Has anyone ever suffered due to sibling jealousy? Help me please!?

Question

I have 2 sisters (I am a girl..dont mind the avatar) and it seems that they are jealous of me. It is a terrible terrible feeling. I often wondered why they used to exclude me from outings and generally their chat and then a while ago, my mother told me that they are crazy jealous of me. The reasons seem to be that I have a really good job, but it is so unfair as I studied really hard to get this position while neither of them bothered so much. They wanted a social life..boyfriends and all that and I put that on the back shelf to get well qualified. How can I deal with this? Has anyone out there ever experienced this? All I know is that if they do well at anyhthing I am happy for them, I am a caring person but they dont seem to be happy for me when I do well. Why are some people so jealous even of their own siblings? ps it is even infantile..we are not children..we are all over 30 so it is even more hurtful that this carries into adulthood.

Answer 1

they shouldnt of been hangin around boys when they were young they should of been studying. you deserved to have a good job, theyrs just jealous and really bad sisters! talk to your mum about it, see what she says. and also talk to them about it and explain that you dont want it to be like this anymore.

Answer 2

Although it's not your fault, I can understand why you are really hurting. My two sisters, although we are younger than your family, are often similar. I think it's just when two siblings of three have something in common with each other, that the other doesn't have, then it brings them together, and pushes the other out. When I was younger, my two sisters shared a room, and i had my own, which, obviously I'm not complaining about, but they had their little chats and games, etc, and they always stuck up for each other if we argued.

On the other hand, I was sometimes jealous of them for different reasons, and I'm sure at one time or another you have been jealous of your sisters, so you can probably understand what they are feeling, even if you can't understand why.

The only thing i can suggest is if you either all go out for a meal or drink or something, or you invite them both to yours. You could maybe chat it through with them and just try and ask them why they seem to be so jealous of you. You could explain what you said in your question, and tell them that you love them whatever, etc.

Hope it all works out for you.
Good luck xxxx

Answer 3

well to answer your question, honestly, I would need to know how close in age they are together compared to you. You this happens in many family settings due to the fact that siblings that are close in age feel a group or togetherness mentality. You becoming wealthier and in a better more paying occupation has made them who didn't excell work and education the way you did could feel abandoned and left out of your life. This is because you chose to excell outside of the family and social ladder as they didn't. I think that you are all at the age where you need to express your feeling intellegently and if they can't hear you or understand where you are coming from then there is nothing more you can do. yes they are jealous of you. I have a good paying job also and my sister who is a year younger than me is primarily a housewife with a great family Iam more jealous of that since I don't have that in my life but she is jealous of the fact that I was able to do excell outside of the family and has a better paying job. I think you should talk to them and tell them they are still acting like children and you feel this way, upset and sad that they are jealous of you, Now since they are family I don't want to tell you you need to throw your money around but offer to help them get to where you are if that is not an option then there is really nothing you can do it is up to them.

Answer 4

I think that this is more common than anyone realises as its exactly the same with me and my 2 sis and 1 bro. Its like we always have to go one better than each other all of the time but even for silly reasons such as a visit to the doc and i come back with a chest infection then another Will come home with a lung, chest and ear infections. I heard that the jealousy lIEs in what time frame you were born ie; a first born is loved like no other child as this child sets the presence of Te rest like "your bro/sis never done that or your sis/bro always done this whilst growing up, things like that stick with us for life thus the jealousy train in family's, sickening but true i do feel, all the best

Answer 5

My sister voices her jealousy each time we argue or when she argues with mom. She is angry that I am so close to mom and that mom was less strict as I grew up. But, just like your situation, there are obvious reasons why these things occurred. For example, mom had me 13 years later, when she was bogged down with work and not as energetic to be running around scolding me about bad behavior. At the same time, she didn't have to worry too much, because I was a mama's girl and hung around helping her, staying out of trouble. But my sister does not want to accept that answer.

I look at it in this way. If she wasn't my sister, our personalities would clash and we would never be friends, so I don't expect us to be friends. We don't do much together because she does questionable things, while I lead the careful road. She does not want me to judge her actions, so she doesn't invite me, and I know I wouldn't really enjoy myself anyways. At the same time, not hanging out prevents us from getting to know each other. But I do love her, and she loves me. When there's something wrong, we are there for each other and that's what matters.

ps: I'm jealous that my sister is more organized and business oriented, but I try to turn that into admiration and look at her as a role model. This is something she has trouble doing. Perhaps because I'm her little sister.

If you clash with your sisters, then you need to figure out things that you all would like to do. Renting movies and having a "girl’s night" might help. If they think you are inaccessible, take the initiative and ask them to do something with you. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person in order to keep things from falling apart, and once you are, then they might start to ask you to do things with them. Also, since they don’t hang with you, they might ask questions about you that they should know. Keep yourself open for their questions, don’t lock them out because you feel frustrated with them, or else they will make sure to stay out.

Since the summer, my extended family has been having “family meetings.” Some issues have been resolved and I’ve gotten to know everyone a little better, including my sister. We have done the “girl’s night” thing and we’ve gone to the mall together. Still not friends, but we are showing that we care and can enjoy each other's company.

An afterthought: If you are going to confront your sisters about their jealousy. Think about the way you ask them. My sister would bite my head off if I asked "Why are you Jealous of me?" and she would point the blame at me. But if I asked "Why don't we get along?" Then, she wouldn't be on the defense and might reply. You might also want to ask "What can we do to be closer sisters?" Because then you all can brainstorm different ways to resolve this issue. Good luck!

Answer 6

Jealousy= Insecurity, Lack of confidence, Caring too much what others think, I had to dealt with this problem from my older brother, the best way i found to deal with this is to completely separate yourself from them, shut them out of your life as much as you can, i understand they are family so you cant do it completely, but they don't have to be apart of your life on the outside of your family ties, surround yourself with those who will sharpen your sword, not those who dull it, another words, keep those around you who care and are happy for you no matter what, and distance yourself from the selfish folks, so they wont be able to or attempt to sabotage you, which likely they will try.

Answer 7

id say that the best way to battle them is continued kindness. they may be acting immature and insensitive, but as long as you maintain your kind nature, they cant hold anything against you justly. its a very touchy subject--you cant confront them of their jealousy without risking them being offended so sometimes its best to leave things be. instead of waiting for them to invite you out, why dont you invite them to your house for a girls night. you can open up about your insecurities about your life, and say how you WISH you were able to have boyfriends, and show how you are jealous of their lives. this could bring their guards down and open up into a great converstion between you all.

Answer 8

Yes they can be vicious in such a situation.Whatever you do they will criticise you for it,they will mqke your life hell.They will expect to share in your good fortune.But all the unpleasantness stops when you come down to their level.It is a long haul for you but stick it out you deserve it.How do I know all this because I have been a victim and it never got better.

Answer 9

jealousy comes from low self confidence,so try and boost their confidence.