if so why? Or why not?
2007-12-26 07:14:50 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Every person and situation is different. Things are different these days and what is right for one person is not always the right decision for another person.
I can only answer for myself. In my opinion, it is best that I waited until I was married before having children. My husband and I have talked about how the other one feels having children. We discussed this BEFORE marriage and we both understand and agree with the other one. I am not someone who wants kids before marriage.
Personally, I think many people had children too young and they haven't lived life enough to know how to take care of themselves and their new families. I tell people that I would encourage them to live independently for at least a year before having children, getting married or other life altering decisions. You need to know how to take care of yourself before taking on other responsibilities.
2007-12-26 07:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it depends - some religions think you must be married. In some circumstances, that's not possible. People find it harder to break from marriage so it makes a stable partenrship more secure. Sadly soem people marry or have kids either too soon, or with someone they don't really love, and the hardships of marriage and baby destroy the relationship. It's never a good idea to use kids as a cement. But in answer to your question its quite a romantacisms to fall deeply in love, take everything slowly, eventually get married, then have some kids. IMO this is the sweetist, most honest way in life, and the most logical.
2007-12-27 04:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by irashymisfit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having children is a huge responsibility even between two committed parents. Do you have the money and resources to care for a baby? Do you have a plan for the child's care if something happens to you? Can you manage a career and raising a child? Are you emotionally mature enough to handle the stress single parenthood? Is having a child by yourself a substitute for something else? Those are the things that would go into answering that question for myself. If you are a teenager, by the way, then having a baby is just a bad idea period.
2007-12-26 16:05:27 · answer #3 · answered by kvcar2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The important thing is to create a stable loving home for the baby - married or not. Lots of married couples make terrible parents and lots of unmarried couples make wonderful parents and vice versa. The marriage certificate in itself is not going to make anyone a good parent. As long as the parents are in a strong committed relationship and both really want and are able to care for the baby then that is the most important thing.
I would not recommend having a baby if you plan to be a single parent - two parents is always better and will make it easier in all respects. This is not to say the single mothers/fathers don't make good parents - it's just a lot more difficult.
2007-12-26 15:38:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is more and more common for this to go on but it is not the right way to raise a family. The mother and father should be an example to their children as in being married and living as husband and wife while they are raising them not a common-law relationship first off alot of people are using this to get extra money out of the government like the child subsidy checks. Even though they have a mate that could be making a 6 figure income which is pathetic.
I believe it best to be married and in a solid relationship before kids are even considered they are a huge financial a time drainer and who knows maybe the person your with doesn't want them.
2007-12-26 15:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Although it may be somewhat questionable morally, you need to consider the practicality of the situation. A baby is a lot of work, having two people to help carry the burden makes it a lot easier and a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.
Not to mention stability in the child's life. Growing up without a mother or father can be very difficult. It's not to say that every child born out of wedlock will grow up with only one parent, but the chances increase significantly as the two people may not be fully committed to one another.
The implications of having a baby out of wedlock can be life changing. For my wife and I, I cannot imagine having to have gone through two very difficult pregnancies without the benefit of each other.
Remember, life isn't always textbook. There's a lot more to having a baby than waiting 9 months...
2007-12-26 15:24:12 · answer #6 · answered by James S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes it is wrong. a child needs stability in their lives. they need positive role models in their lives where they can look up to that have good values that they can learn. too many times i hear the same excuse "i wasn't ready" "it just happened".. children also need a mom & a dad. they need a value system. my parents had me after they got married 7 have been married for 32 years now.
these are sorry reasons. a baby isn't an accident. if more people would get married first then have kids second i think as a whole society would be better.
2007-12-26 16:59:16 · answer #7 · answered by conan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have mixed emotions about this question, so I will answer both yes and no. My answers are below.
Yes: Having a child is something to cherish. They will always love you no matter what. Holding a little one is the most fulfilling thing there is in life. Yes it will be hard if your a single parent, but when you look at all the good and bad times you will go through, it will be all worth it.
No: It will be very hard to be a single parent. Unless you are rich you will struggle. But the end will always be the same... REWARDING
2007-12-26 15:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is bad but most people highly recommend it because if he doesn't want to take care of the kids one day once you separate than you will automatically get compensation from him but I had three children before I was married and I regret ever getting married because I was doing alot better with my children before marriage and my children wasn't hurt.
2007-12-26 20:43:02 · answer #9 · answered by baby girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child has a much better chance of a healthy development, if he or she is born to a committed, stable, healthy married couple.
If two people love and respect each other enough to get married and are mature enough to handle marriage, then they are probably more than likely stable and mature enough to have a child. This is not guaranteed, but I just think the odds are better in the child's favor.
Marriage first then baby. Not the other way around.
2007-12-26 19:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋