specifically my 401 k.i wanted to take a loan but they said i need her signature.is there ANY way around this.are there any mistakes people make that you can warn me of.i dont mind giving my wife her fair share but she is angry as hell because i aint running back to her cheating @zs.help men of the world.i live in new york city.i know rules are different in each state.
2007-12-26 05:48:01 · 12 answers · asked by hyung a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You NEED her signature. No way around it. Otherwise, what would stop you from liquidating your assets before divorce?
2007-12-26 05:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by Shadow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation. After many years of marriage things can get a bit predictable and boring, and someone new showing you affection is very flattering. The feelings you get can be overwhelming, but it doesn't mean you should give up on what you have. You say your husband is a good guy, and they are hard to find, you have a history with him, and you have your kids. I was tempted to leave, and it would have been a terrible mistake, I can see that now, even though I still have feelings for this other person. I am now working on improving my marriage. I couldn't hurt my kids like that by leaving. You are infatuated with the other man. He wants kids, he will resent you for depriving him of them. What makes you think things will be better if you live with him? Think about this. Would you still want to leave your husband, if you didn't have someone else to go to? If the answer is no, then you owe it to your family to try to resolve things. Don't throw it all away for an infatuation.
2016-04-11 01:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to give you legal advice. Get a real attorney.
Below is a short but interesting site that may help.
I've heard that all debts that happen during a marriage become part of the community property. Check with your attorney- what would happen if you ran up a lot of credit card debt? When it comes time to settle up, you'd have a bunch of money in the 401k, but you'd also have a lot of debt. She'd get half the 401k but would have to pay off half the debt. Just a thought, one that you really need legal counsel before you implement.
The other bit of advice is to make sure you get what you want with the children. Don't get hosed by family courts. Again, this is what you need an attorney for.
Good luck ...
2007-12-26 06:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by going_for_baroque 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to check into whether your state is a no fault state. Contact an attorney. That's the BIGGEST mistake I think most people make-- they wait too long, or don't get one at all. Get a good one-- they are worth it. I had a sorry one, and I paid for all kids of services, and he didn't provide me with ANYTHING useful. Separation date matters in NC. What you jointly own (debts, assets, property, accts), ALL divide from the date of separation. If it is her fault only, she may not be entitled to as much anyway. It's all circumstantial. Does she have an income? You will already be paying child support. Do you have concrete proof she is cheating?? That will help-- even in a no fault state most of the time. Good luck!
2007-12-26 05:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the state of TN if you are married you must get your spouses signature when requesting a loan from your 401k. Also, she could ask for half of your retirement funds. My ex did and I just laughed. I was the one that worked for that money. Good luck it will get nasty before it gets over. You have to look at it just like any business deal. Take care of business and stand up for your rights. You cannot rely on your attorney to do that. I learned that the hard way.
2007-12-26 05:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by waterfan09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do to help yourself is to hire a lawyer.
They are probably right about the 401k but you must check with a lawyer in your state for a definite answer.
Other things - don't threaten her or try to coerce her; remember that your kids should not be in the middle; get at least 50% time with the kids; ask that as part of the decree she be required to account to you, with receipts, for how child support is spent; do all you can to avoid paying alimony (maintenance)........
2007-12-26 05:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry mate but I don't know of any good advice I could give you regarding the laws, 401k, loans etc.
One thing though, make sure your kids know their dad now and for the rest of their lives. Be active in their lives and train them to be good, productive citizens. If they have a mother like you say, they will need you EVEN MORE!
Sorry about your circumstance and good luck to you!
2007-12-26 05:54:18 · answer #7 · answered by blue boy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all file for separation and don't take any money that belongs to the both of you especially if her signature is required it will make you look bad in court try to be friendly for the kids sake and DO NOT bad mouth her in front of the kids it only makes you look bad don't argue and tell them if they ask that you just can't be together anymore because you don't get along and make sure you tell them it's not Their fault
2007-12-26 05:55:24 · answer #8 · answered by jaymi7727 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Concern yourself more about being a Dad....not money. I don't mean that in a hurtful way my friend. Your children will always be there and will need you. I've been where you are and the money meant crap to me. My children are closer to me now than to her cheating @zs.
2007-12-26 06:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
best is to work out your problems if not for you - for the kids - they need you. Financially divorce will prove very costly.
2007-12-26 05:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋