We have been together almost 5 years now. When we first started having sex, it was amazing and non-stop for about a year. We'd be together all the time (sometimes a few times a day). However, in the past few years his sex drive seems lower, while mine has been higher than ever! He knows I have a higher sex drive and we have discussed it before (about a year ago) but I don't know how to bring it up again. I hate being turned down when I try making advances. It's the worst feeling in the world. But if I don't then I never get satisfied! I workout to stay attractive and I'm all about trying new things. I've tried masturbating, but it just makes the drive higher. Is there something I can take to lower mine - or how do I ask him to take supplements w/o offending him?
Things I think may be contributing his lower libido: his higher levels of stress at work (and even more so now that we got our first house together a few months back) and our age gap - I'm in my 20's and he's in his mid 30's
2007-12-26 06:28:21 · 10 answers · asked by Chels 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thanks for the feedback everyone - I really really appreciate your help!
Here's some more info on us that might help in understanding the situation a little better:
We have a really close relationship (amazingly so actually). We are both at a great point in our lives. Love our jobs (even though he's a little over-worked), love our home, barely argue... and are typically very open about things since we are not only lovers, but best friends too. This is just something that is hard for me to express to him, because I don't want him to feel inadequate. But I get so frustrated when he doesn't want me in the same way and it makes me more distant from him which is the last thing either of us wants.
Basically everything is wonderful except the sex... and even that is really good... I just wish it was more frequent. Most times he would rather cuddle (which is great as well, but sometimes that isn't quite as satisfying).
I won't cheat - that's not an option!!
2007-12-26 07:36:48 · update #1
This is not uncommon. And there is no easy solution. He has to want to change the things that are causing the lack of desire. It is not really age related, but as you point out, it is stress. Try some weekends away. Try some Saturday morning love making. Take a shower together, or a bath with candles. It may also be psychological, in which case he needs counseling. And, if you both can handle it, you might want to have an open relationship. Depending on whether you can handle it, you could cheat and never tell. That is not as uncommon as you think. It all depends. But no easy answer. Sorry. Best of luck!
2007-12-26 06:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a high (or extra-high) libido isn't about sex at all. It may be about not getting enough attention in other ways and the sure-fire way to get attention from a man is to come on to him in a sexual way.
This also could be from not having enough really satisfying activities in your life...you work out to stay in shape, but what do you do for your own mental health? What are the real challenges in your life? Is your job just a job, or is it something you love to do?
As for the age gap, may or may not have anything to do with what's going on here. I think some counseling might be a great idea, because I think there are some underlying issues here that need to be brought out.
2007-12-26 06:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only real thing to do is once every 3-6 months find you somebody that will but no attachments just sex. Because work or stress has nothing to do due with it. Sex is a stress buster and if he doesn't want you somebody will and give you all you need to be filled.
2007-12-26 07:28:31 · answer #3 · answered by RL9700 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about the age thing. I'm in my 40's, and my sex drive is at it's all time highest. Seriously.
I can't get enough from my girlfriend, so I sneak to an ex girlfriends a couple of times a week. I know, it's terrible, but what can I do?
Good luck to you.
2007-12-26 06:32:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find new ways to seduce him.Since he is stressed after work make him a nice dinner ,bubble bath and a nice massage followed up with some smooth music,a glass of Merlot and a sexy lingerie.A nice bj always do the trick too.He is still very young however no problem there.
2007-12-26 06:39:38 · answer #5 · answered by rogue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in that boat before and I'm really sorry!!! My husband's drive would always practically disappear when he was stressed...but you need to be able to talk to him about it. You might suggest that he make a Dr appt as well...as this is also a sign of low testosterone levels and seeing that he is in his mid 30's that might be an issue as well. Good Luck!!!
2007-12-26 06:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by HUh?!? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn.........most guys only wish they had a woman like you!!! Here, click on this link and read....maybe it will help you to understand: http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare
2007-12-26 06:35:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take more cold showers.
2007-12-26 06:32:46 · answer #8 · answered by Sunday's Best 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get him viagra, or try a new nightgown...........
2007-12-27 02:55:58 · answer #9 · answered by Rocky B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy a vibrator.
2007-12-26 06:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by hotlilchick1127 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋