ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR TWO YEARS I REALLY LOVE HIM AND ILL DO ANYTHING FOR HIM...LATELY HIS BEEN TALKING ABOUT HOW HE WANTS TO HAVE A BABY....MIND U IM ONLY 16 AND HIS 17...I ASKED HM WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN HE WANTS TO HAVE A BABY...HE STARTED CRYING AND TOLD ME THAT HIS MOM HAS HIV AND THAT SHES REALLY BEEN SICK AND HE DOESNT KNOW HOW MUCH TIME SHE HAS LEFT....AND MORE THAN ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO TO SEE HER FIRST GRANDCHILD...SO MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO GET ME PREGNANT,,,,SHOULD I DO OR NOT
2007-12-26 06:19:29 · 55 answers · asked by ? 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
No i would not do that if it were me. I can't tell you what to do cause it is your life and not mine.
You should not hurry up and have a baby cause someone's health is failing them.
2007-12-26 06:38:51 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want to do. The way you are describing the situation makes me feel that you aren't comfortable with the idea, so don't do it. Even if you love your boyfriend, he obviously doesn't love you enough, as he's asking you to risk screwing up your life. You're only 16, and have many more years of experiance before you can get married and have a steady job to support your children. Basically, it's a choice between giving your life to your baby, which, if it's what you want, is fine, although many may see it as screwing up their lives. The other choice is going to school and making 200,000 dollars a year when you're older. Also, having the baby for the sole purpose of letting your bf's mom see it is not fair. You should have the baby when you're ready and he is. It should be a good moment when you're both comfortable, because it's cruel to your baby otherwise.
2007-12-26 06:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!! What happens should you break up AFTER having had a child together? My advice is to not be having sex with him anyway, so there'll be no worries about having a baby. How in the WORLD does he plan to support this child on a minimum wage job? I highly doubt his mom has HIV. You'd have known about it before now, being you've been together for 2 years. Not only that, if it's JUST HIV and not AIDS, she's really not sick. If she had HIV, she could live out the rest of her days not getting sick. It's when it turns into AIDS that things really go downhill. He needs to do more research before coming up with such bologna. I think he's got other "issues" that need to be addressed. It sort of sounds like he wants to trap you.
2007-12-26 07:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not get pregnant at 16 years old because your boyfriend's mother is ill.
If she was recently diagnosed, she could undergo treatment. being HIV positive does not mean you're going to die.
Everyone will die eventually, no one knows when that time will come. I think you should stay 16 and not have children until you are ready. You have so much time to have a baby.
And not to be rude, but if his mother DOES pass away, how will that effect you and your baby's lives? She'll be gone, but you'll have a kid to deal with for 18+ years.
Lastly, get yourself tested for HIV if you're having unprotected sex. SOmething about this guy talking about his mother having HIV and being so adamant about having unprotected sex to have a baby is startling.
GOOD FOR YOU for asking the question first before just doing what he wants!
2007-12-26 06:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by dianadoops 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, honestly hun, the only time that you and your bf should have a baby is when you both want to. As harsh as this sounds but you don't need to please his mother. Also think about the future, if ur bf's mum hasn't got long left, then when her time comes, your bf is going to be in a bad way for a while meanwhile you'll have to cope with being either heavily pregnant or with a newborn kid and you won't have as much support as you would need from your bf because his mum will be dying. You need to wait for you both to be ready. And when that time comes you need to both be equally ready with no pressure.
Also, HIV is contagious, how long has his mum had this? because it can pass through to a baby-ur bf- in the womb and the mums breastmilk. So if you two have already done 'it' then theres a chance it could be passed onto you aswell.
I don't want to worry you but if this is the case then you need to get checked out.
2007-12-26 06:39:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are 16 and he is 17 you are too young to have a child. It is really sad about his mom, but you shouldn't have to take on the responsibilitly of a child when you are so young.
If you are questioning it, you just aren't ready. Yes, his mom would see her first grandchild, but your life would never be the same and you would spend the next 18 years raising this child.
2007-12-26 06:25:45 · answer #6 · answered by Valerie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie.....HELL NO!!! Do you really want to put that burden on yourself? What happens after she passes on? What kind of life are you, the baby, and baby-daddy gonna have? You can't have a baby just to make her happy. I feel bad that she's dying, but this is not fair to you or yr boyfriend and ultimately not fair to any child brought into this situation. It's beautiful that you want to help, but this is beyond helping. If he keeps insisting, then you need to break up with him. You are too young to care for a baby. You're still a baby yrself. If you stay with him, get some birthcontrol pills because I have a feeling he will try to get you pregnant if he can.
2007-12-26 06:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by TwilightTwin2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is VERY simple, NO! Even tough he has reasons, the fact that his mom's got HIV is not a valid one. People who decide to have babies should be married or in a grown up stable relationship, with stable jobs, house, etc. Babies are very expensive and require a lot of attention. I don't think you wanna waste your teen years being a mommy, you still have so much to live, study, go to college, meet people, etc. Babies are the result of love, commitment and a lot of responsibility. Your Bf is being very selfish and I don't think it's right to ask you such thing. I'm sorry to tell you this but chances are really low that you are gonna end up marrying him, he's your HS BF, but you will meet a lot of guys before you meet THE ONE. Trust me, and don't make stupid mistakes, think about you and your life first. You are always first. Those are his issues and you can help him by being supportive and in other ways. Getting you pg is not the solution. What are you gonna tell your parents when you tell them you are pg at 16? would you dissapoint your parents just cause your Bf wants to have a baby? He needs to grow up.
2007-12-26 06:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I actually believe that his heart is in the right place as is yours but he is asking you to make a life altering decision in response to his grief over his mother. If you guys were married and/or older and more settled in life and thinking of starting a family anyhow I would say "by all means - get to it". You guys are just so young. I sympathize with his desire. I lost my grandparents before they could see me get married or have a baby. It does hurt. Still, I don't think they would have wanted me to do this before I was ready and his mother must know that a 17 year old young man is not ready.
The best thing that I can think of would be to give him a hug and a kiss, let him know that you really understand where he is coming from and see if maybe he would talk to a grief counselor?
Does he believe that his mother will still be around to watch over all of you (after she passes?) in which case you could let him know that whether she sees the baby in this physical world she will get to watch over it from another. Another option is to talk about waiting until you guys are truly ready for a child and possibly naming the child after her to honor her at a later date?
I hope that this helped. In addition to getting some counseling for him it might be good for you to find someone yourself. I think that it is great that you are reaching out here on Yahoo Answers but someone with a little more insight into what your boyfriend is dealing with and why might be helpful for you. Also, it may be good to have a sounding board for your feelings not just what he wants.
Take good care of yourself and think - you have your whole life ahead of you. Make good decisions, be true to your values and life will be good.
2007-12-26 06:32:34 · answer #9 · answered by Ariel36 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you talk to his mom and him together about it and ask yourself do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? and HIV won't kill a person in two months like cancer but what happens is she just starts to get really sick and she dies slowly over time not right away especially if she has the right treatment plan for her self but if she is dying talk about it with your parents and his and see what you can figure out. you don't need to have a baby now you are still young and if you have a child while your still young their can be complications. but if you and your family decide to do this try to get married first. good luck!
2007-12-26 06:41:53 · answer #10 · answered by ☆☃❀ ~♥~♪ tigger bitten ♪~♥~ ❀☃☆ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't you dare!!! You are way too young and soo is he. I think he needs some counseling. I understand that he wants to give his mom a grandchild, but I am sure she does not want this either. There is plenty of time for all of that. He has to know that even though she MAY not be around when he has kids her spirit will be.
2007-12-26 08:00:24 · answer #11 · answered by mamarivers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋