Being on maternity leave after a csection caused us to have money problems that we're still catching up from. He never offers to help with the baby unless I'm obviously stressing, tired, or asking him too. I work all week asked for one day a weekend to sleep in, which he agreed was fair, that was a month ago and I still haven't gotten a break to sleep in as late as I want. He doesn't spend any time with us, he just plays world of warcraft. He says he loves me, and he tells me all the time how he's so shocked that I'm still with him, why do I put up with him.. But he doesn't stop doing all of these things that just make my life harder. My instinct says that he's distancing himself, what do you think? Before I got pregnant it wasn't like this. But we also had money to go do things from time to time. I just want to cuddle on the couch, is that too much to ask? sex is still great though and often.
2007-12-26 05:00:51 · 14 answers · asked by jenisilly80 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
The same thing happened with my husband and I. A lot of couples go through this. It is all the stress of having a new baby. You are sleep deprived and your body is still trying to get your hormones under control. Your husband plays the game to get away from it all (I'm a gamer and that is what I do to relieve some stress) but he needs to be spending time with you and the baby. My husband and I worked out a deal on the week end where he gets up Saturday and I get up Sunday. If you have to get up on the day you were suppose to sleep in, you need to be firm and tell your husband that since you got up today, he needs to get up tomorrow. And if he doesn't want to get up, make him. Also, to help with time management and to make sure you two have time together, set a schedule up for the baby. Figure out when the baby should eat, be changed, and put down for a nap. During nap time, you two can do whatever you would like. Things will get better though. If it is worth it to the both of you, you will make it work. Keep your chin up, sweetie.
2007-12-26 05:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by Corey 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Some of the people that answered called it a booty call. I do agree in a since, however, you may need to talk to your doctor about suffering from PPD. In the instance you are suffering from PPD, your horomones could be playing a role in how you are feeling. When I first had my daughter, I felt like no matter what my husband did, he never helped out enough, that is until my horomones FINALLY quit going AWAL on me.
If this is not the problem, then you need to sit down and figure out what is important to you. Obviously your child is important to you, but... you need to have him understand how you are feeling. One day, come home and tell him you are going shopping and HE has to stay with the baby. Make him take some responsibility. If you do not force him to do this, he never will and will continue to walk all over you. You make the choice and tell him "what's what" in your relationship.
Don't withhold sex, but he needs to understand, to "get it" is to "earn it". ;-) Good luck!
2007-12-26 13:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by Leanna's mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok sounds like you need to really talk to him. Put your foot down. Let him know that he had sex to make the baby and can help out. Hide the game or throuw it out. Was he going to deliver the baby and stay off work? Not possible so you should not feel the blame for the money.
Also possibly hold out on sex. Let him know that when you get what you want, he will get what he wants. If he lets you sleep in then give up the goods that night.
2007-12-26 13:12:17 · answer #3 · answered by #2 in the oven 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there are several people here that answered this question,and a lot of them have a very good point,you need to speak with him but you also need to hear his side and hear his feelings to i understand that you feel like this but have you stopped to think how he feels,there are men out there that do things like this until they comfortable with the new life then things fall in to place you should just give it time and take it one day at a time,you should have him feed the baby and change the baby then have him put the child down for a nap but let him know that you are going to be by his side if he needs anything then after he gets all that done he might have an idea if what you go through every day all day and have him do the night chores with the child.good luck....and if you guys are married then you have to work together to make this work it isn't just going to fall into place by its self its team work now and it takes the both of you to make this child and it going to take the both of you to raise this child.....keep your head up and take a breath Hun
2007-12-26 13:47:21 · answer #4 · answered by moonstone2009 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he has poor time management if hes playing wow. i play wow and i get 1-2 days for myself after my husband gets home from work to play. i never go out so this is my outlet. i play other times while my daughter is napping or after she has gone to bed. i can still raid on the days i choose as my me days.
while i was pregnant the place i worked for was moving so for 5 months i collected unemployment, which was barely enough to pay my bills and get food. if i wasn't pregnant i wouldn't have been putting much money towards food but that time was very difficult and it was straining. i ended up quitting wow for that time until we financially got better. my pregnancy put everything into perspective. how much wow shouldn't be a priority in my life.
he needs to spend less time playing wow while your child is awake so you can get some alone time and suggest cuddling after child is in bed.
wow can make people isolate themselves from the outside world and that can really interfer with a relationship(personal experience). he may be doing this and hopefully you can open his eyes and show him how hes been.
2007-12-26 13:39:06 · answer #5 · answered by LaRae L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you married?
It sounds like he's not interested in this life that's been created, - and he's waiting for the other shoe to drop (ie you leaving him).
Don't disappoint him, - LEAVE !!
I can't believe that these women think they can make a man out of a boy!
BTW, -he's selfish and has a maturity problem, - but I guess you didn't care too much about that.
2007-12-26 13:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by MK6 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are preparing yourself to face life as a single parent. Don't expect him to read your mind or remember what you said one month ago. You are both the parents of this child, talk to him about how you feel. If after the talk, and you express how you feel and what he should be doing, and World of Warcraft is still his priority...move on. You've already proven to yourself you can do it....
2007-12-26 13:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by LonnieLove 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl..im in the same boat..! things got better for me..my son is now 14 months old and we are a happy family..its just a tough time..you have to adjust to this new baby..things get hard then they get better..good luck
2007-12-26 13:05:25 · answer #8 · answered by Kimmie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you married? Because if your not then that's just telling you that you should wait until your married.
Alot of guys are like that....
maybe he's stressed about having a baby, or maybe he just wanted to have a baby because he finds fun in doing it.
I'd leave him if he's gonna be like that.
2007-12-26 13:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with kja63
"That's not a relationship, it's a booty call.
Sorry to be so blunt, but you asked"
Perhaps your significant other is not ready to be a parent. He wants things to be as they were before you got PG.
2007-12-26 13:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sweetharttt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋