This year, my husband and I only bought gifts for our immediate family. But, when we spent Christmas day with all of his extended family, we received gifts from them. (We had nothing to give in return, and I have to say, I felt rather jerk-ish!) Should we put some gifts in the mail and call it "Merry New Year" or just let it go? The reason we did not buy for EVERYONE is because we both felt the gift thing can get really out of control, and sort of didn't want to deal with it this year. Plus, we recently put out a large sum of money on some purchases for our home. So, I need some opinions. And please, no lectures about the choices we made, just thoughts about what we could/should do now. ;-)
2007-12-26 05:33:00 · 28 answers · asked by theMrs. 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
A lot of people mentioned drawing names for gifts, so I though I should add this... we don't see this side of the family every year. As I'm sure a lot of people do, one year is with my family, one year with his. We try to alternate, but even that is tough because often my husband has to work on the holidays. It just happened that this year he didn't. That was sort of another reason why I didn't go all out with gifts...we only see these people once every year or two.
2007-12-26 05:47:26 · update #1
Send thank you cards and stand by your decision. The reasons you didn't buy presents hasn't changed. If you were gracious you have no reason to feel bad. If the people that gave you the gifts are so petty that they were keeping score cards of who gave to them and who didn't then it won't matter what you do after the fact anyway.
2007-12-26 05:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sarcastibitch 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lol, no dude, you're not a jerk. The guy's just not patient, inconsiderate or decisive enough. If anything, he's the real jerk. I mean, how can he realistically expect to get his shoes back if he's A) too busy to pick it up himself at your place and B) wants you to go over to his place without considering that it's HIS shoes, it's also a pain in the @ss for you to get there and you got your own life (he's not the only human being in the world that is busy), and that you already made an effort to get them back to him but it was his fault that it didn't work out and it would only be fair now that he makes the effort this time. Though I would have personally just driven there regardless whether he's home or not and left them on his front door/mailbox or backyard. Then text him later to say that I dropped them just so I can finally get him off my freaking back. And THEN delete his contact and block his number. The guy really should get professional help with his disorder before he starts dating anyone in the first place. I understand it's not his fault but he can't honestly expect to find anyone when he has the mentality of a toddler. And 80% of the people on Y!answers are here because they're bored...or procrastinating like me. Haha.
2016-05-26 08:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by scarlett 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late now and if they didn't say anything about a gift exchange then you shouldn't feel bad. My inlaws family does that to us too and we just aren't in a postition to buy ALL those gifts. It's life...sorry ...maybe they would like to buy your new washer so yuo can have money for gifts.
Some people will give gifts without expectation of something in return so don't feel bad...just prepare for next year and that doesn't mean you have to buy them gifts.
Send a nice thank you note and just let them know that you were unaware that they would be exchanging gifts and you feel bad that you didn't have things for everybody. Right now you are putting together your new home and so christmas was on a immediate family basis.
Next year make a big batch of cookies or bring some really cool dessert
2007-12-26 05:47:36 · answer #3 · answered by emtalex 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's too late to gift now. It'll be obvious that the gifts are an embarrassed afterthought.
How about working out something for next year well in advance? Whether you draw names, give a gift for the whole family, exchange only food gifts, or whatever else works so you don't all go broke and/or crazy, talk with the families BEFORE the holidays.
2007-12-26 05:39:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well the obligation feeling is always there. People should give what they feel, it is not a holiday of reciprocation only.
If you still feel bad, by all means send some gift cards with a letter about how you enjoyed the holiday. Or take them out to dinner etc.
To keep things from getting out of control, some people are actually buying their immediate family less, and letting others know what their kids are asking them for.
2007-12-26 05:41:07 · answer #5 · answered by sippers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have family over and a big dinner with everyone and tell them NO GIFTS thats not what christmas is about . We all get together ,eat, play games ( have a few drinks ) and nobody is under pressure and it works great .Also we always keep a few boxes of chocolates tucked away just in case some shows up with something. I would leaveit alone but make it clear next year , a nice thank you note would let them now you appreciated it .
2007-12-26 05:47:24 · answer #6 · answered by cozycrit741 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't feel that way, but I would suggest that everyone draw names since this can be a problem. If it is bothering you that badly then send them a gift. I know how you feel as we had numerous expenses this year and not enough to buy everyone a present. I agree with everyone else about just letting it go if it were me.
2007-12-26 05:36:52 · answer #7 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must agree with you...gifts are HEADACHES. Don't take the trouble of sending gifts. Just play cool and send them greeting cards instead (handmade prefferable if u have the time!) There's nothing to feel "jerkish". Gifts are so artificial...its the thought that really counts. Merry christmas!
2007-12-26 05:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if these are people that u see all the time then I would just send "thank you cards"..and find out each ones birthday from your husband and send a small gift to each one on there birthdays....I don't give gifts to the adults in the family I wait until there birthday to send as gift that way you can spend on one person at a time with out breaking the bank!!! don't stress yourself out..been there done that and have a tattoo to prove it.
2007-12-26 05:48:21 · answer #9 · answered by ladytee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the next time you stop by there (or make a special trip) drop off a Baker's pie, a cassarole or some dish you enjoy making.
I gave up on the gift giving thing long ago. We all understand the gifts are for the kids. Food is for the adults.
2007-12-26 05:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by sophieb 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋