my husband slapped my leg (hard) while we were playing a game with guests to get my attention. I can't get past this. It was very humiliating. I don't know what to do. I'm giving him the silent treatment because he thinks he said he's sorry and I should be able to get over it.
2007-12-26 05:20:50 · 22 answers · asked by kazer4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him straight up and straight forward that it HURT and that it embarressed you. Don't yell it or sob it out but just say, plain as day, "Honey, when you slapped my leg it really hurt and it embarrassed me in from of everybody and I would appreciate it even you didn't do that again."
Simple and to the point. And it's not abuse. But if you let it slide and don't speak up it could turn into it.
2007-12-26 05:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by Avelyn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends if it was a love tap or a slap in an aggresive way. It's hard to say you know the way it felt and the look he gave you also you know your husband and you know if he meant this in a bad way. I do understand that this humiliated you in front of people there is another way he could have gotten your attention but don't just think he is abusive because of this
2007-12-26 05:29:28 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly would let it go. I'm sure there wasn't any malice behind it and I'm sure he's sorrier that your hurt by what he did, then sorry for what he did. It was innocent, it's not like it happens often and I'm sure you survived without any bruises or cuts. The best thing you can do is be honest. Let him know that you would appreciate it if he'd keep his hands to himself or to tap you on your arm next time.
I think your more upset that he did that in front of company and it made you feel dumb, then you are upset that he put his hands on you. Because I am sure you have either smacked him when you two were joking or when he said something mean. It happens. Get over it and make sure he understands that you don't want it to happen again.
2007-12-26 05:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can be if you said no or not to do it?
If it was done in playing maybe he really didn't mean it and you know reporting abuse is more humiliating if it comes out to be a false report.
Silent treatment is OK but you may want to talk to him about it to be sure it Never happens again
2007-12-26 05:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt go as far as bringing the abuse card out in this situation. i myself have slapped my wives leg pretty hard but the thing is i didnt mean to do it as hard as it did. my wife told me she didnt appreciate it and i said i was sorry it wasnt intentional and from there on i only slap her a s s i guess its more sexual so i can get away with it. if this is the first time i just suggest talking to him about it very seriously. but if this is how he trys to get your attention and yes it was to get ur attention then thats abuse.... but a one time accidentaly to hard with a little to much ummmppphh is just a conversation fixer.. hope this helped
2007-12-26 05:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to increase problems in your marriage and make them worse, by all means, continue this silent treatment approach. If that's what you think you should do, perhaps you need another slap, this time across the face. Tell him what your problem is and listen to what he has to say. If he apologizes, then grow up and learn to accept an apology. If he's insincere try showing him the kind of sincerety you need.
2007-12-26 05:29:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does he beat you like that often?
Come on I think your making too much of it. Has there ever been a time when your joking and teasing eachother and you slap his arm just a little too hard ... it happens. He apologized thats a big deal most men just would say get over it and thats it.
2007-12-26 06:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, it is borderline abuse. if he did it once, and in context with the game you were playing, it isn't okay, but it is something forgiveable. if it happens often, and for no provocation, yes it is full on abuse. unfortunately the silent treatment seldom works. if you are bothered by something, hurt by something, offended by something, speak up. and speak up until that behavior has been changed. three year olds say they are sorry. adults has for forgiveness and say, and mean, they will never do it again.
2007-12-26 05:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The "silent treatment" doesn't do anything to solve any problems in your relationship and marriage. You need to talk to him, let him know what is on your mind. That is the only way mature adults can resolve their issues.
2007-12-26 05:25:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just my opinion but I think it was abusive, both physically and emotionally. He had no right to hit you, and humiliate you in the process. I don't think my husband would ever do that. If he did, I would give him one warning not to ever do it again, and if he did, I would leave.
Often, abuse starts with "playing around." Please be careful.
2007-12-26 05:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋