When a person moves to the United States, how long should it take til they get used to how things work here?

Question

I know someone who has been in this country longer than I have been alive, and she still claims that she does not realize that some of the things she does or says are just rude and wrong here in the US (anywhere really).

She was 24 when she moved here and has been here about 40 years.

Do you think being from a different country is a cop out for her to be rude or do you think that she really just does not understand.

That woman is my MIL and here is another question since you were all so helpful.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArX0mj1i1lUxRoevQ_ZCAYLsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071226083054AAs2ae0

Answer 1

My husband came to the US at age 24.He says it shouldn't really take more than 5 years to learn the language well and of course in my opinon,being rude is a international thing.Some people either have class or they don't.Sounds like she is using it as a excuse for being lazy and rude.

Answer 2

In some respects i can understand what your saying but remember she came as an adult not a teenager or child like most. Secondly somethings that she's not letting go are part of who she is and where she comes from. She may realize that some things she does don't sit well with others but i don't think its intentional. I can say that because i look at the example of my grandmother, mother and uncle...In the haitian culture speaking loudly is just a part of peoples personality and the culture. Others think they're yelling but they aren't thats just the way they were brought up. So it isn't a complete cop out on her part, maybe just a little understanding and empathy in her direction will go a long way in making the relationship between the two of you more bearable.

Answer 3

Cop out. If we, (Americans), were to move to another country, they'd have their standards, and we'd have to conform. BUT, our culture or lifestyles could prohibit us from complete conformity. From your description, this woman is pushing 65 years old, which means by now, she is simply stuck in her ways, and not budging for anybody. She's been used to utilizing this excuse for 40 years, she hides behind it, why change now? There's no excuse for being uncouth, none.