kids are 2 and 3

Answer 1

Be strong, you need to express how important this is and you are GOING! He's your husband and need to respect what is important to you. Yes, he works for money to provide the family but you work physically and emotionally to provide for the family. It's team effort. There's not going to be another chance to say good bye but another day to make pay. Really, if you're not hurting for money then I don't understand. Last resort- Take the kids with you. If you can't take them because of transportation costs, then how about family? friends? that can watch for just a couple of days. I'm sure there is a way.

Answer 2

Your husband sounds like a controlling azzhole. He does NOT have the right to tell you that you cannot go say your goodbyes to your grandmother. But he WILL do that unless you stand up to him and TAKE what you need.

Tell him that you ARE going, and that if he doesn't want to stay home to watch the kids then the kids will just be there by themselves.

Do you honestly stay home because HE doesn't want you to work?? Are you kidding? If you stayed home because YOU don't want to work and because that's what you two decided TOGETHER, then ok. But to stay home because HE doesn't want you to work is ridiculous. Why would you even be married to a man who is that controlling and arrogant? What's wrong with you?

Now get up, grow a backbone, and tell him that you're going to go see your grandmother and it's up to him to take care of the kids while you're gone, period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. And DON'T BACK DOWN.

Before you do that though, get a bus ticket or a plane ticket and hide it, just in case he decides to rig the car so it won't start, or take the keys and hides them. Sounds like something he might do. Don't let that stop you. If he does that, call a cab to come and get you, and get to the bus station or the airport that way.

Answer 3

As a married couple, the both of you need to compromise. Aside from your husband being in the wrong right now... NOT because he doesn't want you to go, but because he already gave a green light, and now is reneging on his own word. He can't do that and expect security in the relationship.

But, in light of all this, try to compromise. Instead of going for the entire time, explain you'll go for only "...." time, so that you can go and do what is needed. He really does need to put you and your family situation as important over "extra" money.

Realize though, that there might have been a problem with his boss, etc. Make sure you are putting those types of external situations in play here.

Make it work.

Answer 4

If you do not go you will regret it for the rest of your life. Go on a weekend, or on your husband's day off. If you realize that you will never see this loved one again, then make it a priority, even if it means compromising.. by having a friend sit with your kids as a special favor while your husband's at work. Or maybe you could bring your children and then leave them with a relative/friend/babysitter while you visit her.

Answer 5

They is something else going on. Anytime a husband or wife doesn't want the spouse to go and see a dying relative, then what's up with that. Ask him to be a man and tell you what is really going on. Pray about it and do what you feel is right. Maybe he doesn't like the dangerous part. Get deep with him, what if it was his grandmother.

Answer 6

Do you have any other family members that can watch the kids? If not, take them with you and not think the worst. Pray about it and go see your grandmother.

Answer 7

Your grandmother is family. Explain that to him. If he is soo worried about pay, ask him . he may be hiding something.

Or! You could all go. If he is not willing to let you go, then you just go. If you love her, you should go. GETS THE STEPPIN WOMAN!

You could grab the kids...they might want to meet her and say goodbyes.

Answer 8

this is serious... have it been like this ? well it seems like he is trying to take control which you should never let him... unless you let him in the past and now he feels like he can what he like when ever he likes. make it very clear to him that your granny is important to you and you are going to see her ....don't let him give you an option cause then it will be trouble. if he still say no...then its up to you if you like that treatment then don't do anything but if you really want to see granny.. get up n go!!!! take your kids if you have to so he wont have an excuse.. he can go to work!!!! okay you can do it:)

Answer 9

Take the kids with you cause that your grandmother..Oh yeah I'm am sorry to hear that

Answer 10

thats a lil messed up. this is a family member who will be dying soon. take the kids with you and go, seriously. go say good bye to your grandmother.