It might sound sad but I want some totally objective advice
Ive recently moved in with my fiance. We're both 20 and have been together over 3 years. It might sound young but we know what we want. Or I thought we did at least.
We've always been happy, and like everybody else had the odd big argument here and there over the years.
Recently, since moving in, it's all arguments, all the time. My theory is that the financial stress of our first home is making everything seem worse than it is. Another is that she simply wasnt ready for the financial commitment and blames me for it.
She says I've become grumpy and impossible to be around and I'm not nice to her anymore. Funny thing is I feel the same towards her at the moment.
I could see things going wrong and I tried to make an effort, but she ended it. On Christmas Eve. She's stopped wearing her ring and wants me to move out.
Part of me wants to just leave, no matter how hard it will be to sell up and have to start..
2007-12-26 05:36:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
over again, but most of me wants to make it right. The problem is I cant tell whether the relaionship is dead or whether it's just suffering due to the situation.
I also cant get out of her whether she simply doesnt like me as a person anymore or whether it's the way Im acting she doesnt lke.
I'm in a horrible mess and Im only getting angrier and more upset. I've been a right bastard all day out of sheer anger.
I really dont know what to do.
One minute Im trying to be nice to salvage it and the next, because she's giving me nothing back, I'm being cold and not speaking.
I'm really stuck
2007-12-26 05:38:56 · update #1
NB she wants me to leave short term to give her space. I say if we're going to fix this we need to do it together and my leaving would end up permanent. I say if I leave it will be after the house is sold any everything is split.
I don't think 'breaks' exist, I think breakups do
2007-12-26 05:40:53 · update #2
I think you guys should take a break for a litte bit. Not break up but just stay away from each other. Then you'll realize your feelings for each other when you're away from each other. If it hurts, go back and talk to her. If you're fine, then I guess it's done.
2007-12-26 05:42:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! My husband and I started young too, we got married at 19. It has been hard, but worth it, we've been married 10 years now and together for 13. First of all you need to sit her down and tell her everything you just wrote here, being very honest. Then ask her to be honest with you and see if you separate all of the anxiety and pressure of financial issues, will she miss you when your gone. Living together is hard to adjust to, especially when finances stress both of you out. The relationship ends up falling into the category of stressful things instead of like before when it was just about the 2 of you. My husband and I went through the same thing and we actually ended up losing our first home because of it and ruining our credit, but we learned through that, that if we love each other enough then that was the most important thing. We ended up moving into a tiny little place that we rented and it was crappy, then we turned off the cable too to save money and we found that once we removed all of that we had plenty of time for each other and "other" things" if you know what I mean. The experience was humbling to say the least. Hopefully, your situation will not come to that and you guys can be honest and work through it together, but keep in mind that if you really love her, losing everything else is worth it as long as you don't lose her. Good Luck! Hope this helped.
2007-12-26 13:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by begood1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a couple argues all the time, do not speak to each other at all, criticises and have nothing kind to say to each other then just let it go. She has asked you to move out i feel you should respect her wishes. It is not the end of the world. Hundreds of people go through the same scenario but work at it to make it work , sometimes it does work, sometimes not. If you are not happy together anymore then best end it. I wish you joy and happiness and may the New Year hold new friendships and love for you.:)
2007-12-26 13:43:11 · answer #3 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps some time apart will help you both see things more clearly.
It's a bit harsh to end things on Christmas eve.
If your meant to be together it will happen and if not it'll be easier to sort now than further down the line. I know what it's like more than you think, I wish you luck and happiness.
2007-12-26 13:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound as if you are both too immature and in-experienced to make it work. If you can't make it work after a short time living together and with no children, imagine what it will be like in ten years time with children.
The reality is that unless you both change radically then your relationship is going nowhere fast.
2007-12-26 14:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When things go wrong mate . Look at is this way . How long is life ? You get one life so if it dont work start over and try again and again ,
Loads of girls in this world .
2007-12-26 13:39:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
make no problem of it - just sell up and move out buddy and start all over again!!
p.s. she'll respect you more if you give what SHE wants!!
2007-12-26 13:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by hillman_avenger2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think with your head on this one. You are just not compatible to live together.
2007-12-26 13:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're well past the point of when you should have given up on this relationship.
The sooner you do, the better for both of you.
2007-12-27 11:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋