why do people assume white people are trying to be black because they act a certain way?

Question

i go to a predominantly white school and i am black and i am sick of the stereotypes presented by the two different cultures that i am active in. when i hang out with my [black] family they call me white girl n say im sort of stuck up but when i am with friends at school they think i am ghetto and ask me questions about the black culture. this never bothered me before but now it is really getting old. i wish people didnt think that if you are white and you like "black" music you are trying to be white or vice versa. if you have any answers or opinions on this please respond. thanks.

Answer 1

Because the more people can keep pointing out the differences they more each side can blame the other and not take any personal responsibility.
I see and hear it all the time, it is the black persons fault it is the white persons fault it is the other persons fault.
I am sick of it too!!!!

Answer 2

Sigh....been there, done that. And I went through (all white) high school 20 years ago. Back in the 80's, it wasn't just the other kids acting ignorant like that; lots of adults also jumped on the bandwagon. I lived in a really small town and lots of teachers and other adults couldn't figure out why I was in the AP program in high school or why I wanted to go to college at all (idiots!). They figured that I should just have babies (before graduating) and get a job at McDonalds. The kids were also irritating because all they knew about black people was what they saw on TV and they couldn't figure out why I didn't talk or act like that (idiots!). I went to a black university (Hampton) because I was tired of small-town white people in small-town New England. People in college also had ignorant stuff to say about how I wasn't "black enough", but I had developed a tougher and meaner thick skin by then, so nobody ever messed with me more than once.

Just be yourself. Talk how you talk. Act how you act. Wear what you want. Listen to whatever music you like. Cuss out anybody who gets in your face (you will eventually graduate and leave town). It's YOUR life and your happiness. Don't let anyone else mess with your peace of mind or your sense of self.

Answer 3

I grew up with the same problem just reversed. Next time someone says your being 'white' or stuck up, ask them to please explain to you how black people are supposed to behave, and how are you being stuck up? (you'd be surprised how many people won't be able to answer you!) Also tell your family that you are tired of their stereotypes that they impose on you. Same thing with friends at school, if they ask you why do black people_________ (fill in the blank) Ask them if they know what an individual is and then tell them you are not black people you are an individual.
We can't look at TV and movies, or songs to tell us how our cultures should be, we can only look at our family traditions and our morals as what kind of people we are.

Answer 4

whats funny is i seen white people while in the Military that would be like "what up dog" and listen to rap think they are cool. And i would be like hey lets go to this club or lets go up to the Shaw on sunday and they would never go. They wouldnt go to Juneteenth but they wanted to copy what they saw on mtv and BET. Im like if you are intersted in the culture cool but pick up a book too go to events. Be about it dont just talk about it. I hung out with them at the rock clubs or country bar even though it aint my thing but when it was outside there lil box they aint feeling it. All you can do is do your think. I heard someone make a comment about 3 6 mafia wearin rock shirts. like they cant listen to rock

Answer 5

The answer is because the world is full of stupid people. I have always been called a "white girl" because I speak "proper" and lack a "black accent". This started when I was a teen and actually has not stopped in adulthood. You cannot please everybody, be yourself, don't worry about what people think or say pertaining to that, because believe me, in a few years they really won't make a difference in your world.

Answer 6

People are stupid. I mean seriously just be you. You are eho you are and people just have to deal with it. I have a friend the same way. A lot of people think she's stuck up but her white friends thinks she's ghetto. I don't know. I guess it's just how people view things.

Answer 7

The few percentage of white people trying to act black cannot think for themselves and find the "thug" lifestyle to be too glamorous.

...as for the second part; Just be yourself and ignore the ones who are stereotyping you.

Answer 8

Wow. Honeydip's shorter response blew my over elaborated one out of the water. I wish I had the skill of not over elaborating and writing the length of books to explain things. I absolutely agree with Honeydip.

Well, being that you're from a predominantly white school, the most diversity they're probably exposed to is different types of American lifestyles, (music, dressing style, religion, et cetera). Most whites are separated from their heritage unfortunately so they all tend to become one large group of people at times and put themselves into what is called "white culture". <----I hate that term.

But white American teens in general tend to get lumped together and are clueless about other cultures, so when they ask questions like that they are ill minded and are simply curious about a culture that isn't theirs. I don't agree with how they word it.

The only black culture and white culture exists in America. You would not go to Africa or Europe and use those terms, it'd sound dumb. It's like going to Germany and comparing it to Greece, or comparing France to Russia. Same race (largely, despite they've all become integrated like America), different cultures.

The "white culture" and "black culture" have become largely used terms in America, by Americans, when all whites and all blacks (regardless of heritage) are lumped together into one large idealistic "culture" category.

American white culture
American black culture

It seems like some of the whites in your school (or even perhaps most) have lumped themselves in and since they don't know much about the culture(s) of blacks/African Americans, they might put it in a way that might come across as offensive. You should educate them on things like this when they ask questions.

Well, it seems like your family is a little racist towards whites (thinking we are stuck up) that's quite an assumption to make. My boyfriend is Asian American and he gets asked by people a lot why he chose to be with a white girl because we are "stuck up". But he told them it was quite the opposite and that every non white girl he'd been with was stuck up, especially other Asian girls. He said I was the least stuck up girl he'd been with. But people still insist on offering their stereotypes about me, when they don't know me. Any racial stereotype is lame.

As for your friends at school, not everyone will treat you like that and I do hope that you find other friends who will not bring up things like that. There is no specific set mentality or personality for Blacks nor whites, (or any group for that matter) only what a large portion of them try to fit into, or what other people notice and group other people into.

Black culture isn't ghetto. I'm white, grew up in poverty, and that could be considered "ghetto". Unless the context in which they're using the term is "cool" which for some reason people seem to think it is these days, believing it pertains to the style commonly popular amongst many blacks, rappers and RnB artists. It's just a stereotype of course, just as "whites are snobs" is just as much of a stereotype.

You should call both your friends AND family on their crap. I would too. I don't have that issue, I don't come from a racist family, but I did have semi-racist friends (or jealous white-male friends that would comment on my being with an Asian man, and having been with one before the one I'm with now.) They'd get angry I would not date them, and they'd crack jokes stereotyping Asian's, and I'd set them straight. And when they were still a** holes I quit hanging out with them.

Don't sit around and take that crap because if you don't bring it to anyones attention, they're going to keep on doing it and it's not going to get any easier to listen to or tolerate, from both friends and family. Good luck, and have a good new year!

Answer 9

because they want their skin to be black if they had a chance to be reborn black they would do it but they cant so they think that all black people are ghetto and try to act like that. they are stupid.

Answer 10

the same thing happens in mostly black schools if a black student listens to say Marilyn Manson,Mettalica,Nirvana,Billy Ray Cyrus,Kenny loggins ect.