Help! Pregnant/Stress/Husband?

Question

I know my hormones are raging. They are doubling very quickly and it could possibly be twins BUT my husband gets upset with me and yells when I am moody. I don't think he knows anything about what I am going through when I am pregnant and its making me start to hate him! I feel alone in this pregnancy (its my first pregnancy).

I hate when he makes plans that involve me without asking me. It drove me crazy. He wanted to bring people over without even checking with me. We have a weird tradition where we serve coffee, food, etc when guests come and I had really bad back pains and was hurt and felt that he just doesn't care about me.

I then cry because I feel bad for the baby that he isn't taking care of me the way he should when I am pregnant and I am starting to hate him!

Help!

All of your answers are really great. Thank you!

To help him understand I will also rent out some movies that he can learn about what a pregnant women goes through. He isn't a big reader and a fairly busy so a movie will work out better.

Answer 1

Of course your husband gets upset when you get "moody". He does not know how you feel; he has never been and will never be pregnant. He will have to be unusually patient and understanding with you at this time. And you will have to remember this is all new to him, too. His wife has become a different person.

Making plans without asking you is inconsiderate at any time, but doubly so when you are pregnant. Ask him not to do that again.

I don't know you or your husband, but if you are having babies, it seems likely that you do love each other. You will be very emotional during your pregnancy, and you should both be prepared for that. Try not to fight, you will not be pregnant forever, and things will get better.

Answer 2

That's how my husband was at first. I had to tell him how I felt. It's the best way... let him know that when you want to entertain he should help you serve coffee or food, and you're so much more tired and sore when your pregnant. Let him know that sometimes you just won't be in the mood to have people over.
Don't hate him. He just doesn't understand, by telling him, you help him to understand.

P.S. Make SURE he comes to all ur appointments. Once my hubby saw how the baby was growing and squishing my organs... and how he would kick me all the time... he started to take care of me better.

Answer 3

It sounds to me like he's just as stressed out about your pregnancy as you are. And it's making him start to act different.

I've never been pregnant, with me being only 14 and all. But your mood swings can make you feel like you hate your husband but you know you really don't.

Just give it a little more time into the pregnancy. He will get used to your mood swings eventually, and learn to fulfill your needs as a soon to be mother, a wife, and a person.

Hope it goes well.
:]

Answer 4

You need to have a talk with him about your expectation and about the yelling. Also, let him know that having twins is very exhausting on the body and that it would be nice to let you know in advance about company coming over. Having twins and not getting the proper rest will create strain on your pregnancy and can lead to on the baby's not being healthy enough for birth. Last thing your moods will swing back in forth but this is acceptable they will decrease.

Answer 5

Well I was where you are about 6 years ago with our first child. If your husband has never been with or been around a pregnant woman then he does not have any clue what you are and about to go through. Both emotionally and physically. If your husband will sit down with you try talking to him about how much your body is going through and how HE can help you. Or if he can take suttle hints buy a book called the Idiots guide to pregnancy. Both of us loved the book & helped him understand my position. Keep writing if it doesn't work. You'll get through it, it will end I promise.

Answer 6

i know what u r going through i was the same way with my first child and now i am going through it with my second one. Men just dont understand women and they dont want to listen to them when they try to explain to them what is going on in their body while being pregnant. sometimes i wish that the men could be pregnant for just one day bc thats all it would take and they would realize real quick how we feel and what we r going through!! And when we get our feelings hurt and start crying they want to make fun of us and that just makes it worse but it will soon be over with and hopefully things will return back to normal for u! good luck! if u need to talk u can email me or IM me and if im home and available i will chat with u!

Answer 7

Have you guys gone to Pregancy/parenting classes yet? There are also internet sites for dads-to-be and you can print some of the info off and randomly leave it out for him to read. It may be that he's just as stressed out about the baby and doesnt know how to show it or let it go. Have you sat him down and had a heart to heart talk about the things that are bothering you? He may not know what he needs to do to help you out and his selfish attitude may have to do with the fact that he knows his freedom will be no more when the baby is born and needs to get it out of his system.
So my advice is to sit him down and talk to him about how you are feeling and to refer him to some dad-to-be websites to look through because they normally have good suggestions for him on how to better handle your mood swings.

Answer 8

well if he did tell you hes inviting friends over just think of how stressed you would have gotten to prepare for everything and when you think hes being annoying its probly just the hormones n all you need is rest and good luck with ur kid(s)

you should try to do some things on your own and when you need help ask him for the hard stuff and make sure you guys hang out and try not to get irratated

Answer 9

get a big pillow case and fill it with anvil or something heavy and make him wear that the whole day. also invite guest without asking him and have him do what you do for the day. maybe that should wake him up and will know what it feels like being pregnant. and he should be happy about the pregnant.

Answer 10

I JUST WENT THROUGH THE SAME STRESS ABOUT 9 MONTHS AGO AND YOU ARE RIGHT MEN IN GENERAL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS OR FEELS LIKE TO BE PREGNANT SO YOU NEED NOT STRESS YOUR SELF OUT. TO CRY IS TO BE HUMAN AND TO HAVE FEELINGS. PICK A ROOM WHRE ITS YOU AND YOUR BABY ALONE. MEN JUST START BEING CRAZY WHEN YOU ARE FULLY LOADED, BUT AS SOON AS YOU DROP THEY(MEN) ARE THE SWEETEST LITTLEST, PESKIEST THINGS YOU COULD KNOW. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LET HIM KNOW YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE SOME THINGS AND PROMISE HIM THAT THIS IS ONE IS THE LAST ONE.